pictures at last!!!

The internet is going so slow, just one picture today...our tree is being buried.

We are going to Uncle Bob's house in just a few hours now, then we will come home and have our family Christmas Eve celebration, which will include our Secret Santa presents to each other, and the Dundee awards from Aaron and Mali. And some good snacks, and ice cream. (We had some with Margaret's birthday the other night, but I haven't been buying it so that it will be more special).

Holly....I just opened up my comments and read Bonnie's, and I actually read it out loud to Mirielle because it was so sweet....then I read yours. And you are right, I was totally wrong about how long people have been on the earth. It is still a very long time compared to the time that antibiotics have been in use. And I totally apologize for the "Captain Obvious" remark. There was a comic in our newspaper featuring a character by that name, so it is a title we earn around here sometimes when we are...well, when we earn it. We also live in a lot of sarcasm here, and tend not to get so offended at comments and jabs. So I do forget that everyone doesn't appreciate it. I do remember what it was in reference to, (why I seemed more affected by Ben's leaving than the kids who went to Norway for a year....and since you don't know about our church, and what the A-Team is that they go to, it wouldn't actually be quite so obvious to you, but since to us the church is such a warm and caring and good environment, and the Army is so scary, since we know what happens to Combat Medics in places like Afghanistan, it seemed like a fitting response to me at the time.) As for the facebook request: I am a total facebook failure. I have like sixty friend requests, and I haven't gone through them in a while. Most are from high school acquaintances, and since I didn't even go to the Class Reunions, and I don't care too much about being friends with people I haven't talked to since 1983, I tend to skim over the requests. I honestly did not even see yours. So it was in no way a slight to you. Oh, and the Beer Date. I was on a Mother High that day, having Ben home, and when we stopped at the store Aaron worked at for pizza dough and cheese and a 12 pack of Labattes, I invited Aaron to join us for a Beer Date later. It was sort of just letting him know we would all be home later, and that fun times would be had. He does not like beer, but if he did, I would let him have one at home with the family. We are of the mind that if something is just used in moderation at home, then there is less or no desire to go and sneak it and abuse it. Hopefully no one thought we were all getting smashed while the little children fended for themselves. I had a half of one. I do like the taste, but do not get drunk. So...I think I covered everything.....one more thing though, I don't like controversy so much, don't like to fight or argue, and I am also aware that I get things wrong, and that I am too strong in my opinions sometimes, too quick to judge, too slow to hear and too quick to speak....I am a work in progress. But I do welcome your comments, Holly. I didn't publish the first one, and another one from a while ago because I tend to shy away from controversy....

And on a lighter note, the older kids were having a discussion this morning about how they always hate it on Christmas when they open something and Mom says, "Oh, did I give that to YOU? Oops, that is for your brother..." Mali says I gave her purse to Mirielle, and I know I mixed up the jama pants something awful one year. I told them this morning, "Well, you guys, here's the thing: I am not fit to be a mother of so many children. I simply cannot manage. Yet here we are, alive and well. And hopefully flexible!"

tomorrow is Christmas eve!!!

Am I excited? I sure am! Are the kids excited? Oh my goodness yes. We started our day early, since our mini van needs a new wheel bearing, and had to be in town at the garage by 9am. Okay, that is not too terribly early, but we did stay up awfully late last night. Four of my sister's girls were here, the living room was full of older kids and fun and chips and fooling around. We were also doing a bit of wedding planning. (we certainly do play Off On A Tangent well!)

When I was a little girl, we celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve. My father always worked on Christmas Day. He worked for the county, at the water pollution control plant, also know in it's pre-politically correct days as The Sewer Plant. If he worked on Christmas, he got over-time pay, and that was a big deal. So he worked on Christmas. We kids had to go to bed for a while, then my parents woke us up "after Santa came". Upstairs in our beds, my little brother and I would hear my older brothers making noises and saying Santa Claus was on the roof, my one brother always pretended he was going to shoot him with his B-B gun. We never actually went to sleep, then my mother would call up the stairs that he had come and left the presents, and down we would go....

Our Christmases were extremely extravagant compared to our regular lives. We each got a huge pile of presents, and we had yummy things to eat on Christmas eve, like mini pizzas and meatballs and kielbasa, and even Coke to drink. It was a true celebration....I think our parents liked to give us what they didn't have. My father was one of twelve children, and they were poor. Very poor. They were lucky if they got a book for Christmas. My mother had memories of getting a beautiful doll when she was little, but her mother died when she was still young, and I don't think her childhood was all that good. But she somehow knew how to make ours special. She had a gift- she was able to make us thankful without making us feel too guilty.

