summer 2011

summer 2011

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012
family

Friday, November 6, 2009

one thousandth post!!!!

Wow, my thousandth post....wow. I cannot believe I have this much spare time. Somehow we find the time to do what we like, I guess.

So Happy Friday! Today is also Camille Anaya's last day of being one year old. Paul thought she was turning three. No dear, Charlotte Claire is three. He asked Camille last night how old she is, he said, "Are you three", and she said, "No, Carlotte is three". He asked,"So how old are you, are you two?", and she said, "No, I am one!" He then asked her if she was going to college, and she said, while shaking her head yes, "Uh huh, I am going to college."

So, I cleaned off the couch! Again! Maybe I subconsiously let it pile up because it is so nice when it gets cleaned again. Nah. Now the trick is to not let even one thing get put there, because then we're goners.....

We did do some chore lists yesterday. We sat and had cocoa after school, and I wrote down their Christmas requests. It is so funny what they want. Suzanne wants a chalk board or a camera. Sonja wants a Fancy Nancy doll or a pink poodle Webkins. Jon wants a remote control car, a black Corvette. I told him he can't get too specific. Most of the other kids just shook their heads and said they don't know. They are good kids. I told them that I would probably get 5 or six things for the littler ones, but then maybe four things for Sonja on up, and they were perfectly fine with that.

Paul and I never did get around to making those reservations. I told him that is a sure sign we need a vacation, that we cannot even find the time to make the reservations. We have narrowed down our choices, thank you Grace for the nice reviews! Jon still doesn't think it's fair.

I told Paul that we should probably go tanning a few times before we go, just so we don't burn so easily when we are there. The look on his face was pretty funny. He is just not a vain guy. The thought of him going tanning just makes me crack up. The other day one of the kids came across a prom picture of us (I am going to get Aaron to help me scan it), and Paul was so cute! He still is, but he had such a chubbiness to his face, he was so young. (although a good bit older than me, he was in college and I was in eleventh grade) Anyway, I am looking forward not only to the time with no cooking or cleaning or playing referee, but just having time with him. I am well aware how good we have it, that we still have such a good time together after all these years, that we have been able to keep things alive through so many pregnancies and births and all the other day-to-day dramas though the years. It's hard to explain, but it seems that we like each other more and more as time passes.

I am no expert at marriage, because I am also well aware that ours is so good because Paul is such a good guy. He is so respectful and responsible and yet funny and comfortable and flexible and humble.... Anyway, I have learned a few things along the way...

1. To begin with, NEVER ever ever be against each other. Wife and husband=together. When thoughts are entering the mind that are against the other, they are WRONG. We can agree to disagree, but that is a whole different matter. Paul and I are very different, and we have different ways of doing things.

2. Be respectful. If my feelings are hurt, that doesn't mean I should try to hurt him back. 99% chance he has no idea I feel bad in the first place.

3. Talk about stuff. Paul isn't generally a talker. But when I tell him the things that have been bothering me, it usually makes it seem like not a big deal just talking about it...mostly because when I am convinced he just doesn't even like me anymore, it is just ME. My thoughts.

4. Being "right" is over rated. Arguing is stupid.

5. Have the mind to bless and serve. When I start thinking things are NO FAIR, or tallying up how many times I have gotten up with the kids and he hasn't, then things are going in the wrong direction.

6. Forgive. Forget. Guys are - well, no offense, but they are GUYS! They don't always say the right things, and can be insensitive sometimes. Just don't chalk it up in the heart....

7. And that is all I can think of. Usually when two people get married, they actually like each other, and they are attracted to each other, and they love each other. It takes some work to preserve that, to shut out all other temptations, and work on keeping good and pure thoughts towards each other. There is so much heartache in the world because of separation and divorce and unfaithfulness....

Benjamin has a friend who has five brothers and sisters, and he is the only one who has the mother and father that he does. The others are either his mom's kids, or his dad's kids....does that make sense? Anyway, this kid has had some trouble in his life, and when I see him, I just want to adopt him. His mother is not with his father anymore. His father has a girlfriend. It just makes me mad. Not at the parents, or at him, but just at the wreckage that comes from just living so unthinkingly.

Anyway...today. Will I stay home? Hmm. I am thinking not. I have had one grocery store trip, but I could use some fresh fruits and veggies again. But if I stay home, I could get some things done. The kids have activity club tonight, and I have pizza dough in the 'fridge, and am planning to make homemade pizza pockets with them after school to have for dinner.

