my sister....

Yesterday was Cheryl Rene's birthday, so we went out to dinner with three of her seven daughters, with their husbands, her husband, and our friends Hobie and Karen. And no, we didn't get sloshed, I had one light beer, which I enjoyed slowly as I ate my steak...it was good, and it was fun.

My sister is ten years older than me. She is the oldest of the 7 in our family, there were five brothers but Billy passed away. So it was Cheryl, then four brothers, Bob, Tom, Joe, Billy, and me, and our youngest brother, Casey.

She had breast cancer, so I guess that makes her a breast cancer survivor, she also has asthma and allergies and different things, but she is firm in her faith that God causes all things to work for her best. She is too much fun, and doesn't care a hoot what anyone thinks of her. She lives five miles away, and we used to talk on the phone every day, now it's like once a week. Through the years, I have had variations of a dream that I move into a house far far away, and am at some point in the dream, struck with the realization that I will rarely see my sister anymore, and it hurts my heart, and I picture her old and wobbly, and I wonder what I've done, why on earth I moved away...

Yesterday, we had a rainy, rainy day, gloomy and chilly, with the fake fireplace humming and blankets over us as we did our school work. Mali came to pick up Lydia, and I made some French toast and sausage. (I skipped the bread, just cooked up the leftover egg:( )

Our van is STILL in the shop, hopefully we'll get it back today. Our other van has issues too, the exhaust system has to be replaced, I pull up to the stoplights and it sounds like a teenager car, and I have to shake my head at the other drivers, no, I do not want to race, I am not revving the engine, I just have barely any muffler left here.

I would like a brand new minivan. Or even a new used minivan. One with four-wheel drive, so I won't be as terrified of winter driving. But I don't want a brand new car payment, or even a new used car payment, so there's that.

And seriously? Once you get going on the things you want, they start becoming the things you need, and you get dissatisfied with what you already have, and think that when you get what you "need", you will be happy. And it never ends! Shh, I have been looking at used pop-up campers. Camping in a tent for a fat old lady is not fun, not that I would know, ha. And Paul and I could go away for weekends, and and and....so now I NEED one, ha.

There's nothing wrong with having goals, and living comfortably if you can, but for me, it's more restful to be thankful for what I have, and let it go, the striving for more. It's like the time several years ago when I went grocery shopping, and there was a glitch at the register. A computer system bug from the main office, and my huge-0 cart full of groceries had to be unbagged and all rescanned, then it happened again. It wasn't my card, it was the register, and the manager was there trying to figure it out. I can't remember the details, but I was certainly either preggo or had a small baby with me, and lots of little ones. So the manager said, "Today is your lucky day. You get all of your groceries free." It was over two hundred dollars worth. My mother was behind me in line with just a few things, which she got for free too. And it makes me sick to admit this, but my euphoria was cut short with this thought: I should have bought steak.

Anyway. Today is a good day. Evelyn left for work, and the two high school girls went out the door happy, Suzanne made cookies last night for them to bring to school, and I stopped at the store last night and got them some Mentos and cheese crackers for lunch. I got Jonathan some M&M's, also to share with Lydia when she goes potty on the toilet.

I told the girls if they did their school work nice and early, we could go to the craft store today...