to be used for good things...

A long time ago, I lived in a mobile home. It was really nice because we bought it brand new, it was a step up from the first one we lived in. It was bigger and, well...it was new and shiny! The cupboards were made of plywood, and the sinks were plastic, but it fit our needs, and we were totally blessed to get an opening in a really nice small park in Paul's hometown. It was a spacious yard with plenty of trees, and we really liked the place. We had five kids in that trailer. When Paul changed jobs, we started thinking about buying a house.

The houses in our price range were rampant fixer-uppers, and with five small children and not a big budget, we were hesitant. I had a feeling we would buy a dump and it would stay a dump, ha. So my brother offered to build us a house. He had built two, and and was not a builder by trade, but an electrician. But we decided to go for it.

We bought our land, which was a corn field.

We had the foundation built, the basement bricked, the septic system installed.

Then the house was framed, when baby#5, Joseph, was just a month old.

We moved in when Joseph was 11 months old, and by then we were expecting #6, Aaron.

I remember when we first moved in, the thankfulness that filled me because we lived in a huge new house. It's a simple house, built with the cheaper options on doors and fixtures, but it is well built and sturdy, functional and spacious. It's really a big rectangle, and the kids on the bus used to say it was a hotel. We never got around to putting shutters on the windows, which is okay now, because I don't like them anymore ha. But anyway, I remember sweeping the floor one day after we first moved in, and telling God, "Thank you SO much for blessing us with this house. I promise to use it in a good way. For goodness and fellowship."

I felt like we were so blessed to have this place, that it was only logical to pass the blessings on. So, through the years we have had an open home, as far as we've been able. If someone wants to come over, if Jon wants friends here, if the girls want a gathering, if Paul wants company, I try to just say YES. It honestly isn't always easy. Things are always crystal clear in theory, but when it's time to have company, and the house is a mess, dang, I don't feel like it. Then there's the I Just Want To Hibernate thing, my longing for just peace and quiet and some ME time. Everyone has to find their own way through that particular thing, but for me, seeking that doesn't bring peace, but sometimes when I land in it, I enjoy it immensely.

I have to die a million deaths when the door is simply open for company. Because things around here never seem to be as neat, as clean, as organized as I would like. But it hasn't killed me, and people seem to still like to come over.

One time we had a young man over for dinner, and he held up his fork and said, "I get the bent fork!" I was a little embarrassed, the tines on that fork looked like someone had used it to pry something out of something, going every which way. But that young man married my niece, and I now babysit for his little Anne, and his little Davian came over yesterday for a fun-filled visit.

(Suzanne, our 17 year old, is EXCELLENT with little kids. She traced Anya and Davian in the driveway so they could color themselves...)


This is my daughter Margaret. She is holding Ben and Ashley's little Elise, and her own baby Wulf is sleeping in the little seat.

Our pool isn't perfectly clean yet, but it is refreshing, and a work in progress, like me.

My phone is broken. It has been acting up for some time now, but now it won't turn on at all. I had to borrow Jon's watch last night so I could take it in my room so I could check the time in the morning, to make sure I got up with the school girls. I feel rather lost without the phone, they become so vital. Emily is going to Verizon today to check on our plan and see if we can disolve it, because of a million reasons, so maybe I will go with her and see what's up with this phone, get a different one, or whatever. One question: how can all these people afford these iPhones and Samsungs? They are so expensive.

Exciting things are happening though, Evelyn is graduating from high school and we are planning a party for her, and Emily, who graduated from college. Em and I might go for a little trip to the west coast to visit some friends out there, too. Paul is leaving for Singapore on Friday. Our huge cabin vacation is coming up in June.

This is the longest stretch of peace and quiet I've had in a long time. The dogs are snoring, and the birds are singing. I have tended to the pool, wiped down the counters, and put on the coffee, and that's about all. The homeschoolers have to be awakened, and and and...

little improvements, pictures!!!

The deck is all sealed!
The dark swivel chairs were awful before I spray painted them. $4.99 each at the thrift store, cream colored frames with rose/pink mesh seats, so eighties!


The rocking chair in the corner is from Aldi, and it's so comfy!


