terrible day!!!

It is POURING out. I have yet to venture out for my morning walk, despite telling myself how I am certain not to melt. Maybe in a little while...

It's not really a terrible day, although when people work Monday through Friday, when the sun is shining and the birds are singing, then on Saturday, the rain and gloom set in, ouch. And today is a big day, Mali is moving into an apartment with little Lydia. It's sad because they lived in a house with daddy, but things were complicated, and as it's...you guessed it...not my story to tell,so we will leave it at that. But Paul and at least ten of our kids are pitching in and helping her move. It's been a long time coming, and these things are never easy, though in the long run, are for the best. I love Mali and Lydia with all of my heart, and am praying for them, that they can adjust and find peace and happiness.

I could have, maybe should have, gone to help too. But I decided that I would stay here and make cookies, and some almond bread, and have dinner ready-ish for later, because everyone is landing here for burgers, coneys, and hot dogs on the grill, after the move. So I am here blogging, the dogs are snoring, and one Orange Guy kitty is sleeping behind my computer, sprawled on my legs. My first coffee of the day is empty, if I could get a refill without disturbing the cat, I would be in hog heaven.

I do feel a teeny tiny bit guilty about being so gung-ho about helping, then staying home, but hey, someone has to prepare the feast! And someone has to sneak in a little bit of peace and quiet every once in a while!

The dogs are seriously snoring, both of them, one on each couch.

I have all the ingredients out and measured for the cookies, and the boxes of pasta on the counter for the pasta salad. I was bustling around doing things as the kids and Paul grabbed brekky and coffees and headed out the door, but then when the house was quiet...I decided to have a nice little break, ha.

Yesterday, Charlotte Claire, Camille, and I took back the cans and bottles, and got $16.25. I handed it right to Cam, for our trip fund. Paul and I and the two of them are saving up for a trip to Norway next summer.

Afterward, we went to the ice cream place, Kathryn was there after the school's Grandparents and Special Friends Day, she went for little Linnea, one of my niece's twins. My sister's daughter Claire and her husband, and two little ones, are still in town since my sister's youngest daughter got married. Claire and her hubby live in Australia, so it's a big thing to see them. I visited a bit, but did not have any ice cream, which was sheer torture, but I vowed not to eat it unless I go to the place which has the really good homemade stuff.

But later, after the youth girls went to a dinner and bon-fire, and Jon left to go hang out with his friends, Camille and I went to the pool. We met Abigail there, and Ashley and Anya and baby Elise (Elise loves the pool!). While still in the locker room, I ordered chicken wings and one slice of pepperoni pizza (for Camille), and picked it up on the way home. Paul and I and Camille watched the finale of Master Chef Junior while eating our wings. Is that not the ending of a perfect day? Then the girls and Jonathan came tumbling back into the house from their fun, and it was crazy in here again.

One thing's for sure, you don't automatically lose a pound when you turn down ice cream. It's just not fair. I see these people cutting back, cutting things out, and they slim down magically, and I just stay the same, no matter what. Okay, I know, I do cheat here and there, but it takes DAYS to drop the cheat pounds, then I maintain, until it happens again, and duh, I know, never cheat and it'll work, and duh, I'll be thin in no time. But this is taking YEARS. And now that I type this, I do remember this: oops, yesterday for dinner before the pool, I had, wait for it: five or six squares of that Italian milk chocolate with natural peanut butter on top. With hot coffee, in my comfy chair, after going in the pool here (yuck, I tried to scoop the middle stuff from the bottom, and ended up breaking the leaf scoop, the handle snapped in half, and the green slimy leaves and stuff from the bottom of the pool went all over into the water, which is good in the long run because then the filter works it out, but yuckers), anyway, I was chilly, and this snack was superb, but oh my, celery and peanut butter would have been the smart choice.

Here's what I ate yesterday: eggs and bacon for brekky. One 15 calorie popsicle. One 40 cal. fudge-pop. The chocolate with peanut butter. ONE small chocolate covered peanut butter pretzel, which we had gotten on clearance from Ollies, Christmas snacks, for 28 cents a bag. I told Camille not to give me another one even if I chased her around the deck, and she didn't, that little brat, ha, it was THAT GOOD, but I only had one. And I only verbally chased her around the deck. Then I had the chicken wings after the pool. So I walked, then swam in the evening, but oh no, didn't lose an ounce.

I try to eat only two meals a day, very low carbs, like eggs for breakfast, and meat and veggies for dinner, but I just don't drop pounds like you would think. I wonder if my body thinks I'm starving or something. Or if those little chocolate days hold the pounds. Or the few days a week I eat popcorn. Whatever. It is a good day anyway, although I am convinced it would be better if I was fifty pounds lighter. Every once in a while I remember my old Aunt Boots, she was overweight all her life, then she got cancer. She had a huge picnic at her house, to say goodbye to everyone, which was really really sad...and one thing she said was, "Well, I'm finally thin..."

So it's not the Be All, to be thin. Life is still good. But that being said, I'm NOT giving up.