random things....

1. The receptionist in the surgeon's office was retiring. It was her last day at work. She had big plans. Somehow it made me sad.

2. It is 43 degrees, very chilly and windy. Not fun to be outside...but if we had a day like this in January, I would be pushing the kids out the door.

3. We are running out of eggs and bread.

4. Aaron is feeling a bit better but his nose is still bruised and swollen.

5. I cannot find my slippers. So I have one red one on and one brown one on. I wouldn't mind, but one has a bit of a heel and one doesn't....

6. I ate oatmeal with peanutbutter this morning because I like it so much better than eggs.

7. We went to the big library yesterday. I had a ten dollar fine from back in the winter...blah. And of all the thousands of books there, I picked one randomly off the shelf...after starting to read it I realized I have read it before!

8. The girls watched the Barbie Sing-Along twice already.

9. Last evening, they watched Beauty and The Beast AND Tangled.

10. I miss Paul. I dream about him ever single night. I guess absence does make the heart grow fonder.

11. After reading some national news, I am thinking our weather isn't all that awful. Toronadoes and drought and wild fires and torrential rain.

12. I am considering just packing up all these kids and going shopping with them rather than wait 'til the older kids get home and going by myself. Am I crazy? I mean in THIS sense, not in general.

13. One time several years ago we went camping in the Adirondacks for a week. It was rainy and chilly the whole week. My sister and her husband and their seven daughters came to visit us. The kids went absolutely wild in the camper while we sat out under the awning. I don't think they could have had more fun....

14. I would like to go for my walk but Aaron is sleeping and there is no one here old enough to watch the little ones....

15. Dollhousestuff is spreading across the room again as they set up their kingdoms. There are also two huge firetrucks and some Hess trucks.

16. Suzanne learned how to do a front-walkover.

17. Rosie likes to be near me. She is big and clumsy and she knocks into me when I am walking, and follows me everywhere. She is not allowed down the hall, but if I go down to my room, she waits for me in the hall. When I get out of my chair and go to the kitchen, she is right there. She follows me around the kitchen, everywhere. If I sit on the couch, she lies on the floor at my feet.

18. The sub from Subway was as yummy as I anticipated. I had half for lunch and half for dinner. I haven't been eating bread or simple carbs, but...calorie wise it wasn't too destructive. 580 for the whole thing.

19. I would really like some fresh deep fried haddock.

20. It takes way too much patience to be a mom. And to lose weight.

21. I stayed up 'til almost two talking to Mirielle and Margaret last night.

22. Suzanne likes to cook now. She wants to make fried potatoes.

23. Suze has nowhere to do gymnastics.

Time to get moving....

why?

Why is the weather so horrible now that the kids are on vacation? 50mph winds today and rain. Rain all week. I have decided that after the winds diminish, and it is just plain rainy, we shall embrace the rain and go on adventures with our umbrellas.

Why does Mirielle make chocolate cookies?

Why do I miss Paul so much? I keep dreaming about him....

Why do I like excercising now?

Why do my kids get so sick of hearing about my new enthusiasm? (I over-heard one of them say last night that "Mom has weight-loss Aspergers".)...seriously, no offense to anyone - our Samuel definetly has high-functioning Aspergers, and when he is interested in something, he is totally obsessed.....

Anyway....today is Saturday. I am home with Aaron, who seems to be doing better. Paul is still in Boston, and the older kids left for the youth meeting. Finally. The boys were teasing Mirielle for making them late. Sam said she said, "it's not MY fault it is cloudy and I couldn't read my sundial." Anyway, they got their act together and left. I made eggs and bacon and coffee and cut up cantaloupe...Suzanne made French Toast.

The kitchen needs to be cleaned up, and I have stuff in the washer and dryer. The living room is messy. But today we shall go on an adventure. I am thinking the Big Library and of course Subway, for the buy one get one frees.

We are in no hurry. Suzanne is making another batch of French Toast for Evelyn and their cousin Olivia. Jon is deciding what he wants to get with his birthday money. I showed him videos of the space shuttle that exploded in 1986 because he was playing with his Hess spaceshuttle. A million questions from Jonny....

