I am thankful for the work that God is doing in me. I have a fear of being proud, I do not want God to be opposed to me. God is very faithful to show me how I really am. Sometimes I wonder if I am giving the wrong impression on here, that I am so capable or patient or just plain happy about everything. By nature, I am so selfish. So lazy. But I am learning. I am learning to give up and sacrifice and humble myself. God sends things to crush my high and mighty thoughts. And I am very thankful for that. I was thinking today about my washing machine. It doesn't always spin well, so when I go to throw the clothes in the dryer, or hang them up on the deck, they are soaked. I have to set the machine to "spin" again...and sometimes I have to do it all day long before they spin. So, when I open the machine and they have spinned on the first try, and are ready to just go in the dryer, I am so thankful! For something that is usually just taken for granted.......the thing is, our water pressure is awful these days...our pool just isn't filling. It is standing there, all alluring with the spankin' new blue liner, and the water is only a bit above the ankles. That is with leaving the hose on all night for at least three nights. ...and turning it on during the day when we remember to.....when it is on, there is no water in the house..so no laundry....so, I am behind on the laundry........really behind....anyway, this impatience and frustration are serious things....seeing myself, dealing with this stuff inside, that is much more important than laundry. I have been seeing lately how I tend to judge people without really even realizing it....I don't think they are wise with their children, or watch them closely enough, or keep good enough track of what they are doing....and then I find out one of my own kids was doing something I didn't even see....ouch. I just need to really be awake to the criticism I have in me. It is a beautiful thing, really, to see myself so clearly....like once and a while God just opens my eyes wider than ever and, ouch, there I am. How can I judge when I have a proper knowledge of just how it is with me? And how can I complain when God has been sooo good to me? It seems that complaining is just in every layer of my being. I can barely open my mouth sometimes without a complaint about this or that coming out....But praise be to God that He is working with me! I don't have to be depressed or distressed, for their is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus....
It takes more than food and shelter to raise children, it takes patience and wisdom, which only come from God. It always seem to take WAY more patience and wisdom that I posess, so I have to be turning to God......which is a good thing.
The kids (Margaret, Kathryn, Evelyn, Suzanne, Sonja, Jon, and two of Margaret's friends, Bettina and Phoebe) are in the hot tub....they are yelling at the dog...I don't know what she could possibly be doing. Maybe stealing towels?
When is the corn going to be ripe? Sweet corn, the best food on the planet....maybe because it is only available in late July/August. Paired up with some steak on the grill, and wow. We have some steak in the 'fridge defrosting.....it has been $1.99 lb. at PriceChopper for sirloin steak. That is cheaper than hamburger! Maybe I enjoy it so much because when I was growing up, we never ever had it. Once in a while my parents would splurge and get one steak and cut it all up....and we would each get some little pieces. We didn't have a very big dinner tonight, but we did have pan-popped popcorn with butter....but for some reason I am very hungry. But I am not going to have anything...I will just write about yummy things.....like the candy bar from Switzerland that Emily sent to me...it says on it in black marker, "For Mom only, do not share!" (and no, I did not write it, Emily did!) The other bar she sent, she wrote, "For everyone else..." Hopefully I count in the everyone else category, because I did have some...it was very wonderful....oh, I hope Mirielle and Mali bring me some French chocolate, and some German chocolate...(they are staying three days in Frankfurt)....and some more Norwegian chocolate...Aaron and Sam brought some of that....it makes Hershey's taste pretty bland. Although I still like Hershey's. Nestles, nah, not so much. Especially Crunch bars....not exactly YUCK, just not so great. I would eat one if I were in an afternoon chocolate craving, and it was all I had.....with a cup of coffee, of course...
Well, I am starting to bore myself silly....oh, the good thing about having 4 of your kids across the ocean is that you can look forward to having them come home! Mali and Mirielle will be coming in on Thursday! Joseph in a few months, then Emily hopefully by Christmas! And Abigail, who isn't across the ocean, but 35 minutes away staying with a friend who is having a baby next month, and her husband is in the military, will be home by September, too. Yay. Oh, may I truly listen to my children, small and grown.....may I have wisdom to help them, to turn them to God....and may He hear our prayers and preserve them from this world we live in.......
I should have named this post, "Ramblings of a distracted mother"....I have been interupted no less than twenty times while writing it. There was a slug on the patio near the hot tub! Phoebe picked it up! They kicked Evelyn out! Jon stubbed his toe on the way to brush his teeth. Suzanne came out from bed for a cup of ice..(my spoiled kids, they get a cup of ice instead of a drink of water). Suze couldn't find underwear....mom, mom, mom.....ah well, it is kind of funny to be tested in the very things I write about as I write them.....
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7 comments:
I'm that way too...afraid to come accross as one who has it all together when really I see quite clearly how it really is inside and out! So I try to write about times of feeling low as well as when I am feeling high and have so much fun stuff to share.
It's funny you should write about your washing machine.. a week ago when my fridge started acting up, I quickly realized I wanted to "take it right". Then, when the problem was apparently solved, I thought that God had blessed me because I did (!!!). Hahahaha.. Then when it really looked like it was on the "fritz" (is that a word?) a couple of days later, all I could think was that THE MOST IMPORTANT THING in all of this was not the possibly spoiled food, inconvenience, money, etc., but that I see my sinful nature and get help from God. Believe me, my thoughts naturally go to the practical, of course that's normal, but I don't want to waste my time here on earth worrying and fretting. So, I guess I'm trying to say that it was really good for me to read your entry. We need to be reminded constantly. Thanks.. Sounds like fun in the hot tub!! We are alone again this weekend, even Katie and Dave and Grace are gone.. Well, see you at Victory.
I love your blog. And I also, like you, love sweet corn. Here is a simple, delicious recipe for corn.
Slice kernels off corn cobs (however many you want).
Saute with butter in frying pan.
Add fresh basil, thinly sliced. Saute for 3 minutes. Add salt & pepper to taste. Devour!
I changed my blog's settings, if you have an email address I can add you to the invites, and anyone reading this that whish to keep seeing my blog. (Krusty lynn?) I don't know exactly what happened to you a few days ago, but this a some other stuff made me think harder about how much personal stuff I share and I should maybe keep more private.
Anyway thanks for sharing your struggles, it's so rare to find someone WHO CARES!! I mean so many people say stuff and pretend to.. but when you really try to live the gospel, it's very humbling, and it's encouraging to know there are a few other enthusiasts out there doing their best and meaning what they say. Even if it's not always successful..
I love hearing about what's going on in your life. It reminds us all that we're all having to learn the same lessons: we're not alone.
Anyway, I think you're a wonderful mom and I love reading about your life! :)
Oh, thank you for reminding me - I need to go empty my washer into the dryer and Go. To. Bed.
Re. chocolate - I can send you some English stuff if you'd like :) We have some amazing chocolate here - I am really not a Hershey's fan, unless it is in Syrup form - and then I am all over it :) Seriously, drop me an email with your mailing address, and I will send it. What is your favourite flavour? I like dark more than milk, and dark ginger or dark almond is my favourite :)
God bless you, I do love your blog :) And your kids are just too cute.
The only reason that my blog seems to portray everything as perfect is because when I do share my thoughts as they really are, I get critism from some. It scares me enough to only be positive and never show my doubts. :( I would love to open up on my blog.
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