thursday.....

I made myself take that morning walk. Oh I like it well enough, once I get out there. But day after day, I don't want to leave the house. This fine morning, for example, I swept the floors first. I wiped off a few counters, and started in on the dishes. But, no, I told myself, I have to go for my walk before the kids get up.

It was lovely, my walk. It was misty and overcast. This morning, I thought about Ebola. Jonathan says that if that's how God wants to end the world, it's His business, and we can't worry about it. And, he says, can we please not talk about it in front of him, he'll have bad dreams. Charlotte Claire says that God knows what we need, and that we can't be afraid. Now, I have read Stephen King's, "The Stand", a few times. The newscasters were telling America how fine everything was, at gunpoint, courtesy of the U.S. Army. Now as the mother of sixteen children, of course I worry. Four of my kids are nurses. I am not losing sleep because of intense fear, but believe me, it does cross my mind to be concerned for their safety because of how contagious Ebola is. I don't know how events will unfold, but it seems to me that this disease is underestimated. That Americans feel insulated and safe and far away from it. But anyway, I feel so so bad for the nurses and healthcare workers in Dallas. No one in their right mind can blame them. Can you imagine how many people show up in a busy emergency room each and every day with flu symptoms, fevers, not feeling well? It is not their fault if someone who later was tested positive for Ebola was overlooked, or not quarantined. If we have a Center For Disease Control, and they are doing their jobs, getting paid....they should have been educating nurses and health care workers for months now about how to keep themselves safe/treat patients/ect. There should be protocol in place!

That's my little rant. Being a mom sometimes though, I just can't stand it. I know in my heart that God is watching over my kids, and that He sends what's for their best. But I can't help loving them so, and sometimes I wish I simply didn't just love them so much. A little bit of indifference, you know, so I wouldn't ache just thinking of one of them suffering. It makes us human and vulnerable to love so deeply, but it also makes life scary.

This morning, we are working on our school work. Division and measurements and book reports. The two older girls mostly work on their own, with me just helping by buying them text books and taking them to the library.

And well, one of my little girls is having a little fit about something, so off I go....