Camille is cuddled up to me, still in her jammies. Rosie is lying at my feet. She was confused when Aaron was in my chair....she ran over and then turned around and spotted me sitting on the couch....She is my shadow.

Sonja broke a bowl this morning. Mirielle broke a gallon of milk late last night. She dropped it, it broke open, she put the rest in a pitcher and a few travel mugs....

Oh well....the natives are getting restless.

a breather, finally...

Oops, we couldn't find the place for his surgery...because I thought it was at a hospital, and said I knew where we were going. Aaron had googled it, and knew exactly where to go. It was a surgery center associated with the hospital. But since I thought I knew where I was going...blah, we got there on time, but we took the scenic route.

His surgery was more complicated than we had thought it would be. I will spare the details, but he had to have a piece of cartilage taken out of the back and put in the middle. blah. It took a while, and he is bruised up and sore and sick from the anesthesia. He is drowsing in my chair...I feel sorry for him.

I am so bad, I actually told him in the recovery room that it was time to wake up and go home because it is so nice and sunny today....

Since the dr. said his surgery would last an hour, I took the opportunity to go for a twenty minute walk around the parking lot. It was very invigorating, as it was early morning and still chilly.

I had brought an apple and some peanuts and a balance bar, and a huge water bottle, so I stayed satisfied and content.

Home...I sat in the sun for a bit, went for my walk (twice up the evil hill!)...then made dinner - got some chicken marinating for dinner...then went to the store in town with Evelyn for salad fixings. And fresh Italian bread and some more ice cream for the kids who love ice cream. After dinner, I decided to take them to the pool. Sadly, none of the older kids wanted to go with us. So it was Evelyn (11), Suzanne (10), Sonja (8), Jonathan (6), Charlotte Claire and Camille, and I. The only problem was that Miss Camille has to have such close supervision, I hardly got to excercise at all...but they had so much fun! I think they like the showers afterward as much as they like the pool. Home for ice cream and a Veggie-Tales sing-a-long video...and now it is bedtime...

It is a youth conference weekend. Aaron won't be going to this one. Paul is not back from Boston yet, so it shall be a busy one for me.

The Subway restaurant in the small city is having Customer Appreciation Day tomorrow, foot-long subs for buy one get one free. I am going to take these guys, since I will only have six younger ones. (I don't think Aaron will be eating subs yet) And Jared lost tons of weight eating Subway subs. I don't eat cheese on mine anyway, or mayo, so it will be fine to have a half. I am so pathetic, I am REALLY looking forward to it.

Mirielle is very mean. Not really. But she is making chocolate cookies from her Chocoholic cookbook. She was melting Nestle chips on the stove when I came in, and the house smells like heavenly chocolate. Intoxicating. I didn't have ice cream with the kids, I had some blueberries and strawberries, so I might have a cookie.

Oh, I did lose a few pounds...three and a half less than I was two days ago. So at least I know I am not immune to losing weight. Maybe I will just have one bite of cookie.

And, now it is REALLY bedtime...

blogging at eleven o'clock at night?!!

I need to collect my thoughts, this is my version of thinking out loud. As I just finished loading the dishwasher, I thought that for someone who isn't thin, I stretch myself pretty thin. Blah. Mali needed her fabric for her prom dress, the prom is in two weeks. My sister is making her dress, she won't start it 'til the night before anyway...(when Cheryl went to the prom, I distinctly remember her holding the pieces of her dress up and showing them to a kid in the neighborhood...she was like, "Wanna see my prom dress?" The night before the prom.) Anyway, Emily didn't have to work tonight, so she took Mali to the fabric store, and they came home with some nice stuff.

We had taco salad for dinner. I went shopping today and forgot to get the tortilla chips, so I sent Joseph to town to get some after he picked Mali up from track practice. I also told him to get two half-gallons of ice cream for the kids, since they are officially on SPRING BREAK! Sam wanted peanut butter ice cream, so in typical Sam Fashion, he repeated it a few times. Aaron didn't hear the Ice Cream part, just the Peanut Butter Part...so....he went to work....Joseph goes to town, goes into the store Aaron is working at, and Aaron tells him, "Get peanut butter." So Joseph comes home with two huge jars of peanutbutter, at small-store prices...blah.

