Yet...yet...sometimes, I don't know, I just feel like hiding out somewhere and crying. I haven't felt so great in a few weeks, the pediatrician's office called yesterday to inform me that Camille's throat culture showed group a strep. Do I have it too? Do I feel like going to the dr. office today to find out? What if I have to step on the dreaded scale? Oh dang, I am gonna cry. I have tried so hard, avoided the yummy stuff, but still can't get off of this long arduous plateau, and can I even call it a plateau when it's clearly 20 pounds more than I was last year? Oh poor me. Yet, I know it's my fault. I could have exercised more, eaten less, skipped those popcorn nights...it all adds up, and each and every action has an equal and unpositive weight gain. I can't eat like I used to, and I don't. But I have also strayed from my strictness that helped me lose all the weight a few years ago.
Crying about it is useless, but don't mind if I do anyway.
This HAS been a long cold winter, and it seems like all I do is clean up the house and do the dishes and laundry and then do it all over again. But hey, there are treasures to be found in all these things, I just need to lift my vision....
Last evening, we had a really good time. We had corned beef and roasted red potatoes, boiled cabbage and carrots (I added some of the corned beef and lots of the juices to the boiling pot, it flavored the cabbage nicely). Mirielle made an awesome homemade chocolate cake, then let the little girls help frost it.
Camille and Charlotte Claire and Jonathan
Mirielle made the frosting and let them have at it....Miss Char.
Miss Camille had a turn...
They were pretty proud of themselves.I asked for a small slice, as the voice in my head screeched for me to not do it. I broke off a little piece, then gave the rest to Abigail. It was just too good,then it got passed out, and was gone, phew. I think I have to stop even having those tastes if I want to get back to losing weight again. Seriously.
Anyway, Emily and Abigail came over last night for dinner and to hang around for a bit. Joseph had his friends Andrew and Adrian over for a bit, so we had a full house, and a full dinner table. I stayed up too late and got up too early. Camille is still in bed, the rest of the kids went to school except for homeschooling Kathryn, Jonathan went home with Abigail last night with some math problems, and a few writing assignments, and instructions to read about the Ukraine.
I think I will be smart and call the dr.....
7 comments:
Oh boo. I hope you feel better!
Have you had your thyroid checked? Even so, most doctors just do a standard thyroid test (tsh/t3/t4) and it may show up "normal" BUT...if you ask your Dr. to test for thyroid antibodies, it may test positive for Hashimoto's disease (an autoimmune disease that causes hypothyroid symptoms). Look up symptoms of Hashimoto's/low thyroid. It may explain your difficulty with losing weight. If your regular Dr. won't listen, try an Endocrinologist for in depth thyroid testing. I have thyroid problems myself, too years to finally get some answers from doctors. That's how I know:)
I have had the standard thyroid test done, and it was fine. I have been wondering though, I was feeling lousy this morning and my temperature was only 95.7, which does signify a slow metabolism. I talked myself out of calling the dr. today, I hemmed and hawed until I decided I was just fine. Then I went to the store with Kathryn and Camille, and as I pushed the cart, overflowing with goodness like grapefruit and apples and pears and coffee and chocolate chips and croissants and and and...I realized how awful I am for whining like I do. I have so much to be thankful for.
I will look into this thyroid stuff though, thank you. And I hope I made the right decision not to call the dr.....
I just wanted to say that even though you see yourself as needing to lose a bit of weight, I can see by the photos you post that you are very beautiful and you have a spirit to match.
Susan, you are too kind! Thank you.
Yes yes clean up clean up all the time!!! Oh boy can I ever relate! The awesome thing is.... The negative feelings about it do pass and in the meantime we can make sure we don't treat the others around us with/out of those negative feelings. Thanks so much for sharing this part of life too! I really appreciate knowing I'm not the only one that's tempted to be less than thankful! It's encouraging to know there are others in the same battle!
I love seeing all the pictures of your big busy family!
Would be a good idea to get the thyroid stuff looked further into... Naturopaths are quite helpful with this. Sometimes the regular docs don't treat it if it's just borderline abnormal. A naturopath would pick up on that. I've had a good experience with them and I am healthy today because of them! I used to be quite sick!
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