The tricky part of writing a blog is realizing that people actually read it. For example, if you knew your husband was a reader, you would want to only write nice things about him, and hopefully you would anyway. If you knew your grocery store cashiers read it, you wouldn't want to vent how witchily you were treated when you asked that your bread not be under the canned tomatoes. If you knew your kids' teachers read it, you would maybe tread lightly on how little you care if they miss school. Thinking about the readers, about the audience, whom you are writing for can paralyze the writer...so I try really hard to just write, and not think about offending anyone. This also has to be done without jeopardizing anyone's personal privacy, after all, my life is intertwined with so many other lives, and while I may have a daily story to tell, it isn't always mine to tell...
Our minivan is up at the collision shop for repairs. The other minivan needs a few new tires, so Jonathan and I are heading to Walmart today to do that before more snow hits. Jon made all the tire phone calls yesterday. He had to go out to the van and get the tire number/size, then call around to find out prices and see who had them in stock. He's getting a well-rounded education.
The little girls haven't been out much so I will take them out and about too, we sometimes do our schoolwork in the afternoon.
Here are some random thoughts about losing weight....
1. There is a deceitful voice in my head that tells me that I will be extremely happy when I finally get thin. (I know this isn't true, because I was thin when I was young, and that same voice told me I wasn't thin enough)(This voice also tells me I would be completely and totally happy if I lived in one of those really nice houses with granite countertops, ha)
2. I have eased away from eating sugar again, and I feel much better, but the pounds haven't melted off. Okay, so it's only been since this past Monday. And during the week last week, until the weekend. See the pattern? I have to behave this weekend, or all the hard work during the week is lost.
3. I have maintained a large weight loss for almost six years now. This is hard work, even though I am not skinny, I have managed to not regain it all. At the doctor's office, I was officially sixty pounds less than 6 years ago. (their scale is higher than mine at home of course). This could be better, I have gained some back, have been holding steady here for months upon months, losing a little, gaining it, losing it again. It's hard work, and I am not even getting thin.
4. But. I am not going to give up. I am trying extra hard to avoid sugar and those pesky fast burning carbohydrates.
5. I "knew" a woman who lost like a hundred fifty pounds. She was a local woman, wrote a column in the newspaper. She suffered, she worked so hard, she walked every day, she gave up donuts, she bared her soul in that column, and the words she wrote so honestly really resonated with me...I mean, who could admit that she couldn't even buy boxes of 100 calorie snacks because she would eat the entire box? This woman was realistic, and she was very successful. She lost all that weight...then she died anyway. For a long time, I wondered why she stopped writing...then I googled her name, and there it was, in the obituaries. Now I am not stupid, I know everyone dies. But she wasn't very old, she didn't have weight loss surgery, she lost her weight the old fashioned way. I was just disappointed and sad that she suffered so much...got thin...and died within a few years. You would think she guaranteed herself some extra years, and would be able to enjoy her new thin body for a bit. Even though I didn't take the plunge and actually start my weight loss journey when I was reading her columns, I took what she said to heart...
Kids are up now. I talked to Benjamin, my son from Washington state, on the phone for a while, then the kids got up, so it's no longer the quiet morning house...bye!