I need to go to Walmart today. Pictures I ordered are coming in today. So I will write out some Christmas cards, and some lucky people will get cards after Christmas. It is not the end of the world to get a card after Christmas, is it?

Tomorrow we go to my brother's house for our annual family Christmas gathering. He has ten children, three are married, and he has six grandchildren. My sister will be there with four of her seven, my brother who has twelve kids will be there with all of his, (two of his are married, one grandchild), my other brother and his son will be there, my brother with two kids doesn't come because his wife's relatives are in town, then of course Billy won't be there, which is a glaring hole in the evening, and a great sadness. It is also a night that magnifies the abscence of our parents. After they both passed, it seemed too sad to continue to go to Bob's house, but I realized somewhere along the line that I need my family all the more. Getting together and talking about the good old days, when we all fought over who got to wear my mother's boots out to play because they were the warmest, and the times Casey locked himself in the bathroom and how my father used to promise us a nickel to untie his boots....

So my brother is a saint who opens his home to us all each year. His wife, however, is the real saint of the pair. She never ever complains about having us all, year after year.

One thing I have been thinking about. It is difficult to be a mother sometimes. And when one has lots of children, it seems absolutely impossible just to get through the day at times. That is the truth. It isn't bad to admit that it is a hard job, and it isn't bad to ask for help. It IS bad to compare yourself with The Mom Who Always Does Everything Perfectly, however, whomever she may be. I have always so appreciated the help given by others, by my mother, by older kids, by my sister and sister-in-laws.....just the little things that lighten the load, like taking the younger ones to the bathroom, or holding a baby for me.

I was driving yesterday, thinking about the years and years I spent being so exhausted, day in, day out. And it IS NOT EASY. We need all the help and encouragment we can get. My days of craziness are easing, so I hope to keep in mind how things actually were during those days so I can be merciful and helpful to others.

It is snowing again, and Kathryn is still feeling lousy, Ben is sick, Mirielle and Marg are going to the gym, Paul is home...and I have things to do....in case I don't get write tomorrow,

Merry Christmas!!!!!

quiet evening at home, HA.

Ben and Ashley are here, along with Ben's friend Caleb, who is helping Ben remodel his room so that Ashley will have a nice place to stay, as she is moving in with us when Benjamin returns to the U.S. Army. Ashley is sitting on the floor playing HiHoCherry-O with three of the kids, they already put together a U.S map puzzle, and played Elefun.

We celebrated Margaret's birthday. Evelyn and Ashley made the cakes, I helped make the white fluffy buttercream frosting, then Evelyn and I frosted them...I put coconut on one....we had homemade chicken noodle soup and heart shaped biscuits, then had our cake. (Ben and Ashley and I, Sam, Margaret, Kathryn, Evelyn, Suzanne, Sonja, Jonathan, Charlotte Claire, and Camille)(Paul and the older ones are at the Dome)

Our afternoon WAS relaxing, actually. The livingroom was nice and picked up, we sat around and watched Margaret open her presents, then just talked and looked at the things the kids got at their class parties. Camille fell asleep on my lap, giving me a good excuse to have a nice long rest. Kathryn feels lousy, the infection in her ear has gotten quite bad. She has a slight fever. The antibiotics have helped a little, but she can't really eat much, and she just wants to sleep. So she was cuddled up on the couch while I rested in my chair with Camille. We didn't turn on the television, just had the tree and the window lights on....

It is also a nice evening here....the Christmas lights are on, the television is off....the kids are playing with Ashley...but Rosie wants to play...she keeps bringing me Barbies. She is a great big huge puppy, who wants all the attention.

Aaron just got home from work. Yay, I saved him some dinner!

After Kathryn's appointment today, we went to get a last Secret Santa gift. Quickly, because she didn't feel well. Then I stopped at a local dairy store for some good ice cream, then home...ah, home. I have been going too many places too many days.

I have all my wrapping done, all the shopping done...except for the wedding. We have things to plan still...and then things to buy. But hopefully that can be done on the day after Christmas.

Kathryn's ear....oh my goodness, frustration! Her gland on her face in front of her ear is huge, she had green stuff coming out of her ear, but the Nurse Practioner didn't prescribe anything the other day because the ear drum looked okay. She had a fever this morning, and the swelling was worse, the green stuff still coming...I decided to take her in again. This time the N.P. said there were more symptoms than the other day, so prescribed two antibiotics, one oral and one for the ear. She is in rough shape, and I wish the N.P had just given her something the other day...rrr. Another $70 bucks, and another trip to the small city....and she had to miss more school.

