and...a bit of sadness....

I am thinking of a good verse right now...2 Corinth. 4:8...We are hard pressed on every side, yet not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed-

Sam did not pass his PT test. He called right as we were ready to pull out of the driveway. Totally packed, ready to go. I was honestly a bit shocked, I really thought he would pass. He said his wrist is still sore, he just couldn't do the push-ups. He did the other things fine. He said the Army is downsizing right now, and being selective. (When Ben went through basic, one of the soldiers didn't pass a single PT test, yet got through and went to Afghanistan with Ben.) Anyway. He doesn't know what will happen now. He will either be sent home, and get here in July sometime, or he will go to a second chance kind of thing where he is trained intensively and tested weekly, if he passes the PT test in the first few weeks he will graduate and move on, if not, cycled out and home. So he just waits now to see what they decide. He called me, and told me all this while Paul and the girls were getting in the van to leave. Because we really thought he would pass, and that we would be going to the Infantry graduation. Sam said that he has been talking to God a lot lately. He said that perhaps God has different plans for him. I could tell he was trying to be strong. He apologized for ruining our plans, and I just about cried. The only plans I care about are having my children grow up to trust in God. I told him that, too. Success, wealth, status...very nice, but guess what? In the long run, those things don't bring true happiness.

So his plans changed, and he is down there in Georgia, while the rest of his platoon gets ready to graduate. I want to cry, I want to hug him, I want to comfort him. He made it clear we should not drive down there, he does not have leave, and wouldn't be able to see us until possibly the weekend, and then he wouldn't be able to leave the base. So.

We didn't want to disappoint the girls even more, so we changed our hotel reservations, and are going to Hampton, Virginia. And, we are taking Jonathan too, since we have the open seat in the van since Sam won't be coming home with us. Paul and I, Kathryn and Evelyn and Suzanne and Sonja, and Jon, will get up at 3:30 am and drive...and drive and drive, to the ocean. Ten, eleven hours. It doesn't seem so long compared to the 19 hours to Georgia. But it seems sad.

I haven't cried yet, but I will. Probably when I least want to, something else will happen and I will lose it. Poor Sam. Because no matter what he believes, he will have some suffering to do. And he is my little boy. ouch, my soul. That's what love is though, hurting when they hurt.

Ah well, life is interesting.