good morning!

I have decided to be happy today, even though my weekly weigh-in is blah. I lost a lousy half a pound. No fair. I have to work hard to trick this comfortable body of mine, this body that does not want to change. So I am looking at it like this: Yay, I lost a half a pound!

Yesterday, I did my mile walk, as fast as I could go. Then I exercised later, some lunges and crunches, ect, for 25 minutes. Then to the pool in the evening. Charlotte Claire and Camille brought baby dolls with them. They let their babies jump in from the side, and they taught them to swim. Abigail met us there after work. Sam and a few of the girls played basketball while some of us swam. Miss Camille had herself a little tantrum because she did not want to leave...

Before we left for the pool, the kids were playing in the sprinkler in the yard. It hit 90 degrees, and when they got off the bus, their faces were all hot and flushed...I was glad I had planned to take them swimming.

Today...no plans. But I do need to get to the store, again. I am out of frozen strawberries (I like to put four or five in a bowl, microwave them a little until they can be cut up easily, then add a low-fat sugar free yogurt to them...and sometimes toasted almonds, or a bit of coconut)...and I am also out of blueberries, which are so good microwaved with my oatmeal. We are running out of eggs, and our fruit supply is almost depleted. We do spend an unGodly amount of money on food, but I figure it is an investment in our health. Fresh fruit and veggies are so expensive, but I try to buy what is in season, or keep the salads simple. Winter salads don't have tomatoes in them, but cucumbers and green peppers. Peppers are always $3.99 for six at Wegman's.

Good news!!! My hot tub is getting fixed!!! Finally!! Thomas came over last night to look at it. He is going to come back some time this week. There is just a broken pipe, but it is hard to get to, and the whole heavy thing has to be jacked up and put on blocks to be worked on. At least I HOPE it is just a broken pipe. It has been out of service for like two years!!! My only nice thing, that hot tub. My favorite thing. I mean, sitting out there in the steaming bubbles, looking up at the stars...we have had some really fun times in there. No distractions, so we have had some nice conversations in there. The littler kids use it like a pool, going underwater and swimming around.

I read an article this morning about sleep deprivation. Long term not-enough-sleep is very bad for one's health. It raises blood sugars and contributes to poor decision making (I knew that!). Weight gain is an obvious result. I already knew this! But it is nice that someone did a study and got the same results. I totally blame my weight gain on lack of sleep, followed by being so busy for all those years. I was so tired, I just ate what was there. Usually toast and bagels, or cookies. And I WAS pregnant...um...22 times. (16 kids, one stillborn baby, and five miscarriages). All I craved in those pregnancies: carbs. No salads or veggies, just plain simple carbs. Lovely, right? And hey, back in the day, it was commonly thought that low-fat, high carb was the way to go. ouch. Anyway, now that I have firmly established my excuses....I shall take some of the blame. I did give in to donuts. And I baked cookies AND ate them. I didn't exercise, except to walk around in stores and chase the kids. I ate before bed if I felt like it, especially popcorn.

Now, however, I have smartened up a bit. Took me long enough. I just wish the pounds would fall off quicker.

Camille is having a little after-breakfast snack of a tiny chocolate bunny. I want a bite. But if I wait a few minutes, she will have eaten that little bunny, and I will be fine. (shouldn't I lose like four pounds just for this suffering alone??!)

Pounds falling off or not, I shall exercise this morning. It is good for my heart, and gives me energy. It probably lowers my blood sugars too. I read some weight-loss success stories this morning on Shape-fit, and am encouraged. I avoid those doomsday stories that indicate that most people that lose weight gain it back.

One of our good friends just got back from a year deployment in Afghanistan! He is in the Army, is married with two kids. I saw him on Sunday, and it was so so good to have him back! He left the Kandahar Airport the DAY BEFORE Benjamin arrived there! They just missed each other. They were good friends growing up...still friends, but their paths haven't crossed in quite a while. Anyway, Matt seems so much more....grown-up. And it was so good to see him.

I think of my Benjamin like twenty times a day. Things over there are heating up, with NATO and the American soldiers trying to get things accomplished in a hurry before the troops start pulling out. The Bad Guys also get really attack-y and bomb-y in the springtime....sometimes next December seems like years away...day after day of him being there...I am really laboring to be at rest about him. It doesn't come naturally, it is a fight. Each thought that comes, I have to just commit to God. I pray for that kid, and I pray for me...because I do not want that spirit of fear to have any ground in my heart.

Now...enough procrastinating, I have things to do and a Camille to play with...