i am a zombie....

And it's nobody's fault but my own. I sayed up waaay too late last night. I am in the middle of doing some organizing and straightening, and it is easier to do things at night when the kids are all sleeping. When I finally decided enough was enough, I took a shower, and got in bed. And couldn't fall asleep for anything. I was like a wide-awake drunk, whatever that is like. I tossed and turned, and all of the sudden.....I got a text....from Mirielle...it was morning, and she found out on her first day back to college that she wasn't registered. She, of course, didn't realize that her mother had stayed up so late, and hey, 8:50 is not that early to someone who isn't on summer hours. Anyways, I am a Zombie today. I made real coffee for the first time since Paul left, and filled up a huge mug. I made a stack of raisin toast for the kids, and sat down here in my comfy chair. Wait, I did do a load of laundry, and hung out some bedding to dry outside. And I cleaned off the counters. And gave the kids a vitamin. And straightened some things in my room. So I am not a total bum.

I love being a bum.

Oh, I took Rosie out, too. That counts for something.

Today is another blank slate. If I was smart, I would start filling the backpacks...I did buy two new lunchbox/purse things yesterday. It is almost cruel to come home with two of something with all the little girls....they will just have to take turns with the new ones. I can't help it if the old lunchboxes are going out of style, and the new thing is lunchbox/purse things! If I bought five of them, it would be way to much money. And Jonathan, he can just use his Car's lunchbox again. He is only in first grade. And boys don't need lunchbox/purse things. I hope.

I don't stress too much about making sure the kids have the latest fashions, obviously, but I also want them to feel comfortable and look neat and clean. This year, Aaron and Mali, and Sam are my high-schoolers. Aaron and Mali work, so I don't have to buy them anything. Sam needs some jeans. Margaret, Kathryn, and Evelyn are in middle school, and probably need a few things. Suzanne, Sonja, and Jonathan are in elementary school....they all have new sneakers already, and I buy things throughout the year to put away for school. Jon has lots of clothes. But girls are harder. They only wear skirts and skorts to school, so far.....

I am thinking of taking the kids to the great New York State Fair. Daily attendance ranges from in the seventy thousands to 120 thousand people. I haven't taken them in years, except for a few of the middle-sized kids a few years back. We don't do the midway rides, too expensive, but we visit the cows and sheep and piggies, and get some chocolate milk for 25 cents a cup, and maybe a $1 baked potato. And we got hot and tired and miserable. Wait, I am not supposed to remember that part! Uh-oh, I think I am finally growing up!

I had to break my own rule and give out a few spanks last night. It hurt me more than it hurt you kids, by the way. Only Jon and Sonja K. They have been pushing the limits since Daddy is gone, pushing and not going to sleep at night. Fooling around and getting up and fighting and just being horrible. They were literally exhausted last night, and as it approached midnight, I finally went in there and gave them each a few swats on the behinds. They did not like it one little bit, and neither did I. But it was the last I heard from them. This morning, I asked Jonathan if he knows Mommy loves him, and he said, "Of course." Rules ARE meant to be broken, I guess.

Only four more nights 'til Paul comes home! Last week I missed him, but this week I REALLY miss him. It is kind of fun to be the boss, but it is better to have a co-boss. I miss his input about things. Our communication has been sketchy, a few nice texts every day, a couple of emails, but basically I have had to make all the decisions here. Things that I usually ask him his thoughts on. The good thing is that I am enjoying looking forward to seeing him again. I get that warm fuzzy feeling when I think of him.

Well, the little Camille who has been cuddling with me is gaining momentum and needs attention......