Emily and Abigail were both here for dinner. I always send them home with stuff, I am my parents. Camille throws a fit because she wanted the other kind of barbecue sauce....so I get it for her. She continues to fuss because she wanted to pour it herself...okay, enough, into your room until you decide you want to sit with us instead of screaming....I would take a bite of dinner, go back and ask her if she wanted to be good now and sit with us now but no, just screaming...oh dear. When she decided to be good, she came back and sat down, and was fine. I was disapointed that I had eaten half my dinner during that time, and didn't even enjoy it.

Bedtime...dear oh dear...Sonja's turn to sleep with me, Suze sleeping in with Charlotte Claire, Jon in tears 'cause he doesn't want to sleep alone, Kap being nice and sleeping in his room in Sonja's bed....

Tomorrow morning I have to have Aaron up to the hospital early. The younger kids are not going to school because of Grandparents' Day. (they have no Grandparents to come...Paul's mom is not back from Florida, and his dad is not well enough to go) So for my kids, that day at school is no fun. It just reminds them of Gramma. Anyway, Margaret is staying home to watch them. She has a project that is due. She wants to bring it in. Joseph and Mirielle are going to college, then coming home and taking the car to a place north of here to get that power steering fixed, finally. Mirielle might be able to take Margaret's project in, or Evelyn might bring it for her. Then Mali has to go into the doctor's office in the small city have her TB test checked....she had to have it done to register for nursing school, and it has to be read tomorrow. Since Joe and Mirielle are bringing the car to the garage, they will only have the big van, and they can't drive that so great....especially all the way to the small city. I COULD drive the big van so they could they could take her in the small van...then she told me she cannot miss track practice...

Details....the details of life. They do have to be worked out. I feel like I need a striped shirt and a whistle and a big stick and a megaphone and a podium and a conductor's wand.....

Today I went shopping and remembered contact solution, fabric softener, nasal mist for after Aaron's surgery, his antibiotics, half and half for the coffee....but I forgot wart medicine...one of the little girls has a few on her hand, and it is almost The End Of The World. And as usual, I don't get a big prize for all the things I did remember to get....

The couch monster is dead and buried. The laundry room is sorted nicely. Only a few more loads to wash. The floors got swept and mopped today. I did the dishwasher a little while ago, again, so tomorrow won't be as stressful for the kids.

My kids see a cleanly mopped floor as a great place to play. Jonathan drags his big bag of train stuff out as soon as that floor gets all picked up and cleaned. The girls spread their dollhouse stuff all across the room. The dog sheds a bit more and tracks in some more dirt and before you know it, it is all undone. That is the story of my life....

I did walk today with Rosie. It walked up the hill twice. The going down part is now harder than the going up is. Because it hurts my knees. Rosie doesn't understand that. She wants to get down that hill. I have to hook the leash around my elbow so she has no room to run. She is a clumsy sort of dog, and she keeps bumping into me as we walk. When I let her leash out, she crosses in front of me when I least expect it. She seems to want to hurt me....I know she isn't evil, but sometimes I get to wondering....

There is so much advice out there in InternetLand about weight loss. Conflicting, opposing, and in all certainy RIGHT. Don't eat oatmeal for breakfast, eat protein/ Eat oatmeal with fruit. Don't drink any milk at all,/drink skim milk. Don't eat for three hours before before bed/ Never go to bed hungry. Cut calories back to 1200/ Don't cut back too far. Stay away from fast food/ Eat fast food once in a while so you don't feel too deprived. Drink diet soda/drink regular soda once in a while (the guy who said this lost 100 pounds), weigh yourself once a week/ weigh yourself ever single day. Never be hungry/ignore the hunger. blah.

Abigail brought over a package of chocolate covered mint cookies. They looked good and they smelled good. It was only a ten ounce package, so I knew if I held out for only a little while, they would be gone. Yup.

Now I am tired, I have stayed up for too long, I have to wash my hair and get to bed and get up early....and just for the record, for all the complaining I do...I wouldn't change a thing about my life. Except for....

sunny morning...

The kiddos went off to school except for Miss Kathryn, who has a headache still. I am thinking she has sinus pressure, perhaps from allergies. The trees are just starting to bud. I have one of those sinus-y headaches, so it is easy to have mercy on Miss Kap.

