our story....

A long time ago, when I was a teenager, sixteen years old, I was unconverted, I was silly, but I did have a strong belief in God. So, it's embarrassing to say, but I prayed for a boyfriend. A good boyfriend, a keeper, ha, I was ready to settle down. This sounds ridiculous, but I didn't like the "game", the break-ups and the cheaters and the whole dating thing.

And then I spent a weekend with my cousin, who lived out in the country in the Finger Lakes, and on Saturday night, we went "out". She was 18, which was legal age then for bars, I was sixteen...and a half. So I practiced my story, convincingly told the bouncer my birthday, using the real month and day, and fudging the year. Since most of it was true, I didn't feel too bad lying, and he believed me, that I forgot my license, and was from Syracuse and visiting my cousins.

And, that night, my cousin and I played the game where we just stood around looking at all the guys, choosing the cute ones and saying, "Wouldn't I like to bring HIM home to mama." When I saw Paul, it was game over, he was the one for me. He had lots of curly hair, and a navy blue velour v-neck long sleeved shirt on, remember those? He was standing around with his friends, and then he went up to the bar, and my cousin pointed out that his shirt tag was sticking out...she dared me to go tuck it in! Now, a dare, I couldn't refuse a DARE. So I did it. (and to be perfectly clear, I had not had any alcohol. We were not drinking, just standing around being silly). And he turned around, and I told him his tag was sticking out, and he was even cuter close up. He had just bought two of those little beers, don't think they still make them, O.V. splits, the seven ounce bottles. He handed me one, and we talked. We talked about Bugs Bunny (he loves him), Stephen King books, and then we danced. Whenever I hear Benny Mardones' "Into the Night" (If I could fly, I'd pick you up, and take you into the night...), oh dear, I was head over heels...

He was the one.

The thing is, he assumed, and rightly so, that since I was in a bar, I was at least eighteen, and well, he was in college, and I was in eleventh grade. So he asked for a senior picture, and I only had one from tenth grade. Then he met a mutual friend, a friend of my brother, who spilled the beans. Now, to get this clear, I had never lied to him about my age, he hadn't asked, but I was aware it would be an issue, and was dreading it. It wasn't a deal breaker, as he really liked me too.

We got married when I was 18 and a half, two years and two months after we met.

He had finished college, and was working, I had graduated high school and was working...

Anyway, that's the story about how we met.

Today, I have a doctor's appointment, to see the OB/GYN, the midwife recommended I see him regarding the bleeding I had a few weeks ago. So I am hoping and praying there is nothing going on, in fact, I would like it if the ultrasound shows a baby or two in there, ha, but no cancer.

Anyway...I have things to do, and kids to teach....

happy anniversary to me...and paul...

34 years ago today, it was actually a Friday back then too, Paul and I got married...in his mom's living room, by a justice of peace. If I could do it all over again, I would probably have a nicer wedding, but I would still marry the same guy. He's a keeper. We were so young, so naive, so hopeful. Emily came along ten months afterwards, and of course it was all uphill from there, ha, with 21 pregnancies in all, one stillborn baby, and the sixteen kids. It's been a crazy life, but oh so blessed.

Of course when you get married, you're attracted to each other. You love each other. That's usually the case. But why do so many marriages break up? What happens? Does it just naturally wear off? I can only speak from experience, but here's my take on it: day in, day out, thoughts come, I am tempted to maybe judge him, criticize him, be offended...maybe my feelings got hurt, so inside, I rack up the wrongs I have perceived, and harden my heart just a little bit. I get a little indifferent, or maybe I am going into full fledged Poor Me syndrome. Maybe some of this happens while I'm not looking, and I get grace to see it, and battle it full on! To keep the heart pure is a worthwhile fight! And when I fight my OWN sin, when I forgive and when I let things go, and when I decide to be kind and merciful instead of harboring a grudge, how can things NOT go well? I truly believe that Satan has had a field day with marriage in our day and age, whispering accusations and causing strife and division.

Just to be totally honest, life ain't always sunshine and roses, and married life is no different. There are times and seasons, and trials, but I cannot stress this enough: God can do amazing things when we put our trust in Him. Humility brings grace from God.

