because this is my blog, my unpopular opinion is...abortion is wrong.

I am disgusted at the new abortion laws in New York state. Absolutely abhorrent, and to call it "choice", ugh. Pro life is a no-brainer, to me. You make the choice when you choose to dance, even Ma Ingalls said, "Those who dance must pay the fiddler." But these days, heaven forbid you are saddled with an "unplanned" pregnancy. See, when you light a match to a stick of dynamite, the dynamite explodes. Things happen when things happen. duh. So if you don't want it to happen, stay away from the dynamite.

I can't help relating to it on a personal level. If you've been reading this for a while, you know I've lost some babies. The first loss was our third child, when Emily and Abigail were small. I was 12 weeks along, and out of the blue, on a Friday evening while serving dinner, I started spotting then bleeding and cramping, and I'll spare the worse of it, but a tiny little baby was "born", a miniature, fully formed almost translucent infant. At the time, suffering physically, being terrified, and grief-stricken, I literally wailed my head off when I saw it. I only controlled myself because my mom was in the living room with the little girls...we went to the hospital for an emergency D&C for the placenta.

It was hard. It was sad. I can't unsee it, that baby of ours. I couldn't talk about it, who wants to hear it? A friend asked me a few days later why it was such a big deal, she had heard that miscarrying was just like having a heavy period. Okay, whatever. Life went on. I had Benjamin a year later, his due date was the exact date I lost that little one, a year later. And guess what? Benjamin was a TREASURE.

Now, you can imagine how horrified I am that women CHOOSE to actually and purposefully KILL their little babies, because....whatever, their reasons, I cannot, simply cannot fathom it.

I lost four more babies to miscarriage. The last one, I had already had a sonogram and that little heart beat, oh the joy! Then the loss. So. much. pain, the tears, the sadness. Again, who would do that on purpose? The helpless little baby...do these women think babies don't feel pain when they're killed?

And baby Robert...7 months along, and all of the sudden he had no heartbeat. Delivering him had to have been the absolute lowest point of my life. If I could have sold my own soul to have that floppy little sweetheart take a breath and open his eyes, I would have. It was sheer torture. I loved him with all of my heart, and no amount of wishing or snuggling could change anything. He was gone, and I was shattered.

Are these other women simply stronger than I am? Or are their hearts made of stone? Have they believed the lie that it's okay to do this because it's not convenient for them? And don't even tell me the sob stories about those who were raped...it's extremely uncommon, and I have actually known someone who decided to keep the baby, that baby has grown up to be one of life's greatest blessings.

How...how can they sleep at night? I know some younger women might have done this without fully comprehending their actions, and may have realized at some point and are sorry...but what kind of society are we who reassure these youngsters that it's OKAY to have an abortion? That it's actually their right, their choice.

But speak out against the behaviors that lead to these unwanted pregnancies, and whoa! You're prudish, you're old fashioned. And if you're a Christian too, get out, shut up.

Speaking out against abortion is not in vogue.

But here's a thought....approximately half the babies aborted are girls...what about THEIR choices?

And here's another thought: one in FOUR pregnancies in New York state ends in an abortion.

I honestly can't believe it's a real thing, to scoop out a baby because you don't want it. And now that it's legal in New York all the way until birth, as long as a doctor agrees, and now it doesn't have to even be a doctor, it's ambiguous who can perform the abortion, the baby can be killed at any stage of pregnancy. Gruesome doesn't even begin to describe it.

It's like a nightmare, something I cannot fathom. And here's what I think: Jesus is coming back soon. Evil is taking hold on the earth, and if you speak out against it,...you are a women hater....when it's absolutely the opposite.

So today, I am crying for all the babies, and observing with great sadness as New York slides further into moral decay.