The plumber hasn't called yet, he has a busy schedule I guess. I am wondering if we should call a different guy. The water game gets old. But we are adaptable people, and now it seems perfectly reasonable to see someone come upstairs wrapped in a towel, asking huffily who just flushed the toilet and ruined their shower.....and oh, the thankfulness that will abound when we can just run the water mindlessly again....

Samuel James...he is my 14 year old. He is a very special child. He is not stupid, (that is a mean word, isn't it?), but he is unsure of himself. He is totally obsessed with World War Two. He knows facts upon facts and he refers to different generals and battles that I don't even know about. He likes guns. He plays airsoft, and shoots the b-b gun, and used to like paintball before airsoft took over. He is gentle, but he does have a temper, which he is aware of, and when he snaps at one of his sisters, he apologizes. He has these little quirks like patting people on the head, which they do not like, but he cannot seem to stop doing. He always asks, "What?" automatically when he is told to do something. He can't not ask it. If he is not told the thing twice, he will get all flustered and say he did not hear the first time, and it will become a big deal. He does have quite the sense of humor, but he tends to dwell on the same things. He will pick up a phrase, and use it into the ground. We love him and like him and appreciate him. But....the kids on the bus tease him. To me, Sam is too good for this world. He has such a soft heart, most of his grumpy exterior is just a defense, I think. He pats his little sisters affectionately, and they yell, "Don't, Sam!"....and I ask them discreetly why can't they just let him do that, he loves them. (I need my striped shirt and whistle...but my official title should be Peacekeeper) Anyway.....in the 6th grade, the kids do a cell project for science. They make a model of a cell, and label the parts. Usually they are made of playdough or clay, although before the teachers banned food, some made them of jello or bagels. Sam made his on a piece of cardboard with little toothpick banners labeling the parts. I can't remember what was going on here when he did that project...but: Kathryn is now in 6th grade, and her teacher, who was also Sam's teacher, had some sample projects to give the kids ideas. He also had a sample of what he did NOT want turned in, he referred to it as a project obviously done the night before, and he held up Samuel's project. Kathryn was not happy, as it had his name right on it. Someone in her class is on their bus and has been teasing Sam relentlessly about it, which of course spreads like wildfire to the other kids. His teacher has no idea how much thought Sam probably put into that project....but in any case, his name should not be on it. Paul and I are going to send him a letter, it is on our to-do list this weekend, to write one up. That teacher needs a wake-up call. Poor Sam....is it any wonder I want to keep them all home with me?

This world would be a perfect place if everyone loved everyone like they were their own child. Well, then again, there are parents...never mind. It was a good thought, anyway....

4 comments:

Unknown said...

I have been a "silent" reader of your blog for a month or more now, and haven't commented before, but felt I needed to with this post. I feel your pain for Sam. I have an 11 year old son who sounds very much the same as your son, and I know how upsetting it is to hear of the teasing, bullying and lack of respect from teachers. Go for it! Write that letter. Teachers these days need a good swift kick up the rear. Their attitudes have changed so much since I was at school, and it saddens me that if a child is not "streamline" then they are the target of examples, and then targetted by other kids because of it. You hug that boy of yours, and love every single bit about him. He IS special. Each and every child is! Hugs, and I'm a huge admirer of you raising 16 children! I have 4 and can't begin to imagine another 12 on top, so you really do get my full admiration :D

Cathi,
Australia

Mireille said...

Don't make me cry about poor Sam, Mom. I have always felt he was too good for this world as well. And poor Kathryn Grace too. She looks up to her older brother and to have someone like a teacher humiliate him, it must be hurtful to her soft heart too.

Joni said...

So glad to hear you're writing a letter to the teacher. Teacher should find another job when they're to the point of being insensitive and mean.

I love reading your post!!!

M said...

Oh my.

First? Your marriage know it all? Is really really wise.

Second? the situation with Sam makes me really really irritable. (Also? His behavior sound quite a bit aspergers ish and quite understandable from that concept. Not saying he is on the spectrum, I just see the behaviors and go oooooh I get how that seems normal to him!)

Third that teacher is OUTRAGEOUS. Totally unacceptable. And, um, really, I kind of think showing examles of what not to do is not the best concept to me. I don't know if that's askable but taking the names off would a an f'ign MINIMUM how insensitive!