I told Miss Kathryn just to be thankful that we live NOW and not before 1944, or she would just have to live in misery, or else get an infection so bad it would literally kill her. Isn't it just crazy that antibiotics have only been used for 66 years? People have lived on earth for a few million years. 66 years is a drop in the bucket. For all those years, children have died from the things we just bring them in and get Zithromax for. Anyway, we have much to be thankful for and nothing to grumble about......

i'm dreaming of a white Christmas...

with every Christmas card I didn't write.....no cards this year, not even one...I ordered some pictures from Walmart, and thought they would be done by now, but they're not. I suppose there is a price to pay for proctastination.

It WILL be a white Christmas here in rural central New York, however. The temperature won't be rising above freezing for at least the next week. We are supposed to get a bit more snow today, and another few inches tonight. It's nice when it keeps coming, because it covers the dirty snowbanks over and over again. Last evening, on the way home from shopping, the Christmas lights looked so bright and sparkly in the snow....

This has definitely been the right year to invest in boots. Not that it has killed me to wear shoes in the snow.....

I think I am done with my Christmas shopping. I should just write on here what I got everyone, then I would find out if the kids read this or not. I did get Joseph something last night, and something for my Secret Santa, too. I also bought two pretty dresses for Charlotte Claire and Camille for Ben and Ashley's wedding. They are flower girls, so they need to have pretty dresses.

I am taking Miss Kathryn back to the doctor today for her ear this morning. I have to pick up a present for Sam's Secret Santa. Then I am done. Really and truly done. The other day in the store, a lady said to me, "I keep forgetting we have to eat before Christmas, too." I have this good stuff in the 'fridge and freezer that they can't have until Christmas....like pizza rolls and mozzarella sticks and toaster pasteries and hummus and of course the ham. I bought the ingredients for Jerk Chicken yesterday....I shall make up the marinade this afternoon and start the chicken in it for Christmas day....

Yesterday's shopping trip was interesting. We left the house after school, around 3:30..."we" being Joseph 19, Aaron 18, Mali 16 1/2, Sam 15, and Margaret 14 (today!)....(five kids in a row...) Anyway, we stopped at DunkinDonuts for some coffee, then to Target. My sister Cheryl was in there with Becky, Claire, Janet, and Audrey. Now, that was fun. They girls waited for their mom in the snack area, so when I finished, I sat with them. I let my spoiled bratty five kids get slushies and a popcorn. Then my kids left me there and went to the mall with the van, so I could go to the grocery store. Cheryl only needed a few things, so she and her girls left, and I finished up...I finally called Aaron and asked where the heck they were....he couldn't find Joe, Mali, and Sam, so he and Margaret came and got me...it took forever and a day to get through the line with all the good stuff I was getting, and the kids at the mall had no cell phones. They did not even know that Aaron was leaving, but when they went out and found the van gone they figured it out. We went back to the mall to get them, and they were standing on a huge rock in the middle of the entrance/exit roads, right in the middle of all the traffic, dancing and fooling around. We pulled up to get them, and when they opened the van doors, they bombarded us with snowballs for leaving them at the mall.

Then I took the spoiled brats to McDonalds to get one thing from the dollar menu...which turned into two things, which for Sam, turned into THREE things. rrr. But it was good fun.

I made the cashier in Target cry. I told her my son was picking his finance up from the airport last evening, and he was going to get down on his knee and give her the ring....and that he is getting married next week. She asked if he was in the military, and I told her he was in the middle of basic training for the Army. She said her son just finished boot camp for the Army, too. She thought I should go to the airport. She got all teary-eyed, and said she shouldn't talk about it anymore because she was just going to cry......she was very sweet, and I will choose her line next time even if it is longer.

The presents are stacked up two feet high in front of the tree. The living room is only moderately messy, but there are still groceries to put away. We got home after 9, and I tucked in Camille and hugged all the little kids and suffered the guilt of having spent the evening away from them. We got the cold stuff put away, and that was about it. I just get tired after such a busy day, and then I am a day late and a dollar short, and never ever caught up.....

