dear world, my son is in afghanistan....

and I feel like I am there too. It helps me that he talks about his experiences, because I would do anything in my power to help him cope. Listening and praying for him like mad are about the only things I can do. So I listen. And I cry.

He went on a mission. A long hard mission. After clearing two villages, they trekked across the country...a dozen or so army soldiers following a few dozen afghan soldiers. Ben was near the back. He saw the smoke wisping up through the air before he heard the explosion. He heard screaming and cries for the medic. He ran. A sergeant was down. He was like a father to a few of the guys...and those guys were screaming at Ben to Do Something Doc. Now, the Horrid Evil Enemy plants the IEDs with much destruction in mind. When one goes off, there is sure to be more in the vicinity to purposefully get any rescuers blown up too. So Ben wasn't able to rush to the fallen soldier as quickly as he wanted to. All he heard were the pleas of the men, and the screams of the Sgt. Long story short: a lost foot, a gaping wound in his midsection. After securing an open place for the 'copter to land, they dragged him over and waited the longest twenty minutes in Benjamin's life.

World, Benjamin wasn't able to go back to his base, crawl in bed, and deal. No, he cried. Then he joined the line of soldiers to clear another two towns. He said he is fine now. He saved a guy's life, he did his best.

Dear world, this broke my heart. No one can go through that and be "fine now".

He sounds hardened. My boy. He says other guys have seen worse. Other guys have died. He says that he still has his feet, he is fine.

I know he is not fine. I know that he will have to deal with these things. I know that he will never be the same. I know that he will have no patience for the usual things people whine about.

He says he hears every few days about another guy getting blown up. Said last week seven guys stepped on a daisy chain IED. Lost alot of limbs, one soldier blind. He said this as if it is just a fact of life over there.

Dear world...why? Is this accomplishing anything? Did God really create the world so that men can destroy each other?

I know Ben has seen even more than I know about. Ha, after me writing this he might never tell me anything again.

But I just thought it would help me to write this. People ask me, "How is Ben doing?" Well...how can I answer that?

I am hoping and praying that he comes home safely. I pray all the time that he keeps his connection with God through all these things. I pray that the softness and goodness that is my Benjamin will stay in him, tucked away, and be able to flourish later, when he joins the rest of the world in living Real Life.

Please join me in praying for him, and for the other guys over there. And for the rest of us too...that we can each be awake to fight our own good fights....because ultimately, good will triumph over evil. Let's be along in the good.