I decided to switch my breakfast from oatmeal (extremely high-glycemic index) to scrambled eggs and grapefruit. We shall see.

Yesterday I ventured in and got on that scale, and wanted to hurl it out the window. blah. Same exact weight as last week. How can that be? I always thought, all these years, that as soon as I started suffering, the magic would happen. I have read so many blogs about people excercising and eating right and then holding up pants that look way too huge to ever have fit them. So I started reading about why there is sometimes no weight loss, and now I am more confused than ever. It could be that one cuts calories too much, then the body stores more fat in response. This is more prevalent in older people, over 40, wah. I actually started crying last night. But don't feel sorry for me, it feels good to cry every once in a while. And I am not giving up, no sir. I really really had hoped I would have lost like ten pounds by now, but I am not giving up. I shall keep eating small healthy meals, going to the pool, walking, lifting my little ten pound weights....

Yesterday I did twenty minutes of my hilarious work-out, marching and lifting and swinging my arms....then I went on my walk, dragging poor Rosie up the evil hill - not once, not twice, but THREE times. Then, Evelyn and I met Kim and her daughter at the pool for a nice relaxing swim.

My older kids will be the death of me though. They went to cleaning at church last night, and came home hungry. Joseph made bacon, then chicken, Aaron baked peanutbutter cookies with chocolate chips and craisins....and I had one. How could I not? It was so good. Afterward I thought I should have just taken a bite, but too late. Live and learn.

I need to go shopping today. I need to get Aaron's antibiotic prescription filled for him to take after his surgery. There is a youth conference this weekend at church, and our youth group is selling candy bars. So...I have to go buy 200 candy bars. Plus, we are out of bananas, almost out of apples, running low on eggs, and peanutbutter. Kids keep eating food!

Every morning, I read the local newspaper. This sounds morbid, but the obituaries are my favorite part. The World War II vets are dying daily, they are in their mid eighties. One gentleman I read about this morning had served in France and recieved the Purple Heart. I wish I could have met these guys, talked to them, shook their hand, thanked them. I feel the least I can do is read their obituary.

In the paper also this morning, in the Neighbors section, was Benjamin's name! He was mentioned for completing Basic Combat Training in Oklahoma. Oh, the pride! He also passed his EMT (Emergency Medical Technician) exam this week, which was very exciting. He said it was difficult, and he thought he had failed and when he saw that "Congratulations, you have passed", he was elated. He tried to trick me when he called, but I am not that stupid, I can recognize the joy in his voice even when he was telling me how he failed....

My laundry room is almost in A#1 order. I have done load after load of laundry, I am almost caught up. I have weeded through so many clothes, yet it seems like there are more there because they are organized. YAY!

Tomorrow morning I have to be at the hospital with Aaron by 8:30 am. I need to get some balance bars to take with me. It is supposed to be a nice sunny day...blah. Aaron is such a nice boy though. I don't mind.

Now...laundry...excercise....my two little fleecy-jammied princesses are playing Barbies already...they have their shoe boxes with washcloths in them for doll beds. Cuteness.

wet beds and school skippers...

Far be it from me to mention any names, but I have MORE laundry to do.

And since Jonathan had to be picked up early from school yesterday because of a pounding headache, he is home today. Suzanne threw-up twice yesterday. And Sonja...well, she got up and showered and....she is staying home too.

I have been considering starting a second blog, a weight loss blog. Or rather a TRYING to lose weight blog. But for now I shall just stick to this one. If anyone who reads this is anything like my older kids, I shall be recieving comments like, "enough already!".

Yesterday I excercised for twenty minutes. I set out three of the foam squares, and tell the little girls they can't come on to them while Mommy excercises. I run in place and march while doing arm circles, lift the ten pound weights, march again, just keep moving and keep my heart going faster for those twenty minutes. I told the kids they can go ahead and laugh, I know I look hilarious, I do not care. It works up a sweat and gets me moving and feels good. I was planning on going to the pool in the evening, but it didn't work out. So I went on my walk instead.

As far as eating goes, I have not been cheating. Yesterday I had:

1/2 cup of oatmeal with two tablespoons of crunchy peanutputter, and some brown sugar. Coffee with skim milk and some half/half.

