time change, ugh!!!

 It's an extra Monday morning kick in the pants.  I didn't have to get up as early as usual, because Miss Charlotte Claire is still traveling back from Norway, and isn't going to school today.  But, I am going to the pool, for the first time in a week! Adrian asked me to watch the little boys today, and I said I would, but I NEED to swim first. So, they'll be here when I get back.

Margaret and Char will hopefully be flying in tonight, but this east coast storm, eeks....

A shiny field of snow...it is lovely.

This is how I'm feeling about winter lately though...meh.  It's snowing this morning, and we might get 6+ inches tonight, tomorrow...blah.   As long as it's cleared up Wednesday morning for the pool again!

I shouldn't have started a post, as I have to leave, hate being the last one in the pool, no matter how I try not to care what anyone thinks of me, and I seriously don't...that walk across the pool deck and down the ramp is not fun.  (I totally realize that it's ridiculous, and in theory I don't care at all but...as we all know, theory and reality collide).   It's just a body, I want it to function and not ache, so I take care of it, but it's passing away, and to be so vain about it is silly, and I'm thankful I know this.  The body IS a gift, a gift to take care of...

Anyway....off I go....

off we go!

 Well, it's truly quiet here this fine morning.

More snow!

  The grandchildren have all gone home.  We had children here Tuesday-last night.  After watching Monsters Inc., with popcorn and The Floor is Made of Lava and building Duplo towers and playing play dough, Adrian brought his boys back home.  Kathryn and Darius came over for a visit...

Wulf is a proud cousin, holding baby Jamison...and Tennyson is just happy!

Auntie Camille!

Yesterday morning, I made waffles again...the boys love them.  Wulf got to crack the egg, help stir, and add sprinkles (Grandma's waffles have to have sprinkles, brown sugar, vanilla...Wulf says they are the best!)

Then Camille was a good sport, we took Wulf and Tennyson to the play place, to run around and play.  Wulf has more of an attention span, he likes to really explore things.  Tennyson gets the lay of the land quite fast, and goes from thing to thing.  

We stopped at McDonalds, then came back here and had a picnic at the coffee table before Tennyson had a nap, and Wulf got to play Mario Cart on the Switch. And grandma sat and put those feet up ha.

This fine morning, I am excited...I'm going to see Kathryn for a bit, then going to spend the afternoon with my friends, we're watching a church transmission for the sisters/women/girls.  

Five of my girls traveled to Norway to be with friends from all over the world...

Charlotte, friend Carmen, Evelyn, Mariel, friend Page, Emily, and Margaret!  I think they're having a fantastic time!  (This is why I had Wulf and Tennyson, Margaret is their mama, and their daddy, Adrian, had to go to classes as he is in college)

Anyway...I have to go finish making my low carb peanut butter cookies...off I go!

happy happy happy...

 anniversary to us!  Paul and I have been married for 39 years today.

I was so young, 18 years old...a twelve dollar dress, borrowed shoes....a Friday night wedding ceremony Paul's mom's living room, then a whirlwind honeymoon:  one night at the Holiday Inn, one at the Red Roof Inn, then back to work on Monday morning.  We didn't actually go on a honeymoon trip until 26 years later, when Camille was two...five glorious days in Jamaica.

We took some weekends away through the years, this is at Watkins Glen a few years back.

He's clever, he got these last night, hid them, and when I woke up bright and early, they were in the vase!

It's been busy here, and exciting.  Miss Kathryn Grace had the baby!  Jamison Jack was born yesterday morning, and I got to go see him at the hospital last evening.  He's home already, Darius came and picked up Rhys and Achilles...now it's just Wulf and Tennyson here.

Camille showed them a picture of their new baby brother!

Such joy.

Wulf, and some of Jonathan's old Nerf supply.

Achilles

I brought these Tennyson and Wulf for a little walk after Rhys and Achilles left.  But the wind was cold, so it was a short walk.  Grandpa got out the car ramp, Tenny likes it.