But anyway. We haven't seen each other much in the last month, he's been in Boston for work three out of the last four weeks. He gets home tonight, then tomorrow morning he has to be at the Dome bright and early for a fundraiser, and I have plans tomorrow. I let myself daydream of a trip to Jamaica, again, ha, because oh dear, leaving all obligations behind and just being together...but it's not happening. Maybe we can get away for a night or weekend one of these days.

This has been a grand morning so far. I got up and puttered around, made sure the school girls had their lunches, and after they got on the bus, I straightened things up, changed the couch covers, swept the floors, made coffee, let the dogs in and out twice, fed the kitties...then Joe, Kathryn, and Jonathan got back from the gym and oops, backed right into the ditch at the end of the driveway. They had to pull the car out with the truck. We are getting lots of snow...winter is getting old, ha.

I have to drive to the airport to pick Paul up this afternoon or evening, whenever he gets in from Boston, he is driving and will return the rental to the airport...hope it's not too snowy.

having eleven daughters....

Suzanne Eleanor 17, Emily Anne 33, Mirielle Joy 28, Sonja Kathleen 15, Margaret Cheryl 21, Mali Rose 24, Kathryn Grace 20, Evelyn Joy 18, Abigail Marie 31, and in the front, Miss Camille Anaya 10 and Miss Charlotte Claire 11.
Today is Mali's birthday. (Mali is Lydia's mom, this pic was taken three years ago this summer, before we met Miss Lyd, it seems impossible that we survived without knowing her!)

The five-girls-in-a-row-in-five-years are now 21, 20, 18 1/2, 17, and almost 16. How indeed did that happen? When we were at Disney, there was a family with four little girls in matching dresses, and ha, I realized WHY people stared at us, ha, but I thought to comment, "Wait 'til they're teenagers!", but didn't. Because first of all, when your little girls still let you dress them in matching pink dresses, there is no way in heck you can imagine what it's like when they grow up and develop minds of their own. You also can't imagine the multitude of blessings that come with being there with them as they grow up and turn into their own selves. You may well be able to get a glimpse of the battles lying ahead, the battles of will and of attitudes and maybe even the slamming of a few doors, but you won't know how fiercely you will still love them, how you will admire their strengths and abilities.

My daughters are so different from each other. Emily has the best memory, she excels in history and remembers conversations, song lyrics, and medical terms with ease, but she would be the one who would forget her water bottle at the park. She is a hard worker, loves hikes and bike rides and the big outdoors, but a good book and a rainy day...yup.

Abigail is an accountant, she likes lists and organization. When she was little, we used to call her Bert (from Sesame Street...he had a paper clip collection). She has a worrying personality, but she is also the best driver, calmly pivoting through traffic...

Benjamin...from my sweet baby Benjamin Bunny, to the toddler nickname of Hurricane Hugo, to the cool and extremely challenging teenager, Ben has the biggest heart. He has grown into such a thoughtful young man, responsible and reliable and capable...

Mirielle...she's a force to be reckoned with. You won't call her, "Honey", or "Sweetheart". (even though she is, ha.) She stands up for what she believes in, her faith in God is strengthening. She is a hard worker too, she has lots of initials behind her name now, RN, BSN, and OCN. She is an oncology nurse. I LOVE traveling with her, we went to Ireland and drove across the country together, and were still friends when we got there, ha.

Mali Rose...she is an excellent mama! Lydia is like a mini-Mali, so much spunk and personality! Mali is a hard worker too, she manages to work full time as an RN, and be a good mommy too. Mali is funny and quick, but she is soft and kind, she is a giver, doesn't backbite anyone, ever.

Margaret: Her baby is due any time now! It's hard to reconcile the Margaret who gave me such a hard time as a teenager to the Margaret who is married and almost a mommy, because we get along so well now. She wasn't terrible or anything, just strong-willed. Her strength is a good thing, she has principles and is firm in what she believes. And, she didn't like dogs growing up, now she has two, they're her kids...for now.

Kathryn...oh Kappy Sue, how sweet you are. Kap is the work-out queen, and an excellent big sister. She homeschooled for the last few years of high school, and was so diligent to learn what she was supposed to. She has a good head on her shoulders, and is trustworthy and fun, too.

Evelyn...Ev is so reliable and she can figure things out, and doesn't need to be told twice what needs to be done. She is smart and quick-witted, and full of wisdom and advice. She's a reader, and she is a doer.

