It has been an uneventful morning. I dropped a cup that had two layers with glitter between, that was a mess. I changed a diaper, fed and played with Rosie, cuddled the kitty. I made a pot of coffee and spilled coffee grounds all over. I found baby ants on the counter, sprayed them and cleaned up the mess. We put out some ant traps, and Rosie eats them.
I have been reading alot of blogs written by mommies. I really enjoy it. But I am feeling more and more in the minority. It seems like everyone is so into schedules and routines. I hate routines, but I guess in our own way we have some semblance of one. We always clean up the house first if we decide to take off on an adventure...well, usually. I try to divvy up the chores fairly, so no one has to do the same job too many times. I usually just ask different ones according to what makes sense in the moment. We DO eat together every night, even on the busy nights. And we do tuck the kids in and pray with them, after reading stories. But the rest of the day, especially during summer, is free. Oh, sometimes I'll gather them up and tell them it is time to clean up the yard. Yesterday, I decided to empty the hot tub, polish and buff it, and refill it. I didn't even ask for help, but Kathryn, Evelyn, Suzanne, and Sonja came along and helped me bail out the water.
I just like spontanaeity, my favorite word which I mispelled. School starts next Tuesday, and it breaks my heart to send all the kids off. I know everyone is different. But there is just this awful spirit out there that wants things eaisier or smoother, even at the expense of sending the kids out the door......I don't sent my kids to school to get rid of them, but because right now it seems to be the best thing for us...but that is a whole different story...anyway....when we were at the kindergarten thing the other night, the teacher, who I previously loved, stood there and and remarked to all the parents how long the summer has been, and how she knows the parents really are looking forward to school starting....we were dumbfounded at the parents nodding their heads in agreement. Right in front of the kindergarteners....do they think the kids are too stupid to know what this means? That they are trouble, work, bothersome? Paul and I really kicked ourselves later that we didn't speak up. I was also privy to a conversation between a mom who was rejoicing that she finally was putting her last child on the bus to kindergarten, after NINE LONG years at home. She was conversing with a pregnant woman, and she actually apologized for being so happy, seeing that the pregnant woman still had a few years left.....ouch. Ouch for the kids. I would rather have mayhem and spills and messes and noise and those crazy projects they like to do, than send them off to school. Oh, I don't mean I like screaming or fighting, no, my kids have their "inside" voices, and they cannot jump on the furniture or eat in the livingroom. But they are my heart's delight, I enjoy them and love them and no amount of quietness or routine can make me glad to see them walk out that door.....
When the older kids go to school this year, Abigail will start her job (yes, she got a job, first interview, great offer, health benefits...), and I will have Mirielle here, who is looking for a job, and soon Joseph will be home, I don't know what he will do....and the two little girls. I will give them their naps everyday after lunch, like always, but other than that....we will just go with the flow.....and if we go out and about and they miss a nap, we will just have to put them to bed earlier and try not to do it two days in a row....
I am certainly not implying that I do things the right way, or anything like that. It is just a personality thing, and I don't like shedules. I don't know why, since I am like a rat in a maze when I go into stores, always taking the same path....but map out my day, and I feel claustrophobic.....
There is something in us that likes to have things under control. And when there are many children, that gets more difficult. Things happen. Things can get crazy. Sometimes multiple things occur at the same time, and it seems impossible to deal with everything, and every conversation is interrupted.....and we want things under control again...so we try. And it doesn't always work. What then? Well, I believe in God. I believe that he causes all things to work together for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose....(romans 8) What in the heck does that mean when it is crazy and I am really getting impatient? Apart from schedules, or routines, or certain ways of doing things, I think there is a real need, especially for mommies, and it isn't just learning to count to ten before dealing with a crying kid. We NEED to realize the magnitude of the way that Jesus made for us. We need to realize that when we are crushed and at our wit's end, then God can begin to work in us. He wants us to acknowledge our sin. He wants us to be humble, so He can give us grace. No, our plans don't always work out, but He does have a grand plan. For us to be saved during the day. So that where there was anger and roughness, there can be goodness and gentleness. He wants to give us the virtues. So that come what may, we can be happy people, rooted and grounded in love.
People try all sorts of things to make life good....which is neat, because God has given us such freedom, and so many different personalities....but He also has given us such a great way of salvation.....a way that isn't stiff or difficult, but full of freedom, from our own sin, and all that binds us. And that is all I am going to preach for today......
Because: the girls are making breakfast, Camille hit Charlotte Claire, Rosiepup is barking at the neighbors.....and Camille is crying about something....so, mommy needs to start being a mommy again, and not a preacher.....I need to go live my own exhortations.....yeah, practice what I preach....
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I hate hate hate how parents act so happy to send their children off to school. Like, if your so happy to be away from them, why did you even have them? And then they wonder why their kids don't want to be around them when given a choice. Duh...the feeling will go both ways, parent! This is why I homeschool, and I feel for you. I do however think, if you wanted to bad enough, you could. You just need to have faith in yourself. I am not bashing you at all whatsoever, but just saying too many parents say they want to, but have all the excuses in the book. For nothing is impossible with God. LOL! New York is a tough state to homeschool in, though. I understand that!
