well. summer goes on.

And to answer the question about how I am doing, "weight wise", um. Well. Haven't lost any lately. Why, you might ask? Guess what? I am asking myself the same thing. And I do have some answers.

1. I eat things I shouldn't.

2. It is hard to get back that strict enthusiasm.

3. I like ice cream.

4. Ditto for chocolate.

Now, this whole thing isn't fair because I no longer eat bread. No buns on the burgers, no toast with jam. No bagels. No pasta. No cookies, either. No sugary drinks, no potato chips. A bite of chocolate here, a soft cone there, too much popcorn...and up a few pounds. Work hard, lose it again. I am still down 60 pounds, but I have a long way to go, and I am not going to get there at this rate. I wish I had bottled up that original enthusiasm, I could use a swig of it right about now.

In some ways, it was easier a few years ago. I just ate what I wanted to when I wanted to.

Now I have to think and deny myself and calculate and endure temptation.

I read a funny quote the other day, "It is hard being fat. It is hard losing weight. It is hard keeping the weight off. Pick your hard."

So to sum it up, "weight wise", it could be worse. It could be better. But. The most important thing: I have not given up. No way, no how. I am still walking, still swimming, still exercising. Still fighting the temptations. It is such a learning experience, really, and I am thankful for it. I have learned not to compare myself to anyone else. I can be tempted to be jealous of others' successes. I can find myself thinking NO FAIR when some skinny gal is chowing down on chips, when I myself would not dare to. There is a girl down the road who runs, flies right by me with her cute little shorts on. I want to run. My knees won't let me. Last time I tried, the clicking got really painful. But I CAN walk. Good for that girl who can fly by me. I don't hate her, not too much. This is MY battle, and I have enough to deal with just focusing on myself. So I try not to compare.....

Today, I am probably going to the grocery store, despite the gloriously wonderful cool and sunshine-y day. Tomorrow is supposed to be even nicer, and I have to go before the weekend. Oh, my next week is going to be so busy! Paul is leaving for Louisiana again on Sunday. He will get home on Friday night, our summer conference at church starts the next day. Before that conference begins, I have to pack for it, as we stay in the camper for those four or five days. I have to plan meals and shop. I also have to gather and pack up the dollhouse stuff for one of the children's day activities. Plus, I have to buy several hundred dollars' worth of candy. And probably drinks, and some other things. Yesterday Evelyn and I cleaned up the camper, then took a trip to the library. We all know that means I read a whole book between then and now, but that is another story.....

So today I will take probably Kathryn and Suzanne and Sonja and Jonathan and Charlotte Claire and Camille, and go out shopping. Evelyn and Mirielle are already out and about shopping for the girls' youth camping trip that's this weekend. Busy busy busy.