i wish...

I wish I could announce that I am pregnant. But I'm not. I wish I could announce that I have lost another five pounds. But I didn't. I wish I could say that my whole house is clean, ha. That my laundry is caught up. Nah. That I have made all the phone calls I have been procrastinating...

But I can say this: I am happy. Happy to be a Mom. Even though I don't always get the respect I think I deserve from my teenagers, or the appreciation I think I should get for all I do around here. Yes, it is a Thankless Job, but someone has to do it. Not really though. The rewards are plentiful...

I made French Toast for the kids yesterday morning, turning the dark cold kitchen into a fragrant cold kitchen. ha. I really like doing things for them that they like. Last night, for example, my girls were home from Jamaica...they stopped here to pick up Emily's car, and to empty the one big suitcase they shared ($25 for checked baggage, they just brought carry-ons and shared one bag for things like shampoo and sunscreen and sneakers)Anyway, Emily is working a 16 hour shift today, and won't be going grocery shopping 'til tomorrow, so I stocked them up on some stuff to last a few days...then they got home and discovered their landlord had totally ripped out their shower...uh-oh, Abigail really needed a shower before work...she came over this morning to take one, and I made her toast and tea....

Anyway, I like being good to my kids. It is rewarding. It is also rewarding to see what wonderful adults they are growing into. The Jamaica trip girls had a really really good time. I was hoping they would, because I am the one who recommended they go there. I was half afraid they would get there and think it was a dump or be bored or have awful food. But I needn't have worried, they loved relaxing on the beach, going out to dinner, and eating lots of fruits and veggies at every meal. And of course Jerk Chicken. They looked wonderful as they walked to the van from the airport, all tanned and laughing. They were hesitant, because they feared I had the camera, then they remembered that THEY had my camera, so they were fine.

So they had fun. (Mali went up to the room for something and the elevator got stuck between floors. She was on the elevator with five Jamaican guys, who kept telling her not to worry, Princess.) They read and rested and relaxed and probably missed me, ha.

The calling hours for the young boy down the road who passed away last week are this afternoon. Sam was friends with him, but is hesitant to go today because he says he doesn't know if he can handle it. Who can? I can't think of a more painful thing for a family to go through. I won't make Sam go, and I will go with him if he wants, encouraging him that it is for the family, to let them know that their son, their brother, mattered. They aren't going to stand there by his casket, wondering if we really knew him enough to be there.

Tomorrow morning I go to the doctor for my gallbladder complaint. I haven't had any more pain or symptoms at all, so perhaps I passed a stone and now everything is now fine and dandy and getting it checked out is just a huge waste of time and money.

Rosie escaped with the first trip kids and barked at the bus like a crazy dog, but came right to me when I went out to get her, ran muddy paws across the floor into her cage, rrr, anyone want a sheepdog? She gets so absolutely dirty all the time! She has all that fur, and it gets so stinky when she goes out in the cold, the oils come out, and yuck! She loves to slosh through the ditches and get burrs in her fur, and roll in stuff. She gets baths about every two-three weeks. Why didn't I just get a regular normal dog? She is SO high-maintenance. Good thing she's cute.

I am getting myself motivated to clean things out around here. Get rid of the excess. I talked to Jonathan when I tucked him in last night, and he seems open to sorting through his toys. This is a huge step for him, he has always wanted to keep everything, literally freaking out if I threw away a broken truck. I need to sort through my clothes, 90% of them don't fit anymore. I want to clean closets, and get rid of clothes that Camille has grown out of. I know I can't do it all in one day, but today I will start. Because less is more, right? Instead of just wishing I had a cleaner house, I should just clean my house, right? And that starts with getting out of this chair...