my huggy bear's birthday is coming up....

How could we have lived all these years without knowing her? Was life empty without her? I cannot now imagine it. She is trouble, first of all. She pulled off all those nicely arranged books on the bookshelves. To be fair, I could have stopped her, but hey, she was doing something relatively safe, and it was keeping her busy while I swept the floor. Somehow, sweeping took hours today, with all the interruptions. Anyway, she unfolded the stack of clean towels. She will stand at a basket of toys, and just throw them on the floor. She finds things to put in her mouth. She loves her big sister Charlotte Claire. She loves to pull her hair, and climb on her.

She loves her thumb. And she loves me. She comes crawling across the room to get to me, and has a big snuggly hug for me. I don't remember the other kids being so huggy. She just gets her arms around my neck, and really hugs. She loves to suck her thumb and be snuggled. Sometimes I sing to her, and if I stop, she will pull back and look at me and sort of hum, or try to mimic the singing, as if to say, keep singing, Mom....and when I do, she snuggles back in..... I truly hope she's not my last baby. Her first year has gone way too fast, of course. She still nurses, and wakes in the night. And although I hate being tired, I really don't mind. She does drink bottles, and eats yogurt and babyfood, and all sorts of cereals.....she is almost walking. I can leave her home now, and other people can put her to bed.....

I love the children my babies grow into, and I am also loving the adults my children are growing into. I have 4 that are 18 and over, another 4 that are teenagers, then the 8 that are 11 and under......but the babies are so special.

I have told Camille's birth story before, and I might be fuzzy on the details of it already, but I am going to tell it again.....because I like it. If you want to skip over it, that's okay...

It was March when I found out I was pregnant again. When I was 8 weeks, I started spotting. I wasn't too surprised, since I had had three miscarriages between Jonathan and Charlotte Claire. But I was disapointed. I went into the doctor, and he did a sonogram. No baby, no heartbeat....he said it was probably a blighted ovum. I kept spotting, and sometimes just downright bleeding so hard I considered asking for a D&C....this went on for 5 or six weeks....then, it stopped. Finally. I was sort of miserable. I didn't feel well, I was tired, and just plain sick. And I wondered why I had another miscarriage. My doctor assured me that it wasn't my age, he said for all the healthy pregnancies I had, I was very lucky......but I didn't feel lucky.

I went into the doctor after the bleeding stopped, he wanted to check and see if everything was okay. I was afraid he was going to say the dreaded words, "Don't have anymore babies.." But he just did a pregnancy test, and a general check....the pregnancy test was still positive, but he said that was normal. Just come back in a few weeks and it'll be negative, sometimes it takes a while for the hormones to leave your system.....and I started feeling better, and went back in for my check.....hmm, test still positive. They sent me next door to the lab for a blood test, then I went home.....I honestly thought they suspected ovarian cancer. The next day, the midwife called me. Come right in, please. Your blood levels are high. What does that mean? Just come right in. I really thought they suspected something bad.......

I went in to the dr. office. Midwife said my blood hormone levels were high....and how about a sonogram? I am so stupid. I was worried. In I go, lay down, the dr. takes the wand, put it on my tummy, and there on the screen is a 14+ week baby waving at me! Moving all around, heart beating, waving, kicking. Well. What could they say? I think they were as shocked as I was. I went from mourning and being sad to being exuberant in seconds flat! I was pregnant all along!!!! Did I lose a twin? The reason for the bleeding was secondary, I was just glad I was pregnant.....when I went out into the office to schedule a "first" appointment, the nurses, receptionist, all of them, were so excited for me. Someone suggested naming the baby, "Miracle".......

I remember going home and telling the kids. It was way more exciting than just seeing those two lines on the pregnancy test. I felt I was given a huge gift. And the way I was feeling those past few months was making sense now.....

After the bleeding stopped, my pregnancy was normal. We had a little going back and forth about the due date, dr. thought Nov. 10, I thought the 5th. In my last few pregnancies I had some slow starting, long tiring labors, so it was decided to induce on the 5th, which my dr. insisted was 5 days early. I didn't like that much. I knew the 5th was my due date. So I started really hoping and praying that I would go into labor on my own. My induction date was moved to the 7th, for practical reasons. And the night of the 6th, I was feeling very crampy with contractions......and, in the middle of the night, my water broke! Ha...I was right! I did have an indescribably special night. I didn't wake Paul up right away, I just came out in the living room. It was a very cool rainy night, just pouring out. I only turned the stove light on in the kitchen, and sat in my chair, on a pile of towels, and rocked during the contractions. Just enjoying the early labor, and counting my blessings.....

I did finally call the dr., since I was a little worried about the possibility of the baby's head being too high, and cord prolapse, so I woke up Paul and we went to the hospital. After a few hours of contractions not getting me too dilated, they hooked up some pitocin. She was born only a few hours later......we did not know if boy/girl, because during the sonograms she was modest......so it was quite a surprise. I always thought it was just as fun when we knew, but this was just somehow more exciting. Her cord was compressed during the final stage of labor, and she was a bit blue, and her forehead was swollen from hitting the cervix wrong, so when I first saw her I thought something was wrong.....but she was fine. More than fine. She was perfect. We named her Camille Anaya (Anaya means "God answered").......the kids came up to see her.....the best part was Charlotte Claire's reaction.....she was only almost 18 months....

Well, the year certainly has flown. I don't know how/if we will celebrate......but it has been a busy and blessed year.....