Suzanne...she learned to crochet from watching you-tube videos, and now you rarely see her without a new project spinning into being, like kitty hats, or a blanket. She made me a wonderful scarf. She is a staunch conservative, lost some friends at school for finally saying she didn't believe in abortion, no way no how, and Miss Suze has the softest heart. She is funny and sarcastic and she looks at me over the top of her glasses, and I look at her over the top of mine.

Sonja K...Sonja is more liberal in her thinking, and likes to argue her points. She is silly and sweet and very strong. She recently pierced her own ears, she already had one hole in each, but that wasn't enough, she did it herself, second holes. Was I thrilled? no. But she has such a good heart, and would do anything for me.

Charlotte Claire...Char is yacky and sweet and energetic and the most flexible child we've ever had. She is capable and independent and she LOVES the dogs. She can bathe them and feed them, and they sleep in her room. She trained Sunny to jump through the hula hoop.

Camille...Cam will always be The Baby. She still wears this giant blanket sleeper pair of jammies, and I call her the big baby, but shh, she doesn't know it. She still perches on the arm of my chair at least once a day. She is always busy with something, right now she is making seals on envelopes with the glue gun and old crayons. She doesn't get bored, and she has to have a book to read as she falls asleep at night. She is a first class speller, and learns things fast.

Anyway...off I go...Evelyn has only study halls for the rest of the day and wants to be picked up from school...

love, bunnies, easter, and siblings....

How about a random disjointed post for a change?

Here's something: the older kids in our family are amazing to the younger ones. I can't even explain it. Kathryn for example, she painted and re-did her room, the two little girls helped her...then Jonathan wanted to switch from the bunk beds he has had forever, to a loft bed no one was using, and Kathryn wanted to switch from her bed to one of Jon's bunks, so they had to get the drill and take things apart and move things up and down the stairs. I didn't hear fighting or complaining, no, they were laughing and singing. Then last night, the little girls were getting their bedding for a sleepover in Kathryn's room.

Yesterday afternoon, I decided to do something fun with just the two youngest, Miss Char and Miss Cam.

(this was taken at Disney)
Anyway, I asked them what they wanted to do...then I looked at what movies were playing. Now, we rarely go to the movies. But, it was only going to be the three of us, Paul is in Boston for the week, the older kids were all going to a meeting...so I offered to take them to the new Peter Rabbit movie, and they gleefully accepted. I half thought they would think it was lame, being such a kids' movie, but they were excited to go. Being a Tuesday evening, the theater for that movie was empty, except for us. We really enjoyed it, thought it was entertaining, with nothing bad in it. And the bunnies were cute!

On the way home, we talked about Easter baskets. Now, I love filling Easter baskets. I've had years when I've filled not only 16 for my kids, but some for friends too, who weren't getting one for some reason or other. Now that the kids are mostly grown up, they don't need baskets of candy anymore. Kathryn, Evelyn, Suzanne, Sonja, and Jonathan are going to be in Norway for Easter, so I thought I'd just get them some gum, Tic-Tacs, mints, ect., to take in their backpacks. And maybe some money for Norwegian chocolate, that maybe just maybe will make it's way back to their mama.:) Anyway, Char says she doesn't really want a basket, but then started naming things she WOULD like, Reese's eggs, a few chocolate Cadbury eggs, and yes, some jellybeans. Cam just flat out wants the whole shebang. "I would still like an Easter basket, Mommy!"

Another thing about siblings and love: the older kids have been so generous to help the younger ones with their big trip to Norway. It warms my heart. They will repay them, in helping them do things around their houses, ect., but still, it's amazing.

And not much else is going on...

soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur...

Sadly, two of our kittens died the other night. They had gotten separated from their mama for a few hours, and were cold and weakly mewing when Jonathan found them. He tried to warm them up by putting them next to his skin, and using a warm rice bag. He tried to give them to mama kitty but she just licked them once or twice and they were too weak to nurse. They were a week old, and we already loved them, and Jon was pretty broken up about it. They just stopped moving, and it was sad. They were all snuggled into a nest he had made for them, and we had to bury them in the yard. I found a really nice box, from an Aldi's bath gift set, and lined it with paper towels. And please, I know they were "only kittens", but that's not how the heart works, is it? The saddest part for me was how awful it was for the kids. Jonathan hugging sobbing Miss Char, oh my soul.

