ahh, warmth....

Today's forecast calls for temperatures in the 90's, again. It will be the 19th day this summer here in central New York state for this. It is a warm nice summer. Sunny days follow sunny days. The pool is warm, our outdoor gym is warm...

Anyways, if you wake up in the morning, mosey out to the kitchen, and there is an upside-down bowl on the floor, should you pick it up? I did. Surprise! There was a giant grasshopper under it. I live in a house filled with girls, so I can only imagine what what down after I went to bed last night. I know they made brownies, because I smelled them as I drifted off to sleep, and because there are three wrapped up on the counter with a note that says, "for Jon, Charlotte, and Camille." That also tells me that Sonja K. was still up, or they would have saved one for her, too. Anyway, that grasshopper...I can just see Kap or Suze flipping out and not wanting to kill it, so they just put a bowl over it.

As I walked down the road this morning through the cool woods, I thought about having pets. I love/hate it. I hate the responsibility, and the way I care so much about them. This morning, I checked on the kittens, and Mama Kitty had moved one of them into a little drawer in the closet, which tells me she is feeling they need more darkness, or more solitude. So I moved a large cardboard box we had prepared, into the closet, moved her and the kittens into it. She seems okay with it, but now I am worried she will move them again. I also keep an eye on her when she goes outside, because what if she gets hit by a car or stays out too long and they get too hungry? Then there is puppy. She seems to prefer pooping in the house to pooping outside. rrr. At least she poops and pees in the same place in the house, on newspapers or in the general vicinity. but, blah!

I took Suri to the vet yesterday, and ca-ching! But she has had lots of puppy shots now, and has had her rabies vaccine, and heartworm medicine and flea stuff. She gained 8 pounds in the last three weeks!

Mali and I spent several hours together yesterday. She is staying in a dorm this year for nursing college. She needed a few things, like new towels and those plastic things that raise the bed up so more things can fit under it. So we went Wal-marting. Things jump into my cart at Walmart. But I needed cat food and a few school supplies...$77.77 later, off we went. I did say to Mali when the cashier said the total, "I TOLD you it was going to be seventy seven seventy seven!".

Anyway. After that we went to Panera Bread for lunch. I love the summer salad there, with chicken breast and blueberries and mandarin oranges and strawberries over romaine. I skip the dressing and get the pineapple on the side (allergic), but Mali ate it. I had coffee, and a baguette, which is Off Limits to me, so I only ate one bite. ha. And another. dang, it was all gone before it knew it. The Bear Claw...this is what a Bear Claw is...a pastry with glaze and topped with sliced almonds, filled with cinnamon stuff. Perfectly delicious. Well, Mali and I shared it. I did give her my last piece, so I had one third and she had two thirds. But still. I shouldn't. Especially because this morning, my weekly weigh-in was a few pounds up from last week, wah. I have been going back and forth with these couple of pounds for a few weeks now. I know why, that's the thing. I haven't been radical enough. Way too hot to exercise. Swimming is fun, gets the blood moving, but doesn't seem to burn the calories for me that regular exercise does. Anyway, I have been having a little of this and that here and there, too, and I cannot, or I will not lose weight. So. re-committment, again. Nothing wrong with that, I guess. Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Life, as my mother used to say. As I walked this morning, I convinced myself to look at as a new beginning, today as my starting point.

I am my own cheerleader. I am past rejoicing about the sixty something pounds I have lost....now I just look at myself, and say, Dang, You have a long way to go! Here's the thing...I am getting older, and it gets harder to lose weight, so I feel the need to get this weight off sooner rather than later. And, I really really want to be able to move more, easier, and wear whatever the heck I want. I used to have this nightmare alot where I would be so fat I would have to go into a nursing home. It was horrible. I was being wheeled away, away from my family....to loneliness....knowing that Fun and Fellowship and Good Things were happening at home...and I would sit there in my wheelchair crying and sobbing and saying that I would lose weight and be able to walk again....then I would wake up, and vow to get in better shape, tomorrow. So. I AM in better shape, but not good enough yet.

We all know that bodily exercise profits little, however, compared to our spiritual battle.

And we all need more encouragement for that now and then.

Life is full of trials, great and small. They are tests of faith. And God never sends more than we can bear.

Although sometimes it feels like it.

That is when I need to pray my way through. And read my bible.

Having a lot of kids can be mentally exhausting sometimes. When they suffer, I suffer. I rejoice when they make good choices, and try not to get too upset when they don't. I want to see them happy, faithful to God, and of course self-reliant, self-supporting....I want them to be kind, to be giving and good and honest. They have free will, I cannot make them be how I want, I can only encourage and hope. Being a parent helps me see in part how it is for God toward His children. He wants us to trample sin beneath our feet, so we aren't slaves to it's bondage, so we can be free and happy...yet He doesn't make us do this...He leads and guides and sends what we need...

But today is a new day. I took some deep breaths on my walk this morning. I have asked God anew for grace today, for wisdom in dealing with all these kids. For patience with the teenagers who know everything, and with the little girls who only fight occasionally but when they do, watch out.

Anyway. When I am done writing this morning, I shall go to my outdoor gym and make myself exercise a bit.

Then there is so much shopping to do for the church grill. Mali helped me yesterday...we got Snapple and Gatorade and water. And more candy. We took it out to the church and unloaded it...Mali helps out so willingly, yet she doesn't go to the conferences because she doesn't go to the meetings because she doesn't want to. Breaks my heart, but it is her choice. I love her with all my heart, and know she is a kind girl, a good girl.

Uh-oh, I am sensing some procrastination here. It is quiet, and I enjoy sitting here...but I need to move it!