Our entrance way in the dining room is horrible. There are boots and shoes and sneakers and the mitten/hat bin, and all the extra coats and jackets and sweaters that don't fit on the hooks are on top of a bin that holds canned goods....there is a stack of boxes of Bisquick, and some soda for the holidays. There are bottles of apple juice, and a stack of cereal that doesn't fit in the cupboard. I go over there every day, a few times even, and fix the shoes and boots and try to make it look neat. There is just too much stuff and not a place for it. Yesterday, Mali was saying she never wanted to be rich, and I said I wouldn't either, but I WOULD like a bigger house with a huge mudroom with shelves and hooks and bins....and a huge pantry for all the big boxes and tons of cans and jars and packages....(and of course an indoor pool...wouldn't that feel nice, in all this cold weather, being stuck in the house, just to swim in your own indoor pool?)

And if we were rich, I would turn the heat up so it would always be nice and warm in here, not just when supper or cookies were in the oven.

Anyway, enough with the "if I were rich"....time to be thankful for what I have and get moving....

one day 'til Margaret's birthday...

Margaret Cheryl....she is going to be 14 years old tomorrow.

When Margaret was born, my oldest, Emily Anne, was eleven years old, almost 12. Abigail was ten, Benjamin was eight, Mirielle was six, Joseph was five, Aaron was four, Mali was two, and Samuel was sixteen months.

Margaret is our ninth child. When she was born, she started the More Girls trend, as it was a tie, four boys - four girls before she came. Little did I know at the time, but she was the first girl in the Five Girls In A Row in Five Years. (I have often thought it is a good thing we don't know what the future holds...I got through those years one day at a time, but if you had told me THEN what was coming...)

Margaret's birth was such a good one. It was when I discovered the Stop and Wait phase of labor and delivery. My contractions totally stopped when I was fully dilated, but the dr. was patient, and let me rest with no pressure to get on with things.....when the contractions resumed, she was born within minutes....she was 8 pounds seven ounces. She was born at 3:17 in the afternoon, right while the Christmas feast was going on at church. She was a beautiful little girl, with lots of hair right from the start. We left the hospital on the morning of Christmas Eve. (as I have written here before, yes, I did go to my brother's house for our big annual get-together with a two day old baby and all the kids while Paul stayed home with then six year old Mirielle who started throwing up that day.)

Anyway, I have always felt bad for Margaret in the birthday department. She does get shortchanged. I have gotten her some gifts, but it is such a hard time to have a birthday party, and there have been years in which I have owed her a party for.....well, months.

Tonight, Ashley comes home and they get officially engaged! I need to find that camera cord, or I am just going to go buy myself another camera. This is killing me.

I think I am done wrapping presents now. Well, when I finish shopping I will be totally done, but I am finished with what I have. I still need that ever elusive Secret Santa gift, and I have remembered that I haven't gotten much for Joseph. (he read my List when we were wrapping that one day, and said, "Axe? Good, you got me an axe!" Of course he knows I mean the body spray/deodorant stuff, but he would rather have a real axe.) Sorry to say, but besides a really cool thing that I can't write here because I don't know if he reads this, I haven't gotten him anything else. oops. It is torture to be a mom of sixteen kids and have little to no organizational skills. I have lost my list, I wasn't updating it so much anyway, so I have no idea who is getting what. Well, as always, I have a FOGGY idea. I told Suze and Sonja the old Christmas Lecture yesterday...it goes like this, "Kids....Mommy doesn't always remember things. When I wrap presents it is sometimes crazy in here. And I can't remember what is for whom. So, if YOU get ten presents and your sister gets three, share with her, okay?" Suze answered, "I know, I know, and if I get two of the same things, I will give one to Sonja..." So it's all good.

I impulse shopped yesterday. After Kathryn's appointment, we went to BJ's. The already started marking down the toys, and I love toys, so....I couldn't resist...I got Camille and Charlotte Claire a set of princess high heels, $8.50 for five pairs. Camille saw them and wanted them, and knows I bought them. They are getting too much this year, the little girls. I got them princess baby dolls, and the set of seven princess Barbie dolls to share, and they are each getting a different doll that I got last summer for really cheap.

I sincerely hope I haven't been too disproportionate in my gift giving. But I don't think they will be bruised for life if I have. I tell them Life isn't Fair, which is a good way of getting out of having to be fair all of the time...and it is true! I like to say, "Can't you be happy when your sister/brother gets something?"