Two slices of whole grain bread (130 calories), 40 calories worth of sliced low-fat ham, a very small apple, and a half glass of skim milk.

A 90 calorie low-fat yogurt.

Dinner: boneless skinless chicken, one teaspoon (just a taste) of pasta, big pile of broccoli with no butter, a few tablespoons of mixed veggies.

Snack: 5 cups of hot air popcorn(155 calories) with small amount of butter. This was the cheaty-est thing I have had in two weeks. But it seemed like calorie-wise I could sneak it in, and it was good. It satisfied me to finally try out the new hot air popper. I will not be making it a daily habit.

I usually try to fit in more fruits and veggies. But that popcorn was good! Mirielle made cookies to send to Benjamin yesterday, and the house smelled so good! She put one aside for me, and I said politely, "No thank-you." It is hard to say no when someone is offering. She had made some really beautiful cookies, I did admire the way they didn't flatten out, and they were baked to perfection. But I just didn't want to waste calories on a cookie. It wasn't really killing me to say No, so I just didn't have one. Soon they were all packed up and ready to send, and the temptation was over!

So you see why I should have lose like fifty pounds by now.

I am so tempted to go and weigh myself again. But what if it is the same, or even higher??! blah. I know, patience. Patience.

My kids are growing up. Aaron and Mali have to go in for check-up/immunization boosters to be ready for nursing school. They are going in this afternoon. Aaron just drove the minivan to school, and they are leaving early and going to the dr. By themselves.

Mali is going to the prom in a few weeks. My sister is making her dress for her. We haven't even bought the fabric yet. I need to get going on that.

I spent hours in that laundry room yesterday, weeding through clothes that are hanging up and on the shelves. I get so sentimentally attatched to the clothes. I can hold up a shirt and remember how happy Margaret was when I got it for her...and how cute Jonny looked in those little shorts...the saddest things are the ones Camille has outgrown....at least Jon's things can be given to my little nephew. I have been throwing away things that are frayed or stained or they just plain won't wear. A set of bumper-pads on the shelf...wah! I still have more to sort through, but it feels so good to get it in order.

I remember the years when doing jobs like this was almost impossible. Between nursing babies and busy toddlers, it is no wonder I developed the habit of just putting things places.

Today I shall try to slay the couch monster. I shall finish my fourth and final library book during the afternoon, when I let them watch a movie (see, I can plan things....). I shall get some bedding washed, and perhaps finish up the laundry room. Meanwhile the rest of the house will get messier because there is only one of me....blah.

laundry laundry everywhere....

Cleaning and sorting the laundry room is not the hard part. No, the hard part is washing all the clothes afterward. No, actually the hard part is putting them all away. The couch monster is growing again....a pile of clean towels, some other stuff...and I can just hear some of you more organized types saying, "Just put the stuff away already!"

My knees are sore. One of them is rather sticky, it clicks together and has to be straightened carefully. I am hoping I can still go on my walk... I mean, I get all this resolve to suffer and get into shape, and my own body rebels.

My kids are sick and tired of hearing about my new endeavor to lose weight. They all look at each other and raise eyebrows. Or come right out and say, MOM! They talked me into opening the huge bag of Snicker Square peanut butter bars last night. I was saving them for their Easter baskets. A 52 ounce bag. I was nervous. I don't do well around candy. After they all had a few, I counted out three each for the kids who were at soccer, that made twelve, then put 14 into a baggie for Jon to bring to school for his class party (no one in his class has peanut allergies). They were all gone! Yay! So I had a handful of chocolate chips. blah. (they were so good though....)

I had to drive Mali to school this morning. She had a field trip to the hospital today called, "Let's Not Meet By Accident", then lunch at Wegmans but she missed the bus...so I was nice and drove her to school.

Kathryn and Suzanne are home again. They just don't feel so well. Dizzy and naseaus, then better, then not so great. Kathryn says it is easy to catch up on her school work, she is in seventh grade. Suze is in fourth grade and gets excellent grades too. She is just dragging though, and I hate to send her if she is feeling lousy.

Kathryn has braided Char's hair, and is now braiding Rapunzel's hair. The little girls have shoeboxes with washcloths in them for dolly beds. They simply do not get bored.

I am off to put load #3 of laundry in for the day.......