This was the yellow Little Tikes table. We've had it for years, it was stained and even after bleaching it, it looked awful. So I used the rest of the can of spray paint from painting the hinges on the kitchen cabinets, I figured it couldn't look worse. And I like it! It's between two Adirondack chairs on the deck.


The flower box...lots of wildflower seeds are sprouting already.

Anyway. Today was a beautiful day. Warm and humid and full of good things. :)

I'll be happy when...

I lose fifty pounds.
My house is clean.
My husband buys me a diamond ring.
Jamaica.
The dogs stop pooping in the yard.
The kids stop putting wet towels in the clothes hamper, there IS a towel hamper.
Whoever uses the last of the water in the Britta refills it.
People stop slopping coffee down the fronts of the newly painted cabinets.
Gas prices go down.
My purse is organized. I found SIX hairclips and five pairs of sunglasses in there the other day.
The pool is clean.
We get a new screen/storm door...make that two, one for the deck door, one for the front door.
We get new bathroom faucets, they are old and corroded.
We get a new roof.
We finish replacing the falling apart windows.
We do something about the broken tiles in the kitchen...a whole new floor would make me happy.
The ice maker in the freezer gets fixed.
The window on the van gets fixed. (Paul ordered the part but it's the wrong one)
The window in the kitchen, oh don't get me started...it's the wrong window, Paul made it fit, and the sheetrock around it..ugh.
My teenagers treat me with respect each and every day.
My family totally realizes how much I actually do to make this place function.
My knees stop hurting. One of them is being a total jerk, acting up and aching and giving out.

I could add new Birkenstocks and lower or no medical insurance deductible, but that would be greedy.

It's the biggest trip up, isn't it? The old, "I'll Be Happy When...".

Because it just ain't true. Look at millionaires and billionaires. Are they actually any happier? I remember when Paul and I were first married, saddled with huge student loan payments. I didn't work after Emily was born, and we were pretty broke for a few years. We lived in a mobile home, had our car payment, and spent $30 a week on groceries. I had, and I am serious, about three pairs of underwear. We got a used washing machine, and had no dryer for years. But we were happy. We didn't have much, we never went out to eat, we were happy.

Money CAN buy happiness, of course it can, a good Labrador Retriever pup costs upwards of $600, right? And vet bills. :)

But there is this lie, this lust, that is never satisfied, that always wants the next thing on the list.

Last year when my kids pitched in and paid for our new deck, which Adrian and Sam and some of the other kids built, I told them that they never ever have to get me anything again, they are set for life as far as birthdays, Christmas, Mother's Day...it was the best gift. It hasn't worn off yet, either.

But I was like that when we first moved into this house....I remember pinching myself to prove that it was real. I was overflowing with happiness. Years passed, stained carpets and rickety windows and broken closet doors happened, and where did my thankfulness go?

Anyway. Things don't have to be perfect in order to be happy. We are gifted with a drive to make things nice, and that's a good thing, but to be content with what we have is golden.

It IS nice to improve things though...we spent yesterday afternoon coating the deck with waterproofing coating, and talk about tedious work! Those little railing spindles, oh dear! We still have to do the backs of one section, which Jon couldn't reach on the ladder. And this morning we are going to give the decking part a second coat, and the stairs. Oh, yesterday I was working on the stairs. I had started at the top and one of my daughters was doing the trim/railing below me, and I don't know what she was thinking, but she painted the bottom steps. There I was, in the middle of the stairs, painted in. If I were small and nimble, no problem, but I had to step on those stairs to get down, no leaps for me. I touched them up a bit, and of course some bad puppies made prints on them anyway, but oh dear, what was she thinking?

It was quite a project. Emily, Kathryn, Evelyn, Suzanne, Sonja, Jonathan, Char, Cam, and cousin Danielle all pitched in. Ashley was here with Elise and Anya, Lydia was here, little Anne was here, Margaret was here with baby Wulf. We spent the entire day outside, what gorgeous weather. Our sidewalks and driveway are covered in chalk...

It DOES feel nice to accomplish getting the deck protected. Trying to find a string of nice days, and fit it into our schedule, and actually getting it done, wow. I'll take some pics of it later.