Mama kitty knows something's up. She cannot count, but she seems to think the three kittens remaining aren't enough. She keeps moving them from in the closet to into the room, she's agitated. We keep it quiet in there, the dogs don't go in there and bother her, and now Jon has a space heater in there, even though that room is really warm. He keeps checking on them, to make sure they are safe and near mama.

(This mama cat is going to get spayed this time for sure, after these kittens are weaned! We tried to do it last time, got all the pre-surgery stuff done, then we kept Mr. Orange Guy, who wouldn't stop nursing, and before we knew it, she was in heat again, and I just knew...and I was right. We simply couldn't do a kitty-bortion, they do those, and wah. So this time, we aren't keeping any kittens, and off to the vet she'll go after we rehome the three kittens. The daddy cat is a wanderer cat, a cat of many homes, mostly the woods, hardly here, we haven't seen him in forever now...)

Anyway. Animals bring joy, too. Just look at these two.

Sunny's face!

Suri's face!


They can be royal pains in the arses, but, they bring so much fun and blessing and cuddling into the house. They sleep in the little girls' room at night, spoiled little princesses, all four of them, ha. (The name Suri means princess) And Sunny, well, it's not original, but she IS Sunny. When she's in trouble, I call her her whole name, Little Miss Sunshine. Oh dear, I'm the crazy dog lady.

Here's what Cam made the other day, with minimal help:

I wish I could say they looked good but I have no idea how they tasted, but alas, sometimes even my will of steel caves when there are cookies aroma-ing up the house. The ones minus the chocolate chips were chewy and heavenly, then I ventured to try just one WITH the chips, and that's really all I had, four plain, and one with chips. Ashley said that oatmeal cookies are healthy, and I just looked at her over the top of my glasses.

Today, we're having meatballs for dinner. Spaghetti for the kids. I love knowing what's for dinner.

The crock-pot is my friend. I bought a piece of boneless pork, for $1.49 a pound, a $12 piece, cut it in half and put it in the crock pot with a marinade of lemon and lime juices, sage, thyme, salt and pepper. Then a sprinkling of brown sugar on top. Oh dear, so yummy. It fell apart, and we ate it like pulled pork...some Sticky Fingers spicy barbecue sauce, mmm.

Evelyn and the girls cleaned the laundry room the other day. Now, this is wonderful, walking in there with everything in it's place, I love doing laundry again. But, as with all good things, it's too good to be true, as she goes in there and has a little fit if anything is out of place. Dryer lint, on the shelf, really Mom? What's this doing draped here? ouch. um. That was me. ha. I am trying really hard to keep it clean!

I also cleaned my room that same day. Piles on top of piles, I sorted and got rid of stuff, washed stuff and put it away, vacuumed and cleaned the windows, washed bedding, shined the mirrors, now I like waking up in my room again. I also found good stuff. I am a stasher. Not a hoarder, as I heard my kids saying as they cleaned the laundry room. They shouldn't sling around those kind of terms, because I am so NOT a hoarder. I don't mind throwing things away, I just like getting new things, ha. And I like bargains, and most of the time, the things I buy are very appreciated by someone, sometime. So when I cleaned my room, I good stuff...you know, you come home with a bag with a shirt in it for one of the girls, maybe for their birthday...or something for someone who has a baby someday...so you put it in your room. Evelyn found a huge-0 bag of candy in the laundry room, unopened. I acted like I knew it was in there, it was for Easter. ha. They opened it. Ev said she just wanted ONE PIECE. Well, you know how THAT went. But it was a good prize for all their hard work.

The good part of letting a room get so messy is how rewarding it is when it gets cleaned up.

We need to re-organize and clean the hall closets, next.

See, the kids are going on a huge trip to Norway, a two week trip, in March, over Easter break. They are fundraising for the most part, but with four of them going (plus Kathryn, but she paid for her own ticket, ect.), it has been hard to earn that much, they needed ten thousand dollars. Yes, you read that right. They worked and earned most of it, then we kicked in some (lots), so they have to work it off. I am very thankful they get to go, it's sure to be an amazing experience. Their older siblings have also helped, so they owe them some work too:)

Anne is coming over today, and we have school to do. My little girls helped Kathryn paint her room yesterday. They get so excited about renovation/projects. They helped pick the paint color, and Kathryn said they were actually really good helpers.

