on giving up....

I am in terrible shape. It's the truth. I let the daily walks slip, which is partly understandable, because hey, it's cold out. It's slippery when it's cold, and there's no place to walk with snowbanks on the edge of the road, and we all remember a few years back when I almost got run over by the snowplow. Good thing I was in better shape then, because I was able to hop nimbly into the snowbank, narrowly missing that plow as it barreled down the road. Anyway. I do have excuses, oh a whole barrel of them.

But the bottom line, is this: I am tried of being so out of shape. So on Friday morning, I went for my walk. I huffed up the hill. And I felt great, mentally. I was like, "Oh yeah! Getting back into it! Yes!" Then on Saturday, I walked again. And on Sunday. Then this fine morning, it was 27 degrees out and I had a headache. So I started teetering towards my comfy chair and a cup of coffee. I stood there at the sink washing last night's pasta pan, deliberating with my self. The coffee/chair was the clear winner, then I just said NO to my lazy self. I dried off my hands, took my vitamins with my spoon of coconut oil, got a nice drink of water, and put my sneakers on. I didn't go particularly far, but I walked down the road and up that evil hill. And it made me happy.

As I walked, I reasoned with myself. I may have won the victory this morning, myself told myself, but tomorrow, it might be colder out...ha.

I have had so many stops and starts with this whole Lifestyle Change thing, but the important thing is to never give up. It ain't over 'til it's over. And you have to start somewhere. I know if I keep walking up that hill every day, it'll get easier. My knees don't love it, and it's not pleasant to have achy knees. But. I am not giving up.

Sugar...oh sugar, how I love thee, but when I cut you out, I feel better! It's not fun to turn down the ice cream, but at the end of the day, when I think back on what I ate, it's an amazing feeling to have stood firm and to have eaten cleanly.

Remember, it was only last week when I made a double batch of chocolate half moon cookies, and a batch of vanilla ones. I resisted and resisted, then when I was finishing up frosting the last few cookies, I frosted a chocolate one with vanilla frosting, the homemade buttercream stuff, and it was a saggy cookie, so I deemed it unfit to serve at Margaret and Adrian's baby shower...so I took a bite. Big mistake, because guess what? It was more than delicious. It was supremely yum. I ate the whole thing. Mmmm mmm. After that, I had no more, no more at all, even at the baby shower on Friday night. I was done. But I know very well how fragile I am, and how easy it is to slip into eating things like that. So I take one day at a time, and when I get through a whole day being good, I'm a happy camper.

Anyway. here's a good thing:

This is baby Grant! My sweet little grandson, Samuel's baby. Isn't he adorable? I miss him terribly, he lives in Virginia. :(

Have I ever mentioned how tricky it is to parent teenagers? I have five teenagers at the moment. One of them snapped at me yesterday, one of them who is usually really respectful. I, being the strong mature lady I am, started to get teary-eyed, because it hurt my feelings terribly. So I said nothing, thankfully, because reacting when you're hurting is not always wise. I decided later, after thinking about it a bit, that the teenager wasn't being mean, just reacting also, to something, BUT, as the mom, I needed to point out that it wasn't acceptable, and it won't be tolerated. So later, when it was peaceful, I brought it up, and got a sincere apology.

Four of these teenagers are girls. They're great friends, when they're not snipping and sniping at each other. One LOVES to contradict, she thinks it's her God-given duty to point out the other side of every issue. So her sisters of course have to contra-contradict, and oh the fun. They borrow/steal each other's clothes and shoes and sneaker and boots, and heaven forbid one of them leaves their sister's things in the wrong place or stains it, or loses it...

It's not new. It's the same old story that has been played out here for the last 20 years, just a different cast of characters as the older ones grow up and move out. The two oldest girls, I might add though, didn't fight with each other. They just didn't. They still add ballast to the boat, and goodness and reasonable-ness to the family. Emily is not a fighter, she chooses peace, and goodness. Abigail is a giver, she is a total blessing.

Anyway. Please don't think my teens are awful. They are so full of life and fun and they are good kids. But behind every good kid, is How A Kid Is At Home, and that's not always smooth sailing, ha.

Today, I have to go pick Evelyn up from school so she can go to the town offices and get her residency confirmed for her college classes. Sonja has her first day of physical therapy for her knee, but she can walk from the school, and then to Emily's house, then I'll pick her up. The kids are ready to do lots of school today, and maybe we'll go to the pool....

Have I mentioned how great it is to have the hot tub running? It's grand. I love it.