Adrian built a flower box/raised bed planter thing for Evelyn the other day, in no time flat, using the old deck lumber. It looks SO NICE. And the front porch is finished, too. I won't lie, I do love the little upgrades, improvements. But I like to revel in them, enjoy them, and not just want more!

Life should be reveled in, and enjoyed.

little ones straight from heaven...

This fine sunny morning, my two and a half year old granddaughter Lydia is here for a visit, while her tired mama is trying to take a nap back at their apartment. Mali has to work a 12 hour overnight shift tonight at the hospital, and a girl can't just stay up all day then work all night, can she? I told her to take care of herself, I'll help with Lydia as much as I can.

Anne is here today too, and Ashley is coming over with Anya, my four and a half year old granddaughter. And, Margaret might be coming over with baby Wulf.

We filled the water tables, and put a few inches of water in the little pool. The girls are in here now playing dollhouse after eating French toast.

We'll be going back outside soon...:)

What a happy good day!

rain, rain, go away....

but too bad, I walked anyway.

and this doesn't seem like much, it's a start, a good start to the day.


So yesterday, my morning started out differently. I drove the three high school girls to school because Evelyn was doing a speech/presentation on how to make a pour-over coffee, and iced coffee, and had lots of equipment to bring. They had extra time, and were very thankful they didn't have to take the bus, so it was worth postponing the morning walk. (I went later!). I decided since I had such an early start and was dressed in bye bye clothes, I would go to the grocery store while I was out, all by myself, after dropping them off at school.

My first stop was Aldi, but dang it, I was out TOO early, it didn't open for an hour. So I went to the big grocery store across the street, and had the store just about all to myself, mostly me, and the workers. I leisurely ripped out coupons for things on sale, and got some shampoo and girly supplies and cleaning products, without having any kids sighing and rolling their eyes at how mom takes SO LONG.

I truly enjoyed myself.

Then, Aldi! That parking lot filled up fast. I had wanted to get there ASAP, because they just had a new ad come out, and they had swings for $7.99, with the ropes and hooks and everything! I got two of those round disk swings, one for the tree in the front yard (in the same tree as our big webbed swing), and one for the swingset in the back yard, which has been looking like a kid with missing teeth for a few years now. I also got two regular swings for $7.99 each, and the girls put them up as soon as I got home. Now there are four swings, a glider, a round disk swing, and a baby swing on the swing set.

Aldi had too many good things, I had to just walk past them. Their prices are so good, but it still adds up. And did I really need the big outside clock/thermometer? Or the squishy footrest-seat thing? Or MORE throw pillows for the deck? (I got an outdoor rocking chair there last month for $24, and I LOVE it. It's SO comfy!)

Anyway. It's raining cats and dogs, I walked, and didn't melt.

Getting into good habits means breaking through the excuses. I know myself, it's never going to be free sailing, but it does get easier when you just do it.

So Adrian is a very handy son-in-law. He built the front porch in no time flat, and then he built Evelyn a raised bed garden box. He used all old deck lumber for the garden box, and mostly old lumber for the front porch, but new decking and railing wood. So yesterday after school, Evelyn and I headed out to get potting soil and a few more plants for her box. We put down old wood in the bottom, then landscaping fabric, then filled it up, and planted wildflower seeds, and put in some flower plants.

Our new deck needs to be stained, so yesterday we carried all the chairs and tables down to the yard, ha people are going to be slowing down, thinking there's a yard sale here. I had just put up strings of solar lights, so I had to take those down, they are long and tangly. We plan to wash it up nicely today in the rain, then let it dry for most of tomorrow, which is forecast to be sunny, then stain it in the afternoon when it's in the shade. It's supposed to be sunny and dry on Thursday and Friday too, which will give it a few days to dry properly.

It's hard to find a stretch of days to do these things here in the northeast, with our frequent rainy days. But I'll say this: I don't mind a rainy day. Today is so overcast and gloomy and comfy. I love it. Even walking in the rain wasn't a hardship, the drops pelting on my hood reminded me of camping in the rain. And rain brings out the good smells of the lilacs and fresh grass. There was something dead down near the woods though, and yuckkers, I walked a little faster by that.