Jealousy does run deep. And when one has sixteen children, it is most challenging to give them all attention. Camille is smart, she just grabs it. Some of the older ones just naturally get more because of their out-going-ness, or perhaps talking back or slamming doors...I am realizing that as much as I might like to go to college or nursing school, right now I have my hands full enough, just raising these guys. It doesn't consist of just putting food on the table and washing the towels, it is serious stuff. I love them all, but that is easy to say. To actually love each of them as they are, and show it, and listen to them, and let go of my demands on them, that is more difficult. It is a constant work. One thing I remember about my mother is that she was THERE for me. When I got home from school, she was always there wanting to hear about my day.

The windshield of the minivan has a crack in it that is growing bigger. I need to call the insurance company, and get it taken care of. Kathryn's ear is still bothering her, I will spare the details, but the new nurse practioner that we saw didn't notice the huge lump in front of her ear, which I think is a swollen gland....and I didn't know about it until after we left, when Kathryn tried to give my her five dollars because she was sorry I made her take her to the doctor for nothing (she saw the $70 invoice)....of course I didn't take it, and told her when one has green stuff in one's ear, taking one to the dr. is NOT for NOTHING....anyway, I need to call again.....

I am also babysitting for four-year old Timmy today. He is our friends' youngest. They have eight children. Timmy's dad is a cancer survivor, esophogeal cancer, which is brutal. Their family has gone through so much, and they have the most wonderful kids. The boys are rather wild, they have only two girls, but they are good friend with my kids. I think my two little girls are going to like having Timmy here again. I told Charlotte Claire he was coming, and she said, "Oh, I have to take care of TWO little kids...." All this time I thought that I was the one who took care of Camille....she said it is okay though, she WANTS to babysit Timmy...

what will this day bring?

Kathryn needs to see the dr., I will spare the details in case anyone is drinking their morning coffee, but she has ear issues....a nice infection, to say the least. She couldn't sleep last night.

There is shopping to be done...we are almost out of instant coffee, because my older kids like to drink it too.

I am feeling a little panic-y because the wedding date is approaching, and Christmas is coming....a I prepared? ha.

Yesterday we had our Christmas celebration at church. The youth kids pick names of the younger kids to buy gifts for. The older kids do this, and it is so sweet to see the line up in the front and call the names of the little ones. Then the little ones go find the one who gave them the gift and thank them...it is really something to experience. These older ones just give so much. Of course they get blessed much more in return.....

So everything is so good...then there is ME. Me with all my thoughts and feelings and incapabilities and temptations. There is much to work on, that's for sure. Sometimes I get tempted to get sick and tired of everything....the work and the work and the dealing with things and the appointments......but today is the day of salvation. I needn't worry about tomorrow, or regret yesterday. And if today is too much, then I shall just work at NOW. Even a day can seem daunting sometimes. And so much of what I think I NEED to do is just pride.

Then of course are the things I really need to do, like that laundry that is ever growing. One of thing things I notice that bothers me is that no matter how much I do around here, I never seem to do enough. I mean, it isn't like the other people around here are walking around in awe...no, they just see the stuff I didn't get to yet. Even if I work extra hard and do more work than they do messing, and come out ahead and it looks almost nice in here, there are still things that don't get done. It also makes me feel like the chinchilla on a treadmill......I like a clean house, but cleaning it over and over and over again just bores me. wah, poor poor me......

Col. 3, v.23, "And whatever you do, do your work heartily, as unto the Lord, and not to men."....that verse is my help. After all these years, I still find the grumbling, but I am working on it.

It is snowing out. This has officially been the snowiest December on record for Central New York. We have gotten over 70 inches. And that was by the 18th of the month. It is a good year to have gotten myself a pair of boots. And my red slippers. I have not lost them yet, because I put them on when I get out of bed and wear them all day. I shuffle around in my red slippers like an old lady.

Well, my coffee cup is empty, and I need to call the dr. for Kathryn....

six days 'til Christmas....

And am I ready yet? ha. I still haven't gotten my Secret Santa gift. I have to help Camille wrap hers, and now we will also have a special girl here for Christmas: Ashley is coming back from Florida on Tuesday instead of next Sunday!

Benjamin is out shopping for the ring right now with his sister Mali and his cousin Claire. He is going to paint and recarpet his room because after he goes back to the Army, his wife will be living here with us. Why not? We love her dearly, and couldn't imagine her living all alone while he is so far away. They probably won't be together again until June or so. So she will need some comfort and distraction.

Abigail just came in the door with Suzanne, Sonja, and Jonathan, whom were shopping with her. She is such a nice sister! They are hungry now, we finished dinner already...I shall go and see what they can have....