Not too long ago, I had my hands full on a regular basis.  These kids were our youngest seven, on a little trip to the cemetery to visit baby Robert.  Camille, Charlotte Claire,  Jonathan, Sonja K., Suzanne, Evelyn, Kathryn....(ages 2 to 11)(Robert was in between Sonja and Jonathan)...in any case, they didn't seem very sad:)

Evelyn, Suzanne, Sonja, Jonathan, Char, and Cam, the youngest six...oh, how time flies.  (Suze...so glum...she apparently wanted to go to Chinese...and apparently we did...)

Wulf is playing an assortment of things that aren't actually toys, a light up training wheel, a plastic golf ball, a screwdriver...Sunny is very interested in the light-up training wheel, so she's following him intently.  Tennyson is all tucked into a nappy-nap.  

Diapers and sippy cups, bottles, pretzels, crackers, pull ups and helping little ones in the bathroom, pancakes with sprinkles, making heart shaped waffles, cold coffee,  Duplos and Nerf bullets and Matchbox cars underfoot...it's old hat.  Familiar territory, in my groove.  

Rhys still wakes up in the night, last night twice.  The first time I changed her diaper, gave her a bottle, cuddled her a little, and put her back to bed.  Since I'm old, when I climbed so gratefully back into my warm bed, all comfy with the flannel sheets, I was WIDE AWAKE.  Wide awake when you're old means:  you feel every ache and pain.  You can't find a position that's fully pain free, on one side the hip aches, on the other the arm falls asleep, on the back, snoring!  You try, and try again, and you think about things, and you pray for your kids and their kids and your friends, and you wonder if your first grade teacher can possibly still be alive, and if the stock market is REALLY going to crash in a matter of days, and how could the Murdaugh guy actually do something so horrible.  

The second time she woke up, out of bed I got, and of all the things in this world, why is it so hard to be wakened from a sound sleep, jarred from dreamland?  Getting up, feet onto the cold floor, but...I gathered another diaper, got the milk ready....but she was quiet...hmm....should I go back to bed? Will I just be awakened again in five minutes?  Oh, that bed, yes, back to bed.  I woke up at seven-twenty and she was still asleep!  

I did think to myself, I'm too old for this!  Then I thought, nonsense.  I'm just a complainer. It's FINE.  But shh, it IS hard when you can't fall back to sleep!  The flip side is:  I can totally commiserate with tired new moms, like Kathryn. 

It's hard to miss pool days.  It's hard to claim those times, because when I'm asked to help, I want to help. Finding the balance, and hanging on to my pool times is challenging, but I'm going to work on it. It's not a WANT, it's a NEED.  It helps that I totally enjoy it.

I have chicken breast in the refrigerator, and a bag of stuffing the pantry...I'm thinking to season and roast the chicken on top of stuffing, and serve with veggies...or, I have more cauliflower rice, I could make Asian chicken...hmmm.  wow, I almost feel like I could take a nap....

Anne, I love love love your nursing posts!  I'm going back to read them again.  I am not a nurse, but four of the kids are nurses (well, one an NP), and one almost done with nursing school, oh I've heard the stories, and know how very difficult it is:  understaffed, terrible patient ratios, no lunch breaks, overworked.  I plan to share them with Miss Sonja, my nursing student daughter, when she's a bit more relaxed...she's studying, again, for a big test, again...she got a 92 on the last one, she's doing well, but it's hard. I cannot tell you how touched I am that you thought of her!  Thank you.

only twenty....

 ....that's not all of us, but that's how many were here yesterday for dinner....a nice big crockpot full of homemade meatballs, pasta, Italian bread and butter, celery and carrots, and before dinner cheese, crackers, and pepperoni.  

Up with the sun...why, oh why, is it so hard to get up when I have to get up, but Saturdays and Sundays I'm wide awake when I could sleep in?

This fine morning, I went to the pool, then home...Kathryn texted, she wanted to get out of the house, as today is her due date, and well, you need to keep busy.  I behaved myself and didn't embarrass her, I almost told half the people in the stores today that it's her due date...but I didn't.  

Old Navy has a Bouncy Ball machine, only 25 cents.  

