summer 2011

summer 2011

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012
family

Friday, March 16, 2018

randomness....

Sometimes I wonder how people who don't write, sort out their thoughts. I think of this blog like a huge colander for the things that swirl around in my head. I sit here with no idea what will come out through my fingers onto the screen, then things become clear as I read what I have written. I rarely edit, which is probably obvious.

Today, I am thinking about how much I like life. I was getting cream for my coffee this morning, standing there in the kitchen with one hand on the refrigerator door and the other on my lower back, and I realized just how fortunate I am. It came like a lightening bolt...standing there in a warm kitchen, pouring hot coffee, with two sweet kitties rubbing against my legs. That I am a lucky girl.

I am excited for the days to come. Margaret and Adrian are having their baby soon, and Lydia was here with her mama, Mali, last night, lighting up the house, and Anya almost came over but was still recovering from being sick...these little ones, I love them! And I was thinking about going out to visit my son Aaron...they are buying a house in Eugene, Oregon, moving from California. I was thinking of the camp we are renting in June, in the Adirondacks. I was thinking of the sisters' conference coming up in May, on the weekend that Emily graduates...finally, she'll be a nurse practitioner!

Spring...I was also thinking of spring. Today we are getting a bit more snow, it's dark and gloomy, with big fat snowflakes falling on the snow we already have. Joseph just got back from the gym a half an hour ago, and his car is covered again. It's not windy or blizzard-y, just snow.

I have always been a thinker of about mortality, lived with a knowledge that our days are numbered. And not to be dramatic, but with this possibility of endometrial cancer, I have decided even more to live life to the fullest, even if it's just a day here at home. It's too easy to just go through the motions, to live in such a take-it-for-granted way. I can talk to my kids without really hearing what I'm saying, and without seeing the effect it has on them. I've been working on actually connecting with each of them, listening to them, pulling them in for a hug...although with teenage girls this isn't always what they want, ha.

I've noticed that we can live with the same background thoughts streaming perpetually in our heads without even noticing that we live by them: he's this way, she always says that, no one listens to me, I'm tired of making dinner, wah wah wah.

But when I decide to have new thoughts, to bless more, to think less of myself, to say NO to being offended, to fight tooth and nail against all that would divide, which is MY OWN SIN...things go so much better. We just walk around with these little demands inside, that other people should be different...and we miss out on what we SHOULD be aware of, which is how annoying and demanding WE are.

Yesterday, we went on a small outing, mostly wanting to get out of the house. For one thing, I saw my sister in Bed Bath and Beyond, checking out the clearance, it was so nice to see her. She had to leave though, was with a daughter who had to get to work...then she texted me a little while later and said, "Open your window". I texted back, "We're in Marshalls." She replied, "Oops so who is that 2 cars behind us in McDonald's that we're waving to?:):):)" ha.

In Marshalls, which I was scouting looking for tights for Sonja, and of course who can resist looking at their housewares and home decorations?...anyway, I went to walk down one aisle, and there were two people blocking the aisle, talking...so I tried the next aisle, and same thing. I grumbled about it as I decided out loud to just skip those aisles. Then I realized, loud and clear, how ridiculous I was being. Those people have every right to shop, to converse...I thought to myself, after seeing how jerky I was being, "Do you really want to turn into a miserable, complaining old lady?"

Anyway. Life is interesting. And I decided, for the umpteenth time, to make the most out of the days.

Yesterday when we got home, Miss Anne, who had taken just a little nap in the van, decided NOT to go back to sleep here for a nap. She was fine though, playing dollhouse and walking around singing here ABC's. Charlotte decided to make peanut butter cookies all by herself. I decided to let her, which meant staying out of the kitchen, so I didn't end up micromanaging. Well, she made beautiful cookies, picture perfect...but she added 1/2 TABLESPOON of salt instead of 1/2 TEASPOON. oops. So to fix it, after the first batch baked, she added baking cocoa and more brown sugar to the rest of the batter, and it helped alot. And, hopefully she learned!:)

I made chicken soup...I cut up the whole package (six pounds) of chicken breast into cubes, dredged in flour and salt and pepper, and browned it up in batches, in olive oil...then put it into chicken broth, then added fresh sliced carrots, which Camille cut up for me. (they like to watch Master Chef Jr., what can I say?) I cooked egg noodles on the side, so the whole soup didn't get mushy, and also steamed some broccoli. It was a warm yummy dinner...Margaret and Adrian, and Mali and Lydia were here.

I bought some new slippers in Marshall's for four dollars...happiness. I am a scuffling-around-slipper-wearer. I would rather be barefoot, but the floors, mostly the tiles in the kitchen, are too cold.

Our last stop yesterday was the grocery store. We have a chain here in the Northeast, Wegman's. You can't dislike Wegman's. They price all the essentials moderately, but also have the really high end stuff, their produce is beautiful, their meat is excellent, they don't really have sales, just all the time good value, and their stores feel warm and welcoming. Their fresh Italian bread is head and shoulders above other supermarket bread. Their own store made hot sausage is delicious, the chicken breast is always $1.99 a pound, burger is equally cheap. You can go through the store quickly and get what you need without breaking the bank, although you can easily do that too.

Anne sang her way through Wegman's. She charmed the cashier, and the cashier one over, with her sweet little voice, as she tried in vain to reach the check-out candy and the buttons on the card reader. I love her to pieces, but bringing her bye-bye makes me wonder how I managed for all those years...by the time most of mine were her age (18 months), I would have had a newborn too, sometimes a three month old, and then of course there would be the almost-three-year old, and the four year old...ha.

Today, Anne is not coming over. We decided to go on an outing that does not include the grocery store, but haven't decided yet what to do....










4 comments:

Anonymous said...

When my daughter visits from Louisiana, she always looks forward to Wegmans! Love that store!

Lisa said...

As someone who doesn't blog, I write in my head all day long...lol I often go over conversations, schedules, issues that are weighing on me, etc over and over until I find clarity. I do, however, sometimes comment on other peoples blogs and it's truly amazing the clarity I find as I'm typing out the words, commiserating with someone else who is experiencing a similar issue. There are many "aha" moments that just seem to settle things in my mind.

I really love reading your randomness. It helps me remember the old days with my kids (and we're essentially the same age so how in the world did I get to be 51 with only 2 kids left at home and you still have a houseful? see!).

16 blessings'mom said...

Leesa, I am a total grocery store geek, and when I travel, I don't like to miss an opportunity to "run to the store", to check out the prices, the different products, ect. In Ireland, I loved going to the Lidl, which is like Aldi...mostly I loved the fatty creamy Irish cream for the coffee, oh yummers. Anyway.

Lisa, I used to think internet friends were fake, un-real, but I have totally changed my mind through the years of blogging. I am thankful to live in this age of technology where we can connect with each other... and when I only have two kids left at home, I don't know what I'll do with myself! But I know it's coming!

tiphaine said...

Della you are a blessing.
I love reading your randomness, there is much wisdom for me to learn from you. thank you.
I keep you in my prayers for your health scare also.