stormy saturday

Due to the stormy afternoon forecast, the birthday party is postponed until tomorrow, which promises to be 68 degrees and sunny. We're having 8 kids over, and added to our bunch, outside is a better place for a party. It is so pretty outside right now. The green of the leaves is so fragile and light....the pear tree is blossoming, and the bush with the yellow flowers is in full bloom, whatever it is callled. And the tulips are blooming as the daffodils fade. The dandelions are sprouting, it's time for mowing the lawn. I personally don't see dandelions as weeds. Probably because I haven't quite grown up yet. I admit I don't like how the stems stain clothes (did you know that? the invisible liquid in the stem magically creates black stains on clothes, especially cute, new clothes)....but I still like to pick them and do the "mamma had a baby and it's head popped off'' thing....and when the kids pick me a bouquet, I pretend delight.

The little girls have worked hard on their room, and of course that spurs them to play in there, which in turn messes it up again. And so goes life. I need encouragement to look at the big picture here, not just the piles of trials...sometimes I think it would more satisfying to have an occupation in which all one labors for is more permanent, more lasting....I mean, I swept and mopped the floor....and when I do a job like that, I don't just start, work, finish. I stop to get Charlotte in the high chair, cut a bagel for Sonja, wipe Jon, stop a fight.....then, when the job is done, it doesn't STAY done. I suppose that is the same with everything, after all, nothing lasts forever. But sometimes it seems like the forces of the universe are arrayed against my efforts to keep this place nice and shiny. But when I get a glimpse of the big picture, when I get my vision fixed on the Heavenly things, wow. What a difference. I am preaching myself out of feeling sorry for myself here. I feel tired, and sick of all of the work. But I need to persevere, and not grow weary of doing good. God has given me these children, and He will give me the strength and wisdom to raise them. I just have to remember that just because I think things should be a certain way, that's not neccessarily how God has it go for me. Does He really care if the floor is spotless? Will I get bonus points in Heaven? No, He wants me to take things right! He wants me to be thankful. Did you ever try to mix thankfulness with complaining? It is impossible. Thankfulness is full of power from God, power that overcomes all whining and complaining. I am glad I sat down and wrote this, and thought a bit about how I'm feeling today. I still may cry about something stupid, because emotions are real and alive, but I will not give in to feeling sorry for myself. I will believe God, that he has given me everything I need.