it is wednesday....

and I haven't left the house and yard since Saturday! That has to be a record for me! I have not put my sandals on in days! I have been outside alot, but shh, I like to go barefoot. Paul stopped for 2 gallons of milk and some bananas after work yesterday, and we are all stocked up on diapers and bread, so no immediate need for a store trip.

I would like to say the days are leisurely, but nah. But they have been good. It should be the easiest time I have had in years, as I usually have had a baby to take care of along with the 19 month old and 3 year old. Does a puppy count? She does take a good chunk of time. Charlotte Claire has had a few tantrums lately. Yesterday I was trying to do the dishwasher and take care of a stack of bowls and pans that apparently I am the only who's noticed, and a big fight broke out. Not really big, just dramatic. Charlotte Claire thinks that if Camille starts playing with her dolly stroller, she can just take it back. Camille does not appreciate this. Camille hits? bites? screams? any combination of the three....and Charlotte Claire does something back....and there is much screaming. I tell Miss C.C. just to let her keep the stroller and I will get her out another one, I mean we have like 10 more. No. She wants HERS! So, she ends up sitting in a kitchen chair. (Meanwhile, the smart mommy is wondering if she made the right decision)...and while she sits there, she is doing this screaming thing. Over and over. (Charlotte Claire, not the mommy) Now, this mommy does not like to spank. This mommy does not really like to send them to their room, either, as angry children like to dump things, and a bedroom should not be used for punishment, especially if the child goes to their nice bed so good for mommy at night. So here's the thing: the mom thinks she HAS to get this job done. She is frustrated. She thinks, "I am just trying to get some work done, I am not sitting around eating bon-bons..." Thus she is justified in her frustration. But wait. Stop. The mom is not frustrated because of the child. She is frustrated because SHE WANTS. This mom needed to pray about her own impatience, and ask God for help. Which she did.

When we see ourselves, and acknowledge that we are the problem...oh, it goes so well. Not that the kids can just tear each other up and we sit there praying, no, we have to take care of things, too. But we have to come to rest in the situation, give up our will, so that God can speak and give wisdom. It is humiliating to see how much impatience and anger I am full of, but it is a good place to be, since God gives grace to the humble, and I certainly need that.

So the question is: what do I want out of this day? Do I want everything to go smoothly, the kids to just behave and let me get things done? No fights, no pee-pee undies, no full cereal bowls elbowed off the table? If this is what I REALLY want, then I will certainly be frustrated when things don't go my way. But deep in my heart, today, I want to be saved. I want to be faithful in each and every temptation, so that goodness and mercy can come out of me instead of snapping and growling. (can you tell I have a puppy?) I want God to do a work in me. There is a line from a song we sing in church, "Let come what may,
along my way,
I'll give my life each day..."

Anyway, it is nice in here right now. Charlotte Claire was sleeping on a pile of blankets in the hall when I got up at 6:30 this morning. She got out of her crib, and must have discovered no one was up yet, so she went back to sleep. I sneaked by her, took Rosie out, came back in, changed Charlotte Claire, put her back to bed, came out and made 8 or 10 plates of cinnamon toast, got clothes out for the girls, woke them up.....Suzanne did not go today. She says her throat hurts. She is playing waffletown with Jonny, it is spread all over the living room floor. Camille is still sleeping, and Rosie is down for her first nap of the day. No, I didn't tuck her in, she just sprawls under the kitchen table every morning for an hours or so after 2 or 3 trips outside and some playing with the kids.

Okay, here are some of the best and worst things...

Best: When my period is done for the month. Over. Phew. (Of course I have had like 22 pregnancies in the last 25 years, so I haven't had to deal with it as much....)

Sitting down with a hot cup of coffee....or stopping at Dunkin'donuts for one....

One of those nice little notes that Suzanne likes to write to me, how much she loves me...

A phone call from my sister-in-law or my sister, or one of my brothers.....just to talk, or
even better, to invite me somewhere....

Worst: Picking up my coffee cup for that last little sip, and wah. Empty.

So confidently changing a pee-pee diaper, only to whip it off and discover, oops! It
was more than pee.

Last night I thought Margaret made no-bake cookies for us for dessert. How nice of
her. I didn't realize they were going to a girls gathering. After dinner, I picked up the
tray and started to pass them out and all the girls yelled at once, STOP mom! The poor
little kids! The girls were nice and let the little ones have one anyway.....

Finding one of those nice Avent or Soothies bottles with chunky milk in them. Yuck.

Well, the day is starting....wait, I have been up for almost three hours.....anyway, here I go.....