We went to Target, for coffee filters and seltzer, chicken breast, and this:

Isn't that too cute?  It's for Ruth!  Kathryn bought one for Rhys too, I should get one for Ophelia, but she probably has so many from Lydia...I do love shopping for the grandkids.  When Kathryn's baby is born, we will have 12, an even dozen...six boys, six girls...then THREE MORE are due in August and September, so we'll have fifteen!  

Anyway...we went to Aldi, for strawberries, red potatoes, cabbage, carrots, eggs, cream, tortilla chips...then I ran into Tops because the burger was on sale...I also got two small steaks for dinner tonight, buy one get one free....

I really really really want to go to the fabric store...I just haven't managed to get there, and I have a spiffy sewing machine.  Problem is, I have to set it up on the kitchen table, and it's a pain to put it all back away when people (grandkids) come over...but hmmm...maybe they'll just look at it and leave it...maybe I'll just get it out...

Did you know:

1.  I never get bored.  There is always something to do.  I also love to be home alone.  

2.  The other day I realized that I'm 57, not 56.

3.  I love and admire organization, but don't seem to be very capable of keeping things organized.

4.  Cleaning the kitchen as I go is the ONLY way, I cannot cook or bake in a messy kitchen.

5.  I'm getting the itch to clean things out again, downsize, get rid of more things.

6.  The Queen of Procrastination, that's me!  When I finally accomplish something I've put off for ages, oh it's nice, phew.  Phone calls are high on the Put It Off list.

7.  Steak, beef, burger:  better than chicken or pork, but bacon is #1, bacon and eggs is one of the best meals.

8.  Chocolate is a necessity.  I can cut back, and I can skip days, but sometimes I need chocolate. I'm already excited for the Norwegian chocolate that Charlotte Claire will be bringing home from Norway.

9.  We have three guitars in our living room.

10. Toys, toys, toys...I do love toys.

11. A perfect day:

      a.  Rain....dark, wild rain, windy, a good book, hot coffee, no one else home (as long as we're dreaming, the house would be spotless, and I'd have a platter of strawberries, chocolate, low carb cookies, and a steak)

     b.  the beach, 80 degrees and sunny, with a slight breeze, with warm wavy water to dip in every half hour.

      c. The whole family over on a summer day...burgers, hot dogs on the grill, a watermelon...

      d.  wineries with the older girls

      

I am overdue for some time spent with my sister...we used to go shopping together all the time...

Sometimes when I should be sleeping, I think about things.  I should just get my laptop out in the night and write down my thoughts.  Thing is, when you're almost sixty, most of your life is behind you, so you realize that the things on your some day agenda might not actually happen.  You wonder how you lost touch with your brother.   I have a Best Friend with whom I've lost touch...I cannot even believe it happened. She moved in with her father before Covid hit, to take care of him, so I rarely saw her...we were friends since middle school...all these years, all the kids (she has 12!), then Covid happened, and she seriously locked down, no ifs-ands-or buts about it, so I didn't see her for a few years!  Now...I don't know...she stopped coming to church, I've texted her a few times here and there,  then ran into her at Aldi, saw her at Christmas... but how does this happen?  

Today is also the 14th anniversary of my brother's death.  I cannot believe it's been so long.  Melancholy.  It's an excellent word, but a horrible feeling.  Atrocious.  Shocking. Horrific.  Mind-numbing.  That night seemed like hell visited earth for a while.  Paul and I had gone out shopping for flooring for our living room, and were headed home when my sister called.  She told me, "Billy shot himself.  He's dead."  She was also in shock, and there's no easy way to say those words.  They're pivotal words, life never goes back to how was before you heard them. 

We gathered there at my brother Tom's house, where Billy had been staying.  It was a chilly, windy night, and the police came.   Those lights flashing and flashing, Tom, who had found him, hugged me tight and said, "Jesus Christ, Billy, Jesus Christ." over and over again, just in shock.  The whole night, unbelievable.  why? why?  why?  We would have helped you Billy, we would have.  What was wrong?

