summer 2011

summer 2011

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

three words that describe, the mom

The question posted on the larger families board: What 3 qualities do you want to describe you as a mother, how do you want to be know, or remembered.....

Sometimes when people find out how many kids I have, they assume I am :organized, and patient. I am by nature neither. Sure, I would like to be organized, in fact I give it a try almost daily. I can't quite figure out how I go wrong. I think it's always being rushed, so I just put things where they don't exactly go, thinking I'll sort it out later... The next attribute is much more important, patience. It is basically the foundation of motherhood. From the moment they're born, we need patience. Ever try to get a newborn tucked in bed so you can take a shower or just go pee? Then the stage where you know they understand you, but just aren't programmed to be anywhere near the listening to you stage? When they discover that cereal boxes turned upside-down are really fun, and yummy too? Wipes and tissues are to be emptied, bookshelves too. Coffee tables cleared, shoes stomped around in and lost....Then comes potty-training.....and when they want to put their OWN shoes, clothes, coats on, and the baby is screaming, and you're already late, again...well, you get the idea. Patience is a necessity, and I pray daily for more.... wow, Charlotte Claire, 22 months old, just took off all of her clothes and peed on the floor.....I think teenagers require quite a bit of patience, too.

So I want to be a patient mom. And non-judgemental. I have many friends with many kids, and we all do things different. Some have messier houses, and some cleaner...I need to give others freedom, and my children can learn from that example. So, patient and non-judgemental. And loving, of course. Sometimes I wish just loving them so much could make their problems disapear. I hug them and squeeze them, and feel so helpless. I'd like to keep them right here with me, warm and safe. I guess I don't have to work on that one. And fun, that isn't a problem here. I really don't feel I have ever grown up, so I love to have fun. When they set up dollhouse stuff all over the living room, I just want to play too....I was raised by a mother who never got bored, her motto was not to do what you like, but to like what you do. So driving the van, going to appointments, shopping, whatever errand I do with the kids, I enjoy. Or should I say I make myself enjoy it, try to get them to appreciate each moment, not just get through the afternoon.

So, a patient, non-judgmental, loving, fun mom. A mom who can stop and smell the roses, even if it means being late....

Honestly, the responsibility that comes with this job is overwhelming sometimes. But in the end, it won't matter how clean I kept things, or if we ate off unmatching dishes at unmatching tables (one is oval, and one rectangular, stuck together, with mismatching chairs), or if they grew up being excited about matching socks. The hardest reality is that it isn't what I say, or what I would like to be, but what I do and what I am that they see. I certainly don't have to be perfect, but fair, just, forgiving, patient and merciful. THAT is quite a responsibility, because I am not those things by nature. So each day, I pray. And each day, God answers.


Cassandra-ann said...

Hi, i have been reading your blog for a while now and just have to say that i love it,I only have 6 children so you are an inspiration to me, your words stay with me throughout the day and remind me to just enjoy my children just that little bit more...

Thanks and keep up the great blogging

cheryl said...

Well said, I started to cry! Life passes so quickly, and children grow up so fast (no fair)! But when they turn into wonderful young adults, that's an added bonus, and blessing! And I find that I can learn something about myself everyday. I can't turn back that clock, but I can look forward, increasing in faith and hope! PS Cassandra.. never say that you "only" have 6 children! I know what you mean, compared to Della's 16, but it's no small feat, still. I'm also encouraged to enjoy!

Jen said...

HI. Found your blog via Love the post!

mommeeof9 said...

Socks match? Only when they first come out of the packages at my house.

My older kids wash and dry the laundry. I sort the clean clothes into 4 baskets. Girls, boys, mom and dad and linens/towels. All the clean socks belonging to each basket get thrown in there. The owners can match them or wear them mismatched. The only exception is hubby. I match his socks for him, as I wear them, too. It's much easier than finding my socks that a child has borrowed again