spring, being busy, and enjoying life...

Yesterday afternoon, my son Samuel called...so I walked around barefoot in the yard while we talked. The grass is soft and green, and is everything I dreamed about this past winter...this past long cold torturous winter.


This is our beautiful back yard from the side. We are no landscapers, but we try to keep it mowed. :) It's a great place for kids to romp, we have woods on the side and out back to play in.

It's been hard for me to have my kids grow up. They grow and grow and grow, and now only the three youngest play on the swingset. Not too long ago, we didn't have enough swings and they had to take turns. I used to wish for a really big swingset, with like fifteen swings on it. Summertime was me in the kitchen washing up dishes, and listening to the creaking of the swings, and hearing them squabble over who gets the glider next. The door would slam, as they trooped in and out of the house, me telling them, "Either come in or stay out, what do you need now?" Always something really important, like one of my clean towels to dry off the wagon seat.

Anyway, they do grow up, and there's nothing I can do about it. Perhaps that's why we delight so in having little Davian come over. That AND, he's delightful.

Anyway. Today...soccer tournament at church for the older kids. Joseph and Kathryn are in it...and WAH, I can't go. I have to work at the baseball game. I am trying really hard to reconcile myself to it. We have this contract to work these games, and someone has to do it...even if there weren't a soccer tournament, it would be hard to leave home on a sunny Saturday, since there are so few in which Paul is home...he is leaving again tomorrow, for a week.

Anyway, I am working at the baseball game. I may as well have a good attitude about it.

This morning, I helped pack lunches, and Suzanne and Sonja and Jonathan and his friend Mekhi went out the door with Joseph and Kathryn, to watch them play. Margaret has to work at the store in town today, then she will be going out there with Evelyn. Paul will be here with the two little girls, and I'm sure they will have a really good day.

Tomorrow: birthday party! Lots of little boys are coming over to celebrate with Jonathan! I hope that chance of thunderstorms doesn't pan out, I would much rather they ran around the yard. Boys, in my opinion, are a little more stampede-y and crash-y than girls are. They are yell-y and punch-y and wrestle-y. But we probably won't have any whispering or crying or secret telling, like when lots of girls get together....

But tomorrow isn't just the party...first church...then soccer practice for the younger kids...then home for the party. Paul has to go to the airport, maybe Joseph will bring him. Busy busy busy.

Yesterday, I picked Evelyn up from school and brought her out and about. We needed more potting soil and seeds. But first, Dunkin Donuts for iced coffee. mmmm. Then to Walmart for the pizza dough I forgot the day before. We each got a tank top, we wandered through the baby stuff, now that I am going to be a Grandma again, I can do that again. We stopped at the bank, then went to Marshall's and found Sonja a few things for her birthday, which is tomorrow...she turns 13! The fifth of the five girls in a row...now Margaret's 18, Kathryn 17, Evelyn 15, Suzanne 14, and Sonja will be 13. I'm not sure if it's harder now or like ten years ago....:)

Evelyn and I had a grand old time yakking and being silly and also sneaking in some important conversation. I treasure these one-on-one times with the kids.

Then home...chicken wings into the oven. I made one pizza for the younger kids at home to start on, then prepared two more for the kids who had to leave for cleaning at church. Half the chicken wings in buffalo hot sauce, then some barbecued ones. I made a special "pizza" for me...and for anyone else who didn't want to eat that pizza dough...a one pound bag of frozen cauliflower, tossed in olive oil, browned in the oven...then I added a little bit of pizza sauce, lots of mozzarella cheese, some green peppers, and pepperoni. Baked until brown and crispy, it was really good. I felt like I had pizza, but with way less carbs.

You can make the cauliflower into a dough, but this was way easier and tasted about the same.

The princesses are awake, and I only have a little over an hour until I have to leave for baseball, so I shall go and have breakfast with them....

thank God it's friday....

Camille and I...my sweet little sixteenth child. Her big sister Evelyn calls her, "Christmas cookie face."

She is a snuggler. Don't get me wrong, Miss Char is my sweetie too. She is just not as likely to hang on me.

Thank God for more than, "it's Friday", that's for sure. I don't always FEEL thankful, but that doesn't mean I'm not.