(For clarity, he was smart, funny, clever, caring...he took care of our parents when they were sick.... He had been offered a nice position with the post office, and another with the county, as an electrician.  He had money, plenty of it.  When he died he had NO drugs OR alcohol in his system, but he did have very high levels of carbon monoxide, probably from the heater he was using in small space...whether that impaired his judgement, we'll never know)

In any case, it's still awful and sad and unbelievable.   I miss him terribly, and it doesn't really get better.  The days go by, and sometimes I forget about him for a bit, but every time I remember, it's just as bad.  That night, after I got home, the shaking and shivering wouldn't stop, I wasn't just cold, it was shock.  When I think about it too much, I start shaking again, right now I am freezing. 

(Those morons up in Canada with their assisted suicide laws...don't even get me started.  People need HOPE, and HELP)

Anyway.  Sorry to turn this post into a real downer.  You know my life is a good one, and I am actually very thankful and happy, but there are thorns, and this is one of them, my brother Billy.  

Off I go now, to warm up, and make some dinner...

....splashy-splash!

When my kids were little, a bath was splashy-splash.   As in, splashy-splash, who wants to go splashy splash?!   

Random. I went splashy-splash, to the pool this morning for water aerobics, and wowza it felt nice.  A nice hot shower afterward, washed my hair in the nice "town" water, makes my hair so soft and silky, compared to our hard well water (we do have a softening system with salt pellets, ect). 

Before the pool, I had to drive Miss Char to school, as she missed the bus.  It was mostly my fault because she was making a coffee to bring with her, and the bus came early.  She was abandoning the all-done coffee that just needed cream and the lid, I insisted I had time to get it put together, then the bus drove away...oops.  So into the car we went, school is only five miles away.   

Home,  no time to relax,  Camille and Sonja came along up to the medical center to have Cam's pre-surgery testing, a chest x-ray and bloodwork.  Then, Aldi...then the thrift store.  I behaved and didn't buy all the toys, but shh, I did get a cool play-dough set with the pumper thingy.  I got a nice shirt, and the girls found a few nice things too.  Then, Wendy's...fast food is so good.  I got the apple pecan salad, with no crumbled cheese, and extra pecans. I don't eat the dressing on it, just chicken, apples, craisins, and pecans....it was a solid 9.5, really enjoyed it.  

Then, Target...one little gift for Molly Rose, her birthday is next week.  A new kitchen rug for in front of the sink, a cute spring throw pillow I need like a hole in the head, as my mother would say, and some Hershey Kisses, which I also need like a hole in the head.  

Home....ah, home...put away the groceries, and plan the dinner...we were going to have Tiki Marsala...the jars of sauce from Aldi taste as good as from scratch, in our humble opinions, but I just wasn't feeling it tonight...so I'm going to take that chicken breast, roll it in some flour, then an egg mixture with a splash of hot sauce in it, a bit more flour, then browned up in olive oil...on top of a nice salad, with tomatoes, spinach, red onion, ect.  (I know, almost what I had for lunch!)

We're getting some bad weather this evening...rain, snow, sleet, more snow...all depending on the temperature, but at least four inches of new snow...but it doesn't seem so threatening, the season is winding down...

So much is going on in the next few weeks...Kathryn is due in a few days, I'll have her little ones when she goes to the hospital, then I'll have Wulf and Tennyson next Wednesday through Friday, when Margaret goes to Norway with Char, and Adrian has class...they are just going to move in here for a few days, as his classes start before the sun comes up in the morning.  If Kathryn has baby during those days, I'll be a busy grandma.  

The following week, Camille has her pre-op appointment, then the surgery the next week, then I have my echocardiogram and 3 day halter monitor the next week.  

Oh, I need to remember to give Miss Char money (or a credit card, honestly) so she can bring home some Norwegian chocolate....

Ah well.....that chicken isn't going to make itself!  off I go....

oh yeah, cold coffee!

 Plans changed, and Margaret went to Buffalo for the new passport, instead of Washington, D.C.  

