when to put one's foot down, and when to just give in...

This is one of my struggles. I have eleven daughters. For many years, I dressed them very nicely, although they now refer to it as "when we were Amish". No offense to any Amish people who might just have computers. I thought they looked sweet and neat and apart from this world...I thought it was for their best. As they grew, I realized more and more that it is the inside that counts. Modesty is still important, but they can dress how they want and still be good girls.

But anyway, I like to dress the little girls in nice clothes. So, this morning I put out sleeveless tunic tops (it is going to be almost ninety degrees today), and leggings. Charlotte Claire immediately protested. She wanted a skirt. I said Please Just Wear What I Got Out For You. I didn't feel like getting something else, it had been a busy morning...she didn't do her homework last night because there was Activity Club at church, so we did that first thing. I prepared their lunches and breakfasts and made sure Jon had socks and sneakers in case anyone protested his comfy sandals for the playground. I didn't want to Char to get her way. She was whining. Then I realized the problem: she does not like to dress the same exact as Camille. Sometimes she is okay with it, but recently her friends called her a "twin", which in my book isn't bad, but for a first grader....so I relented. I picked out a nice skirt/skorts thing. But I was frustrated, because even though I am 47 years old, I didn't get my way. I had to give in. I had to laugh at myself for the way I felt. I think there are times, especially with daughters, when one has to give in. Let them dress how they are comfortable. I am not talking about letting them go out the door in what they refer to as "skanky" clothes....

So life is a learning experience. There is no set of rules to get us through the parenting years. We have to be flexible, willing to yield. And have a connection to God, so that we can sense when it is a good time to press a matter. And sense when it is good to talk and encourage. If you have ever had moody teenage girls, you might have an inkling that you can't just tell them anything you want anytime you want.

Yesterday the school nurse called to ask about Sonja K. She was sitting right there, so I told the nurse she had an upset stomach. Which is sort of true. I just didn't want to embarrass her, and besides, is it really the nurse's business if Sonja K. has personal issues? Anyway, the nurse went on to tell me that the fever/throwing up bug was going around, and she hoped it didn't go through the whole family! I told Sonja after that I was tempted to say, "Well, the boys won't get it, but if all the girls get it at the same time, God help us." She thought that was pretty funny.

I used to get so mad at my mother when she would make comments, "I knew you were going to get your period, Lady Jane, just by the way you have been acting." I vowed to never do that to my girls. But. Let me just say this...it explains a lot sometimes.

To any of my lovely daughters who might be reading this: know that I love you each with all my heart, one as much as the other, and whoever I am with, most dearly of all. Even when you are "w"itchy.

Sonja did indeed get spoiled yesterday. She got new rain boots, ten bucks at Target, along with new shoes marked down to $5. Soccer cleats, which turned out to be football cleats, according to Sam, but what do we know about things like that? He said they would still work. oops. Anyway, she got a few shirts, a pair of shorts, and some new undies. A new sports bra, too. Oh, and shinguards for soccer. And, we ate at Subway in the mall. I think the guy who worked there thought she was cute. She ordered a BLT sub, and told him, "Only with no tomatoes, please." It was cute because you don't have to say that, you just don't ask for them when he is building the sub for you. Anyway, he gave her so much bacon, I decided pretty quickly that I was having one of those too, only WITH tomatoes.

It was great to spend the day with her. She is still such a little girl.

After getting home from shopping with Sonja, and putting away the yogurt and milk and popcorn and ham and turkey and coffee, and puppy food and kitten chow and cat food and kitty litter, I went straight outside to work out. I had to ignore all the things I would have liked to straighten up and clean, and get to it. Kathryn had just taken the little girls down the road on a walk, and Jonathan was outside talking to me while I exercised. I did like five different things, in small increments, going from one thing to the next for twenty minutes. Oh man was my heart hammering. I love that quivery feeling though, that my muscles really worked. I stayed outside with Jon and played ball with him. He can hit quite well, but he can't pitch it to me yet. When he did throw it in my general direction, I sent it flying and surprised us both.

Popcorn. I am craving it. Stovetop popcorn with real butter, lots of it. Lots of butter, and lots of popcorn. Yes, I know about air-popped popcorn. I know about low-calorie spray butter, and about those shaker flavorings that have salt but very few calories. That stuff is all well and good, but I want real popcorn. I do not dare make it when no one is here. I will wait until perhaps Friday night when there are so many kids here I only get one bowl.

And, I think I shall go hand out the clothes from the washing machine, put in another load, sweep the floors. Paul bought me a new mop the other day, and I haven't used it yet. Am I terrible to want to use it a few times before he notices and says, "wow, you haven't mopped yet?" He probably wouldn't even say that.

I have a project to do today. I have to wash the solar cover and the top hot tub cover. They are really really yucky. And, I have to drain the hot tub and scrub it out. blah. But, the good news is that it will be fixed soon! I ordered some plastaid from Amazon, when it comes in, it should be pretty straightforward for Bob to get it going again. Finally finally, my hot tub!!! Just in time for the chilly starry fall nights.