Yesterday, for example. I had to take Margaret to the bank to set up an account. The nice bank lady had all the time in the world. The sun was shining in the clear blue sky, and we sat there...and sat there. ugh. Then to my second favorite place in the world: The department of Motor Vehicles. This place isn't as bad as where Patty and Selma work, but. Take a number, wait in line...Kathryn lost her permit and had to get a new one, Marg had paperwork to take care of so she can drive to her new job...at the grocery store in town! Aaron used to work there years ago...

Anyway. Then we went to Wegman's for strawberries and bananas and carrots and burger, since that's what Jon wanted for his birthday dinner...

We went to BJ's for chicken wings, which Evelyn promised Jon for dinner tonight, as Jon is having one of his friends for the night. We also got candy and snacks for Sunday...

Then to Walmart for a HDMI cord for Suzanne, pizza dough which I just realized I never got, and ice cream for Sunday, which is when Jon's party is for all of his crazy little friends.:)

Did I want to be running hither tither and nigh on such a beautiful day? Nah. But, we made the best of it, Margaret, Kathryn, and I.

And today...I don't have anywhere I need to go...except for picking Evelyn up from school at 2:00. We are going to get some more potting soil and seeds, ect., for our little garden.

And Paul texted me that there's a garage sale down the road, with bikes...hmm. Very tempting. Suze likes to go on bike rides with the kids, but doesn't have a bike that works. We have like ten with different things wrong with them. ugh.

I am working at the baseball game tomorrow. I don't want to. It's going to be a beautiful day, and Paul will be home from work, that's a rare combination. He's leaving Sunday again...for a week. I can't even drive him to the airport because I will be a soccer practice with the younger kids, then I have a birthday party to set up.

poor me, eh? not.

The little details of life. I don't want to get tripped up in complaining about them. Counting one's blessings is much nicer. Stewing in frustration is not my cup of tea, so when I get tempted to discontentment, I ask God for more patience. I say NO to those thoughts that would lead me down the path of bitterness and NOT FAIR. We all KNOW that it's not what we do that makes us happy, but how we take our situations. That's a nice theory, but when it's tested, it's not always easy. But isn't that what faith is? Trusting that God knows just what we need in life? And believing that it is weighed and measured for our very best? No one wants to wait in line, or drive people places or clean up cat poop or to trip over muddy soccer cleats. But our thoughts are our life. It's how WE react that determines our happiness.

So that last paragraph is to encourage ME, ha. I am very prone to thinking in the wrong direction sometimes. Especially when I'm tired, or have a headache. :)

Mali came over last night, as did Mirielle and Abigail. We had a full house, a loud house. Jonathan was pretty happy, especially that he got to pack his bag and go home and spend the night at Emily/Abigail/Mirielle's house. Abigail is his very best friend.

Jon and I are very excited about our trip out west. We are saving up to go visit Ben and Ashley and little Anya, in the fall. Jonathan is very faithful to put in all of his money, and returns bottles and cans, and his sisters give him their change...Emily and Grandma gave him money for his birthday, and he put it into the trip savings. We are going to work hard this summer, selling things on ebay. I am kind of hoping we can make tons so Char and Cam can come too, but we'll see. They seem fine with Jon and I going, and even give him money towards it. But little kids are so full of wonder and make adventures more adventurous.

We are counting our days to our next trip though: three weeks! Grandma, Jonathan, Charlotte Claire, Camille, and I...we are driving down to Washington D.C. We have rented a minivan, which in itself is rather exciting...new and shiny and not all dented and crumb-y. Paul will be in France that week, arriving in the states that Friday, so he will just fly into D.C....Sam will be marching in the Memorial Day parade...the little girls are SO excited, they keep asking to see pictures of the hotel online. Again. It will be so crowded down there that weekend...

The girls are awake now, perhaps I will take them down the road to see about those bikes...

happy birthday, to jon!

They are playing store. If I don't catch them quickly in the morning, they get involved in these things, and it's so hard for me to tear them away to do schooling. So this fine birthday morning, while the aroma of Jon's favorite cookies wafts through the house..


So they are playing store, using two toy shopping carts, and now they've made a whole pile of fake money. They have raided the cupboards, and Jon got out a stack of video games to "buy", he says they are all half off today. The cashiers are having a snack break now though...

I have been avoiding baking cookies. Because I am The Cookie Monster. And these oatmeal cookies are almost to die for. They are made with butter and a little bit of coconut oil, and then all the other evil things like white flour and sugars. I haven't had one and don't plan to, but I never forget a cookie, and I know if I were to bite into one, I wouldn't be disappointed with the chewy consistency...oh yummers. But I have decided to stay on the straight and narrow, and since I'm not the moderation kind of girl when it comes to cookies, I just won't have any. One cookie will just fuel the fire.