Yesterday, Kathryn came over with Achilles and Rhys.  Then Grace came with Grant and Ruth.  There was running, and there was noise, but there were hugs and smiles and plenty of laughing.  I order our dog chow from Walmart, partly because it's SO much easier to drag it into the door than it is to put it in the cart, lug it into the car, bring it in, ect., all for the same price...though I do feel kind of bad for the delivery people, 35 pound bags...but it comes in big nice boxes, for the grandkids to play in!  I put a few facing each other, drape a blanket over it, put some pillows and blankets inside, and they're happy...we have a little lantern, and a few flashlights, too.  

Anyway.  I made a nice chicken noodle stew yesterday, after dinner we headed to the pool.  Margaret and Adrian met us there with Wulf and Tennyson.  The water was cold, but we got used to it, they adjusted quickly and really had fun.  The showers were so nice and hot afterward, and we were all refreshed....Kathryn headed home, Grace headed home, but Margaret and Adrian brought their boys to our house, and settled them into bed...then left.  This fine morning, Margaret left bright and early to get her passport from Buffalo, Adrian had extremely early morning classes, and the boys woke up here...they slept in Camille's room.  Cam woke up to Wulf typing on her typewriter.  I tell you, there's nothing like small children, in the morning, in sweet warm jammies.  There's nothing like making pancakes with sprinkles for them.  Wulf helped, he cracked the egg, and mixed the batter.  Tenny just sat on the counter and tried to open the vanilla and get into the brown sugar.  

The day went by quickly as the house got messier.  Grandpa works in his office, our room, down the hall, and the boys visited him constantly. He loves them, and only had to shut the door a few times, when he had important calls.  Tennyson fell out of the toy shopping cart and banged his face, but other than that, nothing eventful.  No fights, no big messes, just the general toys-all-over thing.

Margaret came to get them a bit ago, the house is quiet again.  Paul is still working, Sonja is on a zoom call for school, and the girls are watching anime.  I have to wander into the kitchen and figure out what the heck to make for dinner.  Camille made peanut butter cookies today, I made my low-carb ones.  

Tomorrow, I'll go to my water aerobics class, then bring Camille to get bloodwork and chest x-ray, preparing for her upcoming knee surgery...we'll stop at Aldi too, as it's right across the street from her ortho-dr., and medical services building.  (she hates this fact, I love it).  

I think the girls are going to make a pizza for dinner, so I'll make something different for Paul and I, probably a few burgers.  There's such a dinner rut, but I'm trying to just be thankful for all that we have, and appreciate the meals, instead of always thinking there must be more variety, better meals. Paul and I are very low carb, he doesn't like pork AT ALL, then Sonja said she doesn't really like pork chops, Char either...so I backed off on making those.  We eat chicken, and ground beef, made different ways, mostly.  No one really likes meatloaf, so it's either burgers, taco salad, or meatballs.  With the chicken:  soup, stew, fajitas, pot pie, stir-fry, or battered fried chicken, usually Chinese food.  And, eggs for dinner, at least once a week.  In long ago days, I'd make scalloped potatoes, and such nice homemade Mac and cheese, but I won't eat those things unless I sub for cauliflower, except for a little taste.  

(I found a nice bag of individual bags of Asian cauliflower rice with ginger sauce and chopped peppers, Costco, cheap, and I LOVE it....)(Real rice is so yummy, but it drives up the blood sugar!)

We are picky and spoiled, that's all there is to it.  

Tonight I'll do some meal planning, so I won't feel so dilemma-ed.  

This afternoon has been a headache afternoon, I need to go take some ibuprofen.  I don't like taking stuff...but I'm super thankful that I have some, and have the option.  

We're getting more snow tomorrow afternoon, maybe a lot...but it's March, so...bring it!  Spring is just around the corner...well, here in NY state, several corners, as winter will keep coming back to visit, but somehow...it's losing it's scariness.  We're springing into more daylight soon, too...

  

gadding about...

 ...Yesterday, Miss Cam and I went out and about.  Target, where I had an order pick up, a $15 Target gift card if you spent $50 on certain home items.  The big package of store brand trash bags is $14.99, so two of those, which we buy anyway, may as well add in another twenty worth, and get the gift card.  I got lavender hand soap refill, and some Method Lime and Sea Salt cleaner (total splurge!!!), a few boxes of sandwich bags, napkins, and some floor cleaner. 

