The house is quiet except for the two little princesses who are having animal crackers with their bagels. That means they are not just eating, they are playing. Paul went to visit his parents and is supposed to buy the bunkbeds for the princesses. The other kids are all still sleeping.
The dr. office called me back yesterday and has fit me in on Tuesday. I am almost dreading it. I would rather have hope than find out it is doomed. Yet on the other hand, I would LOVE to see that little heartbeat. I think I would just float out of that office if I saw that. This whole pregnancy has been so crazy for me. I never really thought I would conceive again, although I had hoped. Being so old, I know that if this one doesn't stick, it is most likely it. I cannot complain, these guys are more than enough. But this pregnancy is like all the money in the world dangled before me...
I did have a small bit of pink spotting yesterday, which made me want to just go crawl in bed and hibernate, sick and tired of battling anxiety. So I did. It didn't last too long, three of my girls came barging in telling me they had to talk to me about something important, trouble with one of their friends, one of them was crying hysterically. I must say, it stopped me from just thinking of myself pretty quickly.
So I got up. Helped the girls, made dinner, no more spotting.
Life is a series of trials. I will not go around the bend if I lose this baby, but I will hibernate. I won't feel cheated when I see other newborns, but I will certainly get teary-eyed. I won't be jealous of other pregnant moms, but I will be tempted.
But I shall jump of that bridge when I come to it.
In other news, I saw a new number on the scale this morning! I was pretty glad, because there is nothing like the excuse, "eating for two", to break down my determination a little. I haven't been as careful as I had been, so I have been trying to get serious again. I take in plenty of healthy food, I just need to stop with the brownie tastes and ice cream pie tastes. If I stay away from the breads and stick with the meats/proteins and plenty of veggies and fruits, I will be okay. And I have been keeping up on the exercising.
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2 comments:
I'm so glad that you get to see the Dr. on Tuesday. That's my Wednesday--I don't know if I can wait that long. :-) Just wanted you to know that you are on our prayer list here in NZ and on my mother's church's prayer list in Texas. I have only been pregnant once and lost that baby. But I dearly understand the desire for children. We love our two blessings and pray for more. Find peace and rest where you can.
I hope this one "sticks" too. I'm praying for you and your 22nd child.:)
I agree that you shouldn't give up the diet just because you're pregnant. Babies don't need chocolate and ice cream. They need protien, veggies and fruits. Keep it up.
Although, I'm not really one to talk because I've been living on salads and stir fries and have still managed to gain 20 lbs already. And I still have five more months to go. Eeek!
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