Anyway.

Last evening, I found myself home with just Jonathan and Camille. The older girls all went to a girls' fellowship night at Emily-Abigail-Mirielle's house, where they had a fire and celebrated Charlotte Claire's birthday. Camille isn't in the youth group yet:) Paul works in the evenings now, so anyway...I offered them to do something fun. We threw some ideas around, which is honestly the most fun part, then decided to just go to town, four miles down the road, and get some take-out Chinese, and rent a Redbox movie. We got sesame chicken, and the movie, "Wonder".

Kathryn is making a nice breakfast for the homeschooled kids, and we have work to do...:)

terrible day!!!

It is POURING out. I have yet to venture out for my morning walk, despite telling myself how I am certain not to melt. Maybe in a little while...

It's not really a terrible day, although when people work Monday through Friday, when the sun is shining and the birds are singing, then on Saturday, the rain and gloom set in, ouch. And today is a big day, Mali is moving into an apartment with little Lydia. It's sad because they lived in a house with daddy, but things were complicated, and as it's...you guessed it...not my story to tell,so we will leave it at that. But Paul and at least ten of our kids are pitching in and helping her move. It's been a long time coming, and these things are never easy, though in the long run, are for the best. I love Mali and Lydia with all of my heart, and am praying for them, that they can adjust and find peace and happiness.

I could have, maybe should have, gone to help too. But I decided that I would stay here and make cookies, and some almond bread, and have dinner ready-ish for later, because everyone is landing here for burgers, coneys, and hot dogs on the grill, after the move. So I am here blogging, the dogs are snoring, and one Orange Guy kitty is sleeping behind my computer, sprawled on my legs. My first coffee of the day is empty, if I could get a refill without disturbing the cat, I would be in hog heaven.

I do feel a teeny tiny bit guilty about being so gung-ho about helping, then staying home, but hey, someone has to prepare the feast! And someone has to sneak in a little bit of peace and quiet every once in a while!

The dogs are seriously snoring, both of them, one on each couch.

I have all the ingredients out and measured for the cookies, and the boxes of pasta on the counter for the pasta salad. I was bustling around doing things as the kids and Paul grabbed brekky and coffees and headed out the door, but then when the house was quiet...I decided to have a nice little break, ha.

Yesterday, Charlotte Claire, Camille, and I took back the cans and bottles, and got $16.25. I handed it right to Cam, for our trip fund. Paul and I and the two of them are saving up for a trip to Norway next summer.

Afterward, we went to the ice cream place, Kathryn was there after the school's Grandparents and Special Friends Day, she went for little Linnea, one of my niece's twins. My sister's daughter Claire and her husband, and two little ones, are still in town since my sister's youngest daughter got married. Claire and her hubby live in Australia, so it's a big thing to see them. I visited a bit, but did not have any ice cream, which was sheer torture, but I vowed not to eat it unless I go to the place which has the really good homemade stuff.

But later, after the youth girls went to a dinner and bon-fire, and Jon left to go hang out with his friends, Camille and I went to the pool. We met Abigail there, and Ashley and Anya and baby Elise (Elise loves the pool!). While still in the locker room, I ordered chicken wings and one slice of pepperoni pizza (for Camille), and picked it up on the way home. Paul and I and Camille watched the finale of Master Chef Junior while eating our wings. Is that not the ending of a perfect day? Then the girls and Jonathan came tumbling back into the house from their fun, and it was crazy in here again.

One thing's for sure, you don't automatically lose a pound when you turn down ice cream. It's just not fair. I see these people cutting back, cutting things out, and they slim down magically, and I just stay the same, no matter what. Okay, I know, I do cheat here and there, but it takes DAYS to drop the cheat pounds, then I maintain, until it happens again, and duh, I know, never cheat and it'll work, and duh, I'll be thin in no time. But this is taking YEARS. And now that I type this, I do remember this: oops, yesterday for dinner before the pool, I had, wait for it: five or six squares of that Italian milk chocolate with natural peanut butter on top. With hot coffee, in my comfy chair, after going in the pool here (yuck, I tried to scoop the middle stuff from the bottom, and ended up breaking the leaf scoop, the handle snapped in half, and the green slimy leaves and stuff from the bottom of the pool went all over into the water, which is good in the long run because then the filter works it out, but yuckers), anyway, I was chilly, and this snack was superb, but oh my, celery and peanut butter would have been the smart choice.