Of course we didn't just pick up the cleaning supplies, no, we had to walk around and see what we could see.  I bought some shoes for some grandkids, and an inflatable unicorn snow tube, knowing from experience that these are thick and strong, and last for years, in the pool, it was clearance from $20 to $6.  We got some seltzer, and some Easter chocolate (the Reese's were buy one get one 25% off, which isn't a great bargain, but...)

We went into Old Navy, Cam found jeans for $5, and picked out a few tank tops.  I found a winter coat for $2.97. 

Aldi, for the usuals...bananas, berries, coffee beans, cream, eggs, lime juice, a box of cereal, bread, tomatoes, onions...

We did NOT buy the Aldi coloring book, but Camille thought it was hysterically funny, all of your Aldi favorites to color. 

Home...ah,home.  Time to put everything away, then sit and put my feet up, but only for a small while, because Charlotte Claire needed a trip to the town clerk to get a certificate of residency notarized, for a college class.  What I didn't realize was:  she also has to have it signed by the COUNTY clerk, which is in the small city, 20 minutes away.  We googled their hours, open until five in the winter, so off we went, arriving at 4:45.  The clerks' office WAS open, but the financial officer leaves at...four.  At least we had a nice drive together, never mind the wasted gas.  I wanted to beat the snow...because we got quite a bit last evening, through this morning.  

School was delayed by two hours, Char was thankful for some extra sleep.  I fell back to sleep too, until 7:30, was nice.  Paul got up and ran the snowblower, cleared out the driveway because Sonja had to go in to class.  

It's snowing out now, big fluffy beautiful flakes.  We have to make yet another trip to the city this afternoon to get that paperwork taken care of.

Also this fine afternoon:  two grandchildren are coming over, with their pillows and blankets and pajamas!  Wulf and Tennyson are coming!  Margaret and Adrian are taking a quick trip down to Washington, D.C., 7 hours south of here, to get Margaret's passport renewed.  It expired without her realizing, and she's taking Miss Char on a trip to Norway next week for a sisters' conference!  All the plane tickets bought, and a cabin reserved, conference fees paid...she's tried to get an appointment in Buffalo, or Connecticut, Vermont, NYC, with no luck.  This is the first opening, tomorrow morning in D.C.  

Life is interesting, and I'm glad I can help with the boys, also excited to have them come over.  

I have a date with Grace to go to the pool tomorrow afternoon with Grant and Ruth, not sure how that'll work with Wulf and Tenny too...might be fun, might be a disaster, ha.  

Last night for dinner, I made taco meat, and cut up chicken breast, sprinkled with lime juice, and browned in olive oil with salt and pepper, for fajitas.   

It's staying light out for longer, I love/hate it.  Yes, partly hate, because I am a burrower, a hibernator, I like to be snowed in.  The darkness is cozy, comfortable. I also like driving on clear roads without the threat of a sudden white out, and wandering about the yard in bare feet.  So nice weather if joy, but I love wintertime too.

Ah well.  The news is interesting these days.  Prenatal deaths are at a record high in Singapore, a leading epidemiologist from Hong Kong, along with others, have determined that China released Covid on purpose, from a lab in Wuhan.  Murdaugh seems guilty:  even if someone else magically appeared down near those kennels and killed his wife and son, he testified that his dogs didn't bark.  The time frame for that to have happened, not very likely, and given that he's lied about so many things, well. Studies are showing that masks helped:  not at all.  A new Sorli paper confirmed that the morality the vaccinated coronavirus-infected groups was 14.5% higher on average than the morality of the non-vaccinated corona-virus infected groups.  (after all that coercion!)  Biden is bumbling along, Kamala is still excited about YELLOW SCHOOL BUSES!, and in general, most politicians are still corrupt.  

In the midst of it all, there are still God fearing people living their lives, not letting it all bring them into anxiety, fighting their battles and resisting sin.