summer 2011

summer 2011

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Friday, December 18, 2015

ah when it rains...

It pours. Not all stories are mine to tell. Joseph, my fifth born child, who is really all grown up now, the artist, has broken a molar, and has been suffering immensely. I'll spare the details, but he hasn't been able to get into the dentist...he's on the phone now trying to figure something out, after another sleepless night.

And me...well, I have been having this pain in my side on and off for quite a while. It has gotten really bad in the last few weeks. I tried my usual strategy, which is to ignore it and it will go away. When that didn't work, I procrastinated a little. When the pain flared up, like in the middle of the night, I would be all like, yes, I need to call the dr. Then in the morning, it wouldn't seem so bad, and well, I'll be fine. But the other night, I had several sleepless hours, so...I called the dr. in the morning, and there was an opening for yesterday afternoon.

My blood pressure was 124/72, and I lost another 12 pounds since early July (as per their records, I have lost a total of 76 pounds) (remember, I had lost more, was 8 pounds less than I am now, but started that dreaded re-gain....until I got serious again) But the point of the visit wasn't weight nor blood pressure, it was this pain...we decided it is probably an ovarian cyst. Which led me to schedule a sonogram at the hospital next week. It also led me to read lots of scary stuff online. So of course the thoughts minute I'm all but dead and buried, and the next I'm certain that it's just a painful cyst.

I saw a quote recently that went along the lines of...You can have faith or you can worry, but you can't do both.

God does know the beginning and the end, so why is it so hard for me not to know?

My sonogram isn't until next week, but I have to call the GYN for an appointment too. I'll be asking some questions, perhaps I can be seen earlier just in case this is more of an emergency, because sometimes it hurts quite badly. The horror stories I read into the night last night! Of things bursting! Of huge tumors! Ha, I hope if I have a tumor it's a huge-0 one and I'll instantly lose like 20 pounds. That would explain a lot, ha. But seriously, it does put things in perspective. I'm not going to Go There, I'm not going to start in on the, 'What if this is my last Christmas" garbage, but believe me, those little headlines float across the inside of my forehead.

But today, I have more pressing things to attend to. I was supposed to do the shopping for Sunday's Christmas celebration at church, with Costco, our favorite place. I have been looking forward to it all week. But Joseph is on the phone getting a referral to an oral surgeon, he's in some serious pain...okay. He's going in today...and he's not supposed to drive himself. Camille has to see the orthopedic doctor for an x-ray this morning to see how her ankle is healing, then over to the oral surgeon with Joseph. The minivan needs an oil change desperately, so we'll do that too.

I can't help but wonder that if...if my number was up sooner rather than would this machine run without me? It's a sobering thought that the world can run just fine without each and every one of us, but it would really put a damper on this house...I mean, last night, as the rest of the family was retiring to bed, I was mixing up a double batch of chocolate chocolate chip cookies for Evelyn, because I knew today was all booked up, and she needed dessert for tonight's girls' party.

Anyhoo...on to happier things. After my appointment, being all by my lonesome, I took the opportunity to stop into the craft store...I had a $10 rewards I had lots of fun for only seven dollars. Ornaments for the mini Christmas tree, which the princesses use for their dolls...a few candles, some ornaments...then I meandered into Walmart to get stuff to make fudge for our church friends. I also got a few small gifts...

Ten pounds of fudge on the kitchen table in covered containers, ready to wrap up in smaller tins for our friends. Five pounds of regular, five of mint.

So now I need to get moving and get out the door with Joseph, Jonathan, Char, and Camille. Cam needs a shower, which requires taking off her cast and holding on to her so she can balance on one foot. I can make them raisin toast to eat in the van. I also need to call the dr. for me quick before I leave. Hurry hurry hurry.

Emily, if you read this, I hope I can still go with you...after Joe's appointment, if it doesn't take too long. They might be just giving him something for the pain and scheduling him for next week. Please wait for me, I wanna go to Costco!


Lisa said...

You crack me up! I was convinced my uterus would weigh about 40 lbs when I had the hysterectomy last June (after all, I was told it was enlarged AND there were cysts that weren't supposed to be there too), but alas, it was probably about 3 oz because the numbers on the scale did not move a bit. Wouldn't that be really, really great though???

I'm not going to say not to worry, worry has a way of creeping up at the most unexpected times. Just try not to. Keeping busy helps and you sure are busy!

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to tell you back in 2009 I started having terrible pain in my side to the point I ended up in the er with severe pain. Found out it was a huge tumor connected to my ovary. Thank God it didn't end being cancer so they took out the soccor size tumor and did a complete hysterectomy. Please do have it checked out because the pain will most likely only get worse if you do have something like I did. God bless you and your family and have a wonderful Christmas.

Susan R said...

Oh Della, you have been on mind mind all day since I first read this entry. I am praying that you will experience peace until you get the results of the sonogram. Just try to live in the day which is enough for any of us. Please stay off the internet medical sites, that serves no purpose except to frighten you. You are addressing the problem now and that is enough. {{{{{Della}}}}}

16 blessings'mom said...

Lisa, a hysterectomy, ugh. And 3 oz is like a rip-off.:) Jeanette, you too, a hysterectomy...I bet you felt better after getting that out of there, after recovery...Susan, you are too kind. And about the medical sites, I know there is scary stuff, but I also like to learn things so I can make better decisions about things as they arise, and also to ask the right questions. Thank you all for your concern, it does warm my heart.