I'll tell you a tale, a very sad woe, a true story.
This fine day, after taking a morning swim and doing some of my aerobic exercises in the nice warm water in the beautiful sunshine, I took Miss Camille to her physical therapy session. I'll skip over the boring routine that started the day, you know, sweeping and cleaning up and doing some laundry. I will stop in on a few points: talking with Mr. Grant, and holding Miss Ruth a few (several) times, she's a busy one. Samuel had his first day of work today, which is a whole 'other tale. (Grace was on her own with the kids, and was taking them to the beach to meet Kathryn with her two little ones, and Molly Rose with her two little ones, and also Emily went...)....but ANYWAY. After P.T., I came home and picked up Sonja K. and Charlotte Claire, and off we went, to Target!
Target is always fun, in my humble opinion. When you're with a college student who is almost done with her summer class (and doing well in it, a pharmaceutical class!), and two girls who are done for the summer, well, there is just a joy. Plus, all the bathing suits were 50% off! I told the girls they could pick one out, so they got busy perusing the racks. I found some myself, to try on. A few bikini tops: I'm not brave enough for the general public, but I'll put one on for our pool now, those big granny suits are hot. Hot, but not hot, ha.
Anyway. I picked out a few tops, a few bottoms, and a one piece gingham suit that was too cute. Well, things on the hangars might be cute, but put them on ME, and whoa! Eeks and ouch, where did those rolls come from? I wasn't too surprised that I didn't look like a million bucks, but the bright lights and the big mirrors are pretty honest, and oh well. I might have gotten just one of the tops for the back yard...then, I heard it, a loud-mouthed woman: Oh my GOD, this makes me look horrible, the rolls, the fat it shows! I don't look as bad as those girls in Walmart yesterday, did you see them? They were horribly fat, letting it all hang out, the rolls and the jiggles, oh my GOD, disgusting....(barfing noises), at least I don't look THAT bad...another voice: Mom, STOP, just stop! (she didn't stop). daughter again pleaded: STOP, MOM! From my changing stall, I said loudly, "Thank you!" There was dead silence in the change room. The girl started whispering furiously to the mom, told her she couldn't say things like that....but it was too late. Her words hurt. She was mean. I can't believe someone, in this day and age, could be so MEAN about fat people. I stood there, a big grown lady, who knows full well about sticks and stones, and I started sobbing. I stared at myself, all previously hopeful in that bathing suit top, and felt the full impact of those words....rolls. jiggles. disgusting.
Then I decided anew to NOT care what people think about me, but I was still very sad that someone could be so mean. I've experienced meanness from online, but wow, such vehemence! Such anger, and coldness! wow. She wasn't even talking about me, but shh, I did wonder: Gee, was I in Walmart yesterday?
When I caught up with my girls and told them about it, I got a bit upset again. Fat shaming is not okay. The poor daughter. Anyway. She wasn't going to steal the joy out of our Target outing.
We bought two new floats for the pool, some bubbles for the grandkids. We went to the grocery store for a few things, and the girls ordered some fries and onion rings...I cannot believe how many they got, for two dollars and something each...!
(Char and Cam)(No, they did not eat them all, they brought them home and shared)
Last evening, Paul and I babysat for three grandsons for the evening. I made pan-fried pork chops, cubed seasoned sweet potatoes in the air fryer, asparagus, and served unsweetened applesauce. Guess what they liked the best? Wulf said, " Grandma, you make the BEST applesauce!" yes, Wulf, I buy it at Aldi, and open the jar.
They got along quite well, were a bit rambunctious, but played nicely too.
Ruth and Rhys...
I was sad to miss the beach outing, but with Camille's PT at noon, I couldn't make it. That's okay. I love grandchildren time, but sometimes being with the younger kids is pretty special too.
This day went by too fast. We had a glorious day, warm and sunny and not humid. I grilled burgers for dinner for Paul and I, and cut up baby cucumbers, carrots, and radishes. Jonathan and Charlotte Claire made a pepperoni pizza, and a cheese pizza, with garlic crusts.