Holly, I know what you are saying, if we want something badly enough, it will happen. Especially where God is concerned. The thing about homeschooling for us, is that we are really on the fence about it. I hate sending my kids off, but I also think there are many good opportunities for them to experience, being among the other kids. The hard knocks of life can be excellent teachers, especially when we are here teaching them to take things right, and exhorting them to be overcomers. We have 5 that have finished school now, and they are of the opinion that school is good for the kids. They think it was good for them. And so far, they have turned out pretty sweet. Our school district is small, the teachers respectful, and so far we haven't had any trouble with the younger ones missing alot of school. And, the cousins and friends from church also go to this school...so we don't feel compelled to take the homeschooling step yet. We talk about it and consider it, but I guess we just don't want to badly enough yet. If things got tougher in school, we would reconsider. That being said, I will still be crying when that bus comes next Tuesday....
I don't understand why parents are so glad to send their kids off to school after having so spend time with them during a short summer break. We homeschool, but I have sent a few of my kids to school for a short while and they didn't enjoy those times and neither did I. I understand your feelings:)
My kids don't want to go to school every fall, yet the little ones are always telling me what fun they had. Laura (4 1/2) starts pre-school next week. The program is in the high school my older kids attend, there are 10 kids plus High School seniors who are studying early childhood education to "play" with them, with 2 teachers to oversee everything. My 8th grader Sara, already has permission from the pre-school director and her 8th grade teachers to bring her lunch on days Laura is there, so she can eat with the preschoolers in their classroom.
The only bad point I see to the public school is the large middle school that 5 elementart schools feed into. It can be overwhelming the first few weeks to have so many (750) other students between 6th and 7th grade in the same place.
Funny how each mommy is different...I won't be crying on Tuesday...my kids are home at 2:15pm:) So they are with me for pretty much the entire day...the part that they are not, I'd be busy anyway cleaning up and cooking for the evening etc...cause somebody gotta do those things too:) I like the routine school brings...we all MUST get up at the same time every day....I have to have my shower in the evening otherwise I can't dress up first thing in the morning...I HAVE to have most of my housework done so I can give the kids a snack after school/help with homework/read to them/ play with them and just hang out....see what I mean?~but I know what you mean...so much scheduling going on out there....it's interesting and we all have to find our way what we can make work for us and still stay at peace inside(as opposed to being a military mommy!)
I guess I'd say I like a balance of both(scheduling/sponteniousness) I too feel locked in/burned out if there is no balance....
Oh and one more thought about school...it's good for them to have authority over them besides their mom and dad...someone who requires them to do their school work, do a neat job, be quiet during class time etc.....just a thought. I highly respect homeschoolers though....
I also do not like to send my kids off to school my heart aches at the thought each day passes and they are getting older. This year I only have my 4 yr old home with me!!!!!!!!!! She was so sad this week she didnt know how to act without her brothers and sisters....so sad for both of us and to top it off the 6 and 7 yr old dont like school and cry every morning when they leave thats when i start my tears!!!!!!!!!! Glad to see I am not the only one who feels this way!
Well, I'm homeschooling now, but mine have attended public school in the past and I (honestly) always had mixed feelings. It was exciting to get them ready for school (clothes, supplies) and get their new books, etc. I hated for them to have to ride the bus and did lots of driving because of it. Like momto9 said, I was so busy cooking, cleaning, etc. that the day would pass quickly, but there would be lots of times that I would miss them. I am not opposed to public school and had 2 in it last year, but needed to have us all on the same page of life:)
When Summer/vacation times/weekends/ whether at home or Church or the beach, etc. are so much fun, and the kids and parents really enjoy each other's company, of course it's difficult to send them back to school, and a bit hard for them, too. I just tell them that life outside of school will have to be that much more fun, so learn to bear it and make the most of the rest of the day. I guess a lot of kids and parents don't have the many blessings that go with having more than a couple of children.. or maybe if their lives weren't so full, they'd like school more and look forward to it's return!!
I'll be sad, too, and looking forward to the weekend. And is it me, or does it seem like Summer is getting shorter, and the days are going by way too fast!! I'm not done with it yet!!!!!
Funnily enough i have been working out our new 'schedule'... Yes i am going to try scheduling things, not so much for the kids but for me, i need it otherwise i have days like today where i am here instead of doing what i am supposed be doing, i guess i want to hold myself accountable lol ;-)
I cant stand it when parents go on about how glad they are to send their kids to school or whats worse, the little ones to preschool... just so they can get a 'break'... i think our society has become way to selfish, mothering and having kids is such a blessing, before you know it they are all grown up and then you get all the time in the word to yourself, probably wishing the kids would call or come around ;-)
Thats what i love so much about your blog, your so real and honest and you really just LOVE your kids and love being with them
cassandra xx
I hear you. My son has *just* turned 4 (August), and because the school cut-off date in the UK is 1st September, he started formal school last week. He is not *legally* obliged to go to school until he is 5, but he would miss the whole Reception year (like Kindergarten) and go straight into Year (Grade) 1, with formal sit-down lessons. At least with Reception, he gets to play all day. It's just the formality of wearing a uniform (yes!), being in every day and not with his mummy that slays me. And the inflexibility - you get fined in the UK if you keep them off school!! Luckily we fought REALLY hard to get him into a church-funded school, with only 70 kids (rather than the state funded school with 600!! kids), which makes me feel marginally better - it is really a bit like a large family rather than a school. But, it is only day 4 and he is already off school with a bug, most likely because he is so tired already. And there are still 7 weeks until mid-term break, and another 7 til Christmas! So - it's tough. I have homeschooled (in the UK and America), and loved it, but feel my son benefits from the input from very qualified staff and the intellectual stimulation (he is about 2 years ahead in language and maths). It is a hard choice, and I don't envy you making it. But it sounds like you have a good balance, and are not scared off by other people and stand by your guns keeping your kids off school when you feel they need to (other than illness). Good on you, Della!
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