I have so many projects I want to do here, but there's never enough time, then there's the money side too. Then I think about eternity, and how short life is, and I want to be content with what I have, and how things are. I think it's okay to improve things and take care of things, and make your house a home, and have it comfy and warm, especially if you're making it nice and welcoming for other people to be comfortable. It's essential to be hospitable. I remember when we first built this house, I could not believe I was going to be living in a huge brand new house. We were in a mobile home with five kids at that time. I was bursting with thankfulness for this house. My brothers and my husband built it, with lots of help from friends. It was a huge project, and our goal was to build a functional house, nothing fancy, and we had to be careful not to go over budget, so the doors are all builder's grade, ect. But I vowed to use my house in the right way, to have an open home, to have it a place where people could feel welcome and comfortable. If it were always spotless and I was always well rested and full of energy, then it would be no problem to be hospitable. But life doesn't work that way. I can't say, "When the stars are aligned in a certain way, THEN I'll be faithful." Nope. Come on in. I will die a million deaths about the towels hanging on the kitchen chairs and the overflow from the Ramen the kids cooked all over the top of the stove, the socks here and there and the coffee mugs on the end tables, but it won't kill me, and please, make yourself at home....

snow day!!!!

Snow, wind, and loveliness. We had a taste of spring-y weather, but winter came back for a visit. School is cancelled, the roads in our county are closed, travel only for work if it's necessary for health and safety. So Paul is working from home, and the house is brimming with kids. One of my older girls slid off the road on the way to work this morning, but she was towed out by a kind passer-by, which makes my heart happy...that there is still goodness in people. She was going slow, and said she "flew" off the road and into the ditch. She's fine, but wow.

Our plans for today include nothing. There is talk of homemade cinnamon buns or pizza dough, there is talk of getting the sewing machine out and making some pillowcases. For now, there is crocheting (Suzanne), and some playing Mario Cart. I have swept and mopped floors, and cleaned the bathroom. They are thinking of going sledding out back...

Yesterday was interesting, I went to lunch with my sister, and my brother and his wife. How could we run out of things to talk to, Bob and Mary have 10 kids (and 21 grandchildren), my sister has seven daughters (and going on 15 grandchildren), and me...our kids all grew up together, of course, being cousins. It was nice to catch up, but there is always other stuff going on...there was ANOTHER scare at the school, this time someone had ammunition in his backpack. The school was on lock-down, so those kids had to hunker down and hide in those classrooms, in closets and bathrooms, on the floors and behind desks...for an hour and a half.

That's a long time to be scared. Sonja said she could hear the stomping up and down the stairs and the slamming of lockers as the police searched. The girls were texting me as soon as the lock-down was over, they were scared and wanted to be picked up. They knew by then that everything was okay, but still. I was in the small city with my brother and sister, but Kathryn was allowed to go pick them up.

The ammo brought to school was ruled accidental, we do live in a rural area, and kids do hunt. You would think that these days a kid would think twice and maybe even three times before forgetting there were .22 rounds in his backpack, but what do I know?

Anyway. It's a snow day, and it's lovely.

off we go....!

Today, I am excited to be going to lunch with my only sister, Cheryl, and our brother Bob, to celebrate his birthday! Cheryl is ten years older than I am, Bob is the second oldest...I am #6 in the family of seven kids. So when we go to lunch, I will still be the "little sister".

(Kathryn is going to hold down the fort for me:))

Yesterday, we decided to go out and about...first stop, Target. We didn't get much, but Anne liked seeing all the things there. She was getting tired of shopping but we did take a quick trip into Price-Chopper for just a few things...then to the library. She really likes the library, she can run around and play with the toys there.

Home...I sat in the sun on the deck for a little while, ahh.

Dinner: chicken fajitas, with corn salsa by Camille, who had googled the Moe's recipe, because she likes it so much. Ben and Ashley and Anya and little Elise came for dinner, not that Elise eats food yet, ha.

Anne is here in just a minute, my time to sit here is done for now...:)