Anyway. I wonder if the lady in the change room had mental problems, I don't know. It crossed my mind, when I realized she was leaving, to open my door and confront her. The "B" word that rhymes with witch came to mind, but I immediately ran that by God, and He didn't approve. What can I learn from this? I can't help that it hurt my feelings, but now I CAN help where my thoughts go. I can learn to be careful with my own daughters, and never ever let judgy-wudgy words come out against other people. We need to uplift each other, bear one another's burdens, and remember that love covers a multitude of sins. The cry of my heart, "Dear Lord, help me to judge myself, and not others, and not return evil for evil..."
10 comments:
I am so sorry you experienced that yesterday. I love that you were able to turn it around and look at what you could learn from it. I can only hope the other woman will do the same thing! Sometimes people forget how very much words can hurt...
Why are some people like that? At least her daughters knew enough not to join in. And maybe she'll think twice before doing it again after you spoke up.
One thing that I have learned during my 37 years in the educational field is that people who were "mean girls" as children and teens will continue that behavior into adulthood. I have observed 4-year-olds in the TK class smile sweetly in the direction of their teacher as they whisper "you're ugly" or "I hate you" into their classmate's ear. This behavior had to have been modeled by older siblings or parents. We had one set of parents who were notorious for bullying behavior especially toward young and inexperienced teachers. They could just smell fear and insecurity. (And the father was a high school principal!). It seems to be particularly acceptable to fat shame others these days. I am glad that you didn't confront the woman in the dressing room, however. Her daughter would have been mortified more than she already was.
Laurie in California
Maureen, I myself forgot that such meanness exists in this world, although of course we all have that potential...it's awful.
Mari, I hope she does think twice.
Laurie, I am also glad I didn't say anything to the lady, you make an excellent point about her daughter, it would have been horrible. She has enough to deal with, I can't imagine how she will untangle all the damage her mom must've done all her life with those views....
What?!!! Fie, for shame! on that lady. I'm so sorry that happened. Although I had to grin at "I ran it by God and He didn't approve." Good job!! You took the higher road. And yes, bathing suits always seem to be a challenge when summer arrives. I hope you do buy a cute top so you can enjoy your own pool as you like, which goodness knows you have a right to do.
BTW...my sister Annetta is in your neck of the woods, I believe. I hope your paths cross sometime. She is delightful. :)
Joy from Salem
Joy, I have not met Annetta yet, but Emily worked with her for a barbecue the other night for the young people, rave reviews! We are having exciting things happen here, so much fun and so much going on! Right now I have a flat tire, and am waiting for a tow truck...never a dull one!
Hi Della! I’m sorry you had to listen to that women’s horrible comments. We can’t do anything about the things other people do and say, only how we react to them and you took the high road. GOOD FOR YOU!! 🥰🥰 You buy any bathing suit you want 🥰🥰
All the pictures of the little grands at the beach are adorable! Of course they are!
So here’s something to make you smile……….my 2 daughters are in Africa!!! A lifelong dream finally came to pass. They were supposed to go in 2020 for my youngest daughter’s 50th birthday, but no travelling then or 2021 so they are finally there. They are just outside Nairobi at a place called Giraffe Manor. Google it!! So amazing. They went to an orphan elephant reserve and watched the baby elephants have their bottles!! Oh Della the pictures and the videos are so wonderful! I will keep you posted on their adventures if you like. They are going on a 2 different safari’s and hiking through the jungle for interactions with the mountain gorillas 🦍 They will be away almost 4 weeks.
You have a wonderful day…..🌞🌞🌞🌞
Marilyn from Canada 🇨🇦
I'm so sorry that happened to you! You showed great restraint though! 🤗
Valerie
I am glad that nasty woman's daughter has some common sense and compassion. Good grief, she must not like herself very much. The little ones on the beach are adorable!! I love that your kids are all so close. You are a beautiful woman and don't forget it!!
Marilyn, they didn't take you with them?! No fair! It sounds like a dream come true, and finally! Two of my girls went to South Africa a few years ago, but a much shorter trip. I would love love love to hear the details! Mountain gorillas, yes! I am looking forward to hearing about it all!
Valerie, I'm glad I did think before I reacted, or it would have been ugly, and not good for that poor daughter, or for the lady either, she can't help that she is like that.
Terri, I know, she sounded miserable. Thank you for your kind words.
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