Here's what I ate yesterday: eggs and bacon for brekky. One 15 calorie popsicle. One 40 cal. fudge-pop. The chocolate with peanut butter. ONE small chocolate covered peanut butter pretzel, which we had gotten on clearance from Ollies, Christmas snacks, for 28 cents a bag. I told Camille not to give me another one even if I chased her around the deck, and she didn't, that little brat, ha, it was THAT GOOD, but I only had one. And I only verbally chased her around the deck. Then I had the chicken wings after the pool. So I walked, then swam in the evening, but oh no, didn't lose an ounce.

I try to eat only two meals a day, very low carbs, like eggs for breakfast, and meat and veggies for dinner, but I just don't drop pounds like you would think. I wonder if my body thinks I'm starving or something. Or if those little chocolate days hold the pounds. Or the few days a week I eat popcorn. Whatever. It is a good day anyway, although I am convinced it would be better if I was fifty pounds lighter. Every once in a while I remember my old Aunt Boots, she was overweight all her life, then she got cancer. She had a huge picnic at her house, to say goodbye to everyone, which was really really sad...and one thing she said was, "Well, I'm finally thin..."

So it's not the Be All, to be thin. Life is still good. But that being said, I'm NOT giving up.

that perfect day...

Today is a perfect day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and Evelyn is here at home because she isn't going on the senior trip. I went on my walk, making it the full week, yay me. But all isn't sunshine and roses, I am not in the best shape. I walk my way through it, but the aches and pains are certainly there.

Paul doesn't have to work today, it's his Saturday because he is on Singapore time, readying for his trip there next month, and working with the office there. His schedule has changed to going to work for the afternoon evening, but his mornings are still filled with work calls.

Our pool is getting cleaner, it just needs to warm up and get hot again. We've had a few beautiful days. Yesterday, Charlotte Claire, Camille, and I went to the grocery store for some basics, like bananas and lettuce and chicken and eggs. We went into Kohl's really quickly, and the girls found a few super-clearanced things, with an extra 15% off. Then to Ollies, which I do love. They have things like brand name snacks, Perugina chocolate bars for $1.29. The big yummy one. I had to get a base for the new deck umbrella. Oh, that was a disaster, the new umbrella. I have been wanting one for a few years, but the deck shades over in the afternoon, so it wasn't a necessity, but I wanted one for if anyone wants/needs shade earlier. So, I was at Target, and the really nice one was on sale for 65, and the one I chose was $40. Well, two days after I put it up, I forgot to fold it down in the evening, and the wind picked up, and tipped the table over, and oops, all the new plants we had just gotten from the dollar store, whoopee all over the deck.

I cheaped out and didn't get the base, thought we could just use a pail of sand or something, but hadn't gotten to it yet. I decided to just bite the bullet and go buy a base, Ollie's had one for $6.99. Well, those were all gone, so I had to buy the $17 one. And Paul repaired the bent umbrella for me, he had to cut the bottom off because it was so badly bent. Lesson: remember to fold up your umbrella at night, and perhaps opt for the better one next time.

At Ollie's, I also bought two strings of solar lights for the deck, they looked awesome last night. I tangled them up good trying to put them on, there are 200 lights in each string.

By the time I got home, Paul had left for work, and I felt kind of bad. But today I plan to stay home:)

The kids are finishing up their school year, the three high school girls, and the homeschool kids. Evelyn is graduating! A few of them are planning to work this summer, which is going to be interesting, because I don't particularly want to spend my summer shuttling girls to and from jobs, but they don't exactly have cars. We have the one extra minivan, with no air conditioning, so we will have to work out details.

Anyway. Life is busy but good, not without trials, but trials either bring one closer to God, or make one angry and bitter and dissatisfied with life.