Anyway. I made only a single batch, no doubling or tripling. Did I mention how yummy they smell?

Birthday cookies and milk for breakfast! Because...why not?

The weather here in the northeast is finally cracking...letting in some spring warmth. The sun is shining, and today will be in the sixties. We were outside yesterday, then went to the pool. Not too shabby.

We ARE going to do some school today. After cookie break. They know it's nice out, so they will get their stuff done so they can run around in their barefeet and soak up the sun.

Writing this between taking trays of cookies out of the oven and cleaning up two milk spills...I can't concentrate. Not to mention the excited kids here...so goodbye for now.

a new stroller!

Miss Camille was the most excited when we found this stroller to buy for her big sister Mali's new baby, which is due at the end of the summer.







So...I told Miss Mali that I would buy her the stroller/carseat. I was NOT thinking Graco. I am a stroller snob, and wanted something European. I browsed ebay, and craigslist...but didn't see anything spectacular at an affordable price. Yesterday, Camille came along with me when I dropped Margaret off at work. She works 20+ minutes away. If I return home, then drive back to get her, it's 80 minutes of driving. She works three hour stretches, and her job is right down the road from suburbia...so I just stay there...there is a library and a park, and a few minutes farther, Target and grocery stores and and and.

So yesterday Camille was with me. I didn't need groceries or anything, so I asked her what she wanted to do. Toy store! Of course. The apple doesn't rot very far from the tree:) Anyway, clearance sale! This stroller with the car seat was only $102! A hundred bucks! The car seat is very nice and cushy, and the stroller is surprisingly nice, for a Graco. The footrest can adjust to make a cozy bassinet like bed for baby, and the seat back reclines all the way. The hood is huge, and it is pushes like a dream. Camille pushed it all the way through Toys R Us, she had more fun than you would believe.

My little friend is on his way, so goodbye for now...

terrible tuesday...

Camille found a new passion. She isn't the picture of grace, which sometimes breaks my heart, but she THINKS she is, so it's okay. You should see her do ballet.

Ah. Today is sunny and beautiful, and not really so terrible. I mean, I am alive. That's something. I won't complain about my Hollowed Out night. (That's when you fall asleep like a log, then wake up and think about things. The bed is uncomfy and you get hot and cold and have great ideas and the list of things you know you have to do grows and grows...then the blinds start brightening, and you check the time...ugh, almost time to get up. You try to fall back to sleep for that last hour, but don't doze until like five minutes before you have to get up. That's a hollowed out night.) Anyway. Aside from feeling really sleepy, it's a good day.

Yesterday...I dropped some kids off at the library, then headed to Target to buy a new blender. Our old one died after only two years, but appliances in our house are used like five times more often than the average. And my kids are smoothie makers. We chose a nicer model, and it the kids couldn't wait to come home and start making smoothies. I also bought Char and Cam each a cute pair of shorts and a top, for our upcoming trip to Washington D.C....Memorial Day weekend. I found some pants for Jonathan, too. And leggings for Sonja. And popcorn and slushies on the way out the door. They love to pour their own icee/slushie. Of course they do.

Then...to Aldi for half and half and milk and eggs and bananas and oranges and lemons.

Then to Tops for a few other things...I found Dannon fruit on the bottom strawberry yogurt for twenty cents. I got 21 of them, left one behind because my mother taught me to never take the last one. One of the kids asked why I was buying so many...duh. For smoothies!

Anyway. Home, put the stuff away, and took Kathryn to soccer practice.

The kids weren't very hungry for dinner because they had smoothies so late in the day, and Paul ate a late lunch. So I cooked up some bacon, then baked a big batch of kale tossed in olive oil...sliced up some grapefruit, and washed the strawberries. A healthy little snack.

Davian is here today, playing dollhouse with Camille. Charlotte Claire just woke up and told me that she was awake all night. I showed her where I wrote about the Hollowed Out night. hmm. Her's sounded just like mine.



I do have places to go today, but tomorrow I might stay home...if I can. I don't mind going out and about, but it's hard to balance school, cleaning the place up, and all these home improvement projects are only getting done in my mind in the middle of the night.

