tomorrow is Christmas eve!!!

Am I excited? I sure am! Are the kids excited? Oh my goodness yes. We started our day early, since our mini van needs a new wheel bearing, and had to be in town at the garage by 9am. Okay, that is not too terribly early, but we did stay up awfully late last night. Four of my sister's girls were here, the living room was full of older kids and fun and chips and fooling around. We were also doing a bit of wedding planning. (we certainly do play Off On A Tangent well!)

When I was a little girl, we celebrated Christmas on Christmas Eve. My father always worked on Christmas Day. He worked for the county, at the water pollution control plant, also know in it's pre-politically correct days as The Sewer Plant. If he worked on Christmas, he got over-time pay, and that was a big deal. So he worked on Christmas. We kids had to go to bed for a while, then my parents woke us up "after Santa came". Upstairs in our beds, my little brother and I would hear my older brothers making noises and saying Santa Claus was on the roof, my one brother always pretended he was going to shoot him with his B-B gun. We never actually went to sleep, then my mother would call up the stairs that he had come and left the presents, and down we would go....

Our Christmases were extremely extravagant compared to our regular lives. We each got a huge pile of presents, and we had yummy things to eat on Christmas eve, like mini pizzas and meatballs and kielbasa, and even Coke to drink. It was a true celebration....I think our parents liked to give us what they didn't have. My father was one of twelve children, and they were poor. Very poor. They were lucky if they got a book for Christmas. My mother had memories of getting a beautiful doll when she was little, but her mother died when she was still young, and I don't think her childhood was all that good. But she somehow knew how to make ours special. She had a gift- she was able to make us thankful without making us feel too guilty.

I need to go to Walmart today. Pictures I ordered are coming in today. So I will write out some Christmas cards, and some lucky people will get cards after Christmas. It is not the end of the world to get a card after Christmas, is it?

Tomorrow we go to my brother's house for our annual family Christmas gathering. He has ten children, three are married, and he has six grandchildren. My sister will be there with four of her seven, my brother who has twelve kids will be there with all of his, (two of his are married, one grandchild), my other brother and his son will be there, my brother with two kids doesn't come because his wife's relatives are in town, then of course Billy won't be there, which is a glaring hole in the evening, and a great sadness. It is also a night that magnifies the abscence of our parents. After they both passed, it seemed too sad to continue to go to Bob's house, but I realized somewhere along the line that I need my family all the more. Getting together and talking about the good old days, when we all fought over who got to wear my mother's boots out to play because they were the warmest, and the times Casey locked himself in the bathroom and how my father used to promise us a nickel to untie his boots....

So my brother is a saint who opens his home to us all each year. His wife, however, is the real saint of the pair. She never ever complains about having us all, year after year.

One thing I have been thinking about. It is difficult to be a mother sometimes. And when one has lots of children, it seems absolutely impossible just to get through the day at times. That is the truth. It isn't bad to admit that it is a hard job, and it isn't bad to ask for help. It IS bad to compare yourself with The Mom Who Always Does Everything Perfectly, however, whomever she may be. I have always so appreciated the help given by others, by my mother, by older kids, by my sister and sister-in-laws.....just the little things that lighten the load, like taking the younger ones to the bathroom, or holding a baby for me.

I was driving yesterday, thinking about the years and years I spent being so exhausted, day in, day out. And it IS NOT EASY. We need all the help and encouragment we can get. My days of craziness are easing, so I hope to keep in mind how things actually were during those days so I can be merciful and helpful to others.

It is snowing again, and Kathryn is still feeling lousy, Ben is sick, Mirielle and Marg are going to the gym, Paul is home...and I have things to do....in case I don't get write tomorrow,

Merry Christmas!!!!!