it ain't a popularity contest...

Being a mom, that is. Some things they hate me for, they will love me for later, right? Part of me likes to keep the peace, not say anything...but letting things go isn't always in their best interest. So I just have to be the meany sometimes.

But I believe with all my heart that God didn't just bless us with all these children and walk away. He gives wisdom to all who seek it. I know that it is possible to learn from Jesus, who was gentle and lowly of heart. Anyone can be strong and scary and say Don't You Dare Defy Me! But to be on the same side of the battle as the kids, rooting for them, fighting the same fight of faith, letting them know it isn't always easy for me either, but I am willing to be wrong, willing to apologize, having a decided mind that will never ever give up on them, or on me!

I say these things partly to encourage myself, partly to encourage you, whoever is reading this...because life as a parent is more than getting them to close the bread bag and bring those tea mugs out of their room and not eat all the cookie dough and stop walking around the kitchen eating tortilla chips. It is more than getting them to put the towels in the hamper and not slam the bathroom door and pick up their dirty socks and hang up their coat and and and. It is more than making sure they are well-fed, their homework is done, and they look modest and decent when they go out the door. It is more than remembering school projects and roller-skating money and snack days. It is more than doctor appointments and driving permits and getting new eyeglasses.

In all these details that make up life, we can get victory over our own sin! When I see my anger, my demands, my impatience...and just hate it! - Then God has me where He wants me! I have mercy on my kids who are afflicted with the same tendencies! (Colossions 3:21 says, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children, lest they become discouraged"....another translation says, "Parents, do not provoke your children, lest they lose heart.")

So let's just say that my mood, my spirit, really makes or breaks the way things go around here. It is challenging but I am very very thankful that God has given me such a good life. The laws of Moses didn't work....didn't help people get free from their sin. So Jesus came and made a way for us...and I am very thankful for that.

And I am done with my preaching now. Sometimes I feel that all my kids see is when I do get upset, and when I do put my foot down. I want them to like me, and I want their approval. I want to know I am doing a darned good job. As long as we're at it, I would like my husband to come home from work and instead of asking me if I did that one thing I forgot to do, like calling the insurance company about something or getting the heating oil filled, he would come in and say...You Have Done An Amazing Job Today, Dear. Good Dinner, Nice Clean House, And I Bet You Did Tons Of Laundry Today, Too. So instead of whining and feeling sorry for myself that this AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN, I will just continue on my way, knowing that seeking His praise is the most important thing, and I will not be put to shame.

About Paul...he really is kind to me. I don't want to make it like he isn't. He loves me muchly. And he isn't critical of me, or of the house when he gets home. But. He certainly isn't gushing about how spotless it is either. ha.

This coming Saturday is going to be a Fun Day, a Fun Night! Girls night out! Not just girls, really good friends! My dearest friends from church and I are spending the night at a hotel in the big city! Now, we have been through some busy years together, being moms. I added up the kids each of these moms has, and it totals 72...between 8 of us. (if our other friend was going, there would be 86, but she can't make it). So we won't run out of things to talk about! Aah, swimming, going in the hot tub, relaxing...I am so excited!

And today, I have to go pick up Suri, if the vet thinks she is ready to come home. She is a spunky little thing, so I think she will. Since I have other things to do than sit here and write, I shall get moving...ha. I am still not used to the expanses of quiet, the lengths of time where I get to DECIDE what to do next, unlike all those years of feeding a baby and changing diapers and chasing toddlers and washing dishes and sneaking into the bathroom in between it all....getting the baby to sleep, getting all other kids tucked in, doing laundry, baby waking up again, short nights and long busy days...but, you KNOW I would do it again. I miss the baby part, but not the busy part. I honestly don't know how I survived. And I am still reeling. And still enjoying this down-time. shh, Paul thinks I am pretty busy still.