Last night when I did sleep, I had a dream about a tiny baby. I scooped that baby up, it was warm and trusting and I loved it. It's mother said I could have it, then it's daddy came along and took it away. I just stood there rubbing my empty hands together, telling that daddy to be good to his baby. Okay, I know it made no sense.

Ah well. Paul rototilled a spot in the front yard for Evelyn and I to plant stuff. I am no landscaper, and neither of my thumbs are green. But now that my little ones are growing up, the things that I never had time for are possibilities. For years and years, it was enough to just get the lawn mowed, and paint the trim every few years, maybe do some weed-eating. There was simply enough to do INSIDE the house. When I got outside, I had babies and toddlers to tend to...and just painting trim, for example, was accomplished real quick during naptime.

Time to get moving...I have washed dishes and swept and mopped and wiped down counters. Now I have to get these kiddos some breakfast and start some schooling...

marvelous monday...

And just why is it marvelous? No, I didn't win the lottery, and no, I am not pregnant. We didn't decide to build a new house, heck, we haven't even fixed the hot tub. The refrigerator still leaks, as does the washing machine (that's what towels were made for right?). I am still fat, and the house is still messy. But. I am alive. And today is stretched before me....

In an hour or so, my sweet little Davian is coming over. He's not exactly, "mine", but he certainly owns part of my heart. He is my niece and her husband's son, and he is a total sweetie. I get to watch him this week. He has so much personality, and adds so much to our home when he's here. The little girls cluck around, wanting to take care of him and play with him, and Jonathan loves having a little friend to impress. And Davian impresses us regularly. He's an extremely intelligent child, I wouldn't believe it if I didn't know him...he knows the planets and the state capitals and how to read...and not just simple stuff. He reads and understands what he has read. He turned three in January. :)

When someone trusts me/us with their child, I do feel a huge weight of responsibility, yet also very blessed.

Mali was here yesterday. She is still pretty sick. She threw up three times. She kept down only crackers, the whole day. She has this cute little tummy now, and the baby is kicking. I am looking forward to meeting this new grand child, and since Mali will be going back to work after maternity leave (probably six weeks or so), I will be babysitting for her. I intend to love this child as much as Mali will, and since I love her already, I'm off to a good start. Anyway, Mali brought came over with her new kitten, a tiny little black thing that cuddled up under her chin and purred. The kids had too much fun keeping track of that kitten, and our doggies were SO good, interested in it, but they just wagged and sniffed.

So here's the thing: hot flashes. If you have never had them, or if you went through the dreaded Change and it was a piece of cake, I hate you. Seriously. I mean, I'm sleeping away, and all of the sudden I'm hot. Hot all over, and have to thrash off all the covers. If I'm lucky enough to drift back to sleep, I wake up freezing. Then it happens again. Five o'clock rolls around. Then six. And there I am, all wide awake. I had one in the store the other day and it is not fun. And this is the big thing in life, along with miscarriages and periods, that is not to be talked about. I mean, can I really answer the cashier's friendly query, "And how are you today?", with..."Well, not too bad, but I just had a horrible hot flash in the cereal aisle." It is not spoken about. It's personal, and we are to be quiet about it. It's like Ha, You're Getting Old! But don't talk about it.

There, I feel better.

Emily and Abigail also visited yesterday, along with my niece Audrey. The little girls had their friend Amanda over, and it was quite a busy house, with the kitten here and all. One pint-sized kitten can add a lot of hullabaloo. We had taco salad, and I made a quick pan of brownies, using coconut oil instead of canola or vegetable oil, and I'm sad to say that I tasted some and they were excellent. It was only one batch, and it went quickly, thankfully.

Well...kids waking up, things to learn, breakfast to make...

out and about....on a lovely saturday...

oops, this one was from yesterday after the pool...Kathryn was driving...and not appreciating her fun mom.

This was from my walk this morning...the air was crisp, but oh the promise of spring!! Look at that sky!

Evelyn wanted to go to the book sale at the library today. And why not? We took Suzanne and Sonja too. We had to stop in the dollar store afterward for some potting soil...the girls got silly...

These three youngest children of ours, Jonathan (#14), Charlotte Claire (#15), and Camille, the baby...we took them out for Chinese food, Paul and I. The older kids were all busy...

And so another lovely Saturday has passed. The kids are watching, "Penguins". The house is quiet, the teenagers are all still gone.

We decided it was fun to go to the Chinese buffet, but blah, the greasy food, yuck. Even the kids felt too full. Ah well. It was fun. We drove all around the country roads on the way home.