sunny and bright july 5th....

Camille and I....we went to church this morning to watch a transmisson of a meeting from Brunstad, Norway, (where 6 of my kids are)...afterwards, we ate a simple picnic lunch, and spent a few hours down by the pools.... Mr. Jonathan....the smaller of the two pools is very shallow, especially for kids. Jon can go in without any floaties, and he likes that.

This is Camille in her floatie suit with a friend of ours, Delandie.
She shared her licorice with him. He is such a nice kid. He is the one who was badly burned in a bonfire at activity club a while back. He is doing much better now, he is a miracle, really.

I hate to admit it, but our puppy likes to watch television.

She is really watching it! Her attention span isn't overly long, but she gets interested in something on the screen, and she just stares....she is getting too big too fast. She is not even 4 months yet.....her paws are huge. She is high maintenance. I have to give her a bath about every other day now. She needs alot of brushing, too, but I don't mind. She likes it, and is learning not to bite the brush.

She is in her cage, I mean crate for the night. The kids are tucked into bed, Paul said goodnight, and here I sit. I cannot remember the last time I was up ALL BY MYSELF. (the Reese's Peanut Butter Cup 8-pack is calling me...but I am NOT listening. I refuse to eat 8 peanutbutter cups.) Anyway, it is quiet. 6 kids across the ocean. Benjamin at work. Hey, maybe he'll bring me home some pizza....anyway, Abigail has Margaret AND Kathryn and Evelyn out staying in the camper at the church conference center now. So dinner was only Paul and I, and Suzanne, Sonja, Jonathan, Charlotte Claire, and Camille. very very quiet. Paul grilled some hot dogs, coneys, some leftover steak, and we had a nice salad, and some leftover Rice-A-Roni. Then the kids had ringpops I had hidden in the cupboard. Suze and Sonja have a fun activity planned for tomorrow: they are going to cut pictures out of old coupon inserts, and store ads, and make posters. They rarely get bored....

Okay, I admit it, I am lonely. I DO appreciate the extra time with Paul, and I DO appreciate the special time with the little ones, they flourish in the attention....BUT. I . MISS. MY. KIDS. It is a cruel trick, raising children....and having them leave. wah. I know, lots of people count the days...but I LIKE my kids, as well as love them. They are my friends! They are nice to me! (usually)....I have not heard any one say, "Maahm!!!" all day! Sometimes they gang up on me, and laugh at me. They laugh at the way I talk on the phone and sweep the floor, sometimes sitting in the swivel chair, trying to reach the hard to reach places without much effort. But they tease me in a good way, never mean-spirited. Sometimes they make me forget that I am 43. I know they are coming back home soon. And I also know they do not miss me like I miss them, because they are having a riot. And that is okay. I can't help think how hard it would be if I only had two or three....it would have gone by already. My oldest three are 24, 22, and 20. Well, only one of them is gone, but still......Abigail is DONE with college (YAY, my daughter has an accounting degree!)(where she got her practicality and thoroughness is beyond me), and looking for a job. Well, she is done with college and starting to think about looking for a job. Benjamin is working delivering pizzas, thinking about joining the Navy. And Mirielle, she has plans. She is not staying in the States forever, that's for sure. wah. But she'll be back. I don't think she'll settle down any place but here....(wishful thinking, hope, what shall we call that?).....Joseph, he may be back in 3 months because of not having a visa to stay longer. I REALLY miss that boy, and he has only been gone for 6 days. Aaron, I am sorry to say, I don't miss that much, only because he had this computer everytime I turned around. And Sam, his is my little boy in a grown up body. He looks way older than 13 almost 14...and I miss him. After all, he is the garbage - taker- outer. Or however you say that.

Oops, I forgot to miss Mali. I miss her too.

And Emily, she has been gone for half of her year now. I personally think a year is WAY too long. I feel sort of punished by her long absence, like I am serving my sentance, doing my time. Yes, I guess I do need a life. But heck, I haven given mine up to raise these guys. And I'd like to mention that the return on that investment is sweet. It has been worth all the lost sleep and the cold dinners and the diapers changed and the worry about fevers, rashes, bumps, concussions......

I admit I am just going on and on here without making much sense. My point is that I do not regret spending my entire life having and raising kids. I feel ripped off that they have to leave, but sort of kiddingly. If they all sucessfully take flight and make their own nests, that is fine with me, as long as they bring their chickies over her to visit gramma once in a while...(wait, they are not all leaving, Camille is only 19 months old!)