missing my benjamin.....

Benjamin texted me at 1:35 a.m. to tell me he loved me and missed me and he was sorry he didn't text me earlier, but he didn't have good reception at home. Um...Mr. Benny, your 10:35 is 1:35 here on the east coast. Remember? After I texted back saying, "I am dleeping, I mean sleeping, LOVE YOU.", he replied, "I know my bad, love you too."

I am such a Mom, I was just glad to hear from him. That's the thing, when you have kids and love them so much no matter how old they are, the things they do can be irritating, but it is so easy to forgive them, to say it doesn't matter.

And I do miss him so much. He was such a good little boy, ha. He had more energy than I ever had in my life, but he usually put it to good use. He seriously could clean up the living room and vacuum it when he was three years old. He liked to do it, and he was capable of it. He used to come over here to our house when it was the Building Site, while it was under construction. He had his fourth birthday party here using a pile of sheetrock as the table for the cupcakes. He was Paul's little helper, Paul would bring him here as he built the house. As he grew up, he was challenging sometimes, but he was a good big brother, he loved the little guys so much, he gave them all nicknames...in his teenage years he was trouble, never bad trouble, but he gave us a run for our money. Now he says he is sorry for giving us a hard time, and he acknowledges that it was HIM who was the problem, not Dad, not me...it is nice to hear. He is realizing that when one seeks to please God in the regular daily life, one can be happy, so I don't really have to worry about Ben anymore.

I cannot wait to see him at Christmas! I know already that it will be a bittersweet time though, knowing he will be shipping out to Afghanistan right afterwards.

There is no milk in the 'fridge. I think I shall text Paul, I do not want to go shopping. I went to lunch today at a friend's house. Camille was really good, except for the Smothering Me part. She didn't leave my side, although she did sit on the floor next to me and dump out her bag of Barbies, the raggedityiest ones they have, of course. I found it challenging to sit there for a few hours in that living room with the huge coffee table laden with food. I brought over some mini chicken tacos, and some hot Buffalo wings, and some pistachios. And some raw green peppers and some carrots. There was also a bowl of chocolate chocolate chip muffins, some lemon-poppyseed muffins, a crockpot of chicken and rice, some watermelon, and a plate of garlic bread with dipping sauce. I had some chicken wings and a few mini tacos, and lots of green peppers. The garlic bread and the muffins were not calling my name, they were SCREAMING IT. But I just ignored it. And enjoyed my conversation, had a few pistachios...and a cup of hot tea with a half teaspoon of sugar.

Now I am home, I did some laundry, cleaned up the kitchen a little bit, put some hot sausage in the oven (I am making ravioli with sauce and sausage for dinner, and a bowl of spinach for me). I exercised for 20 minutes, and here I sit with my low-fat sugar free yogurt with a handful of chocolate chips and some almond/cranberry/sunflower seed mix in it. Now I am glad I resisted all that stuff....Sam is making me a cup of coffee, too. Lucky me, really. What a good kid.

This weekend is another church conference, so I get to go buy candy and soda and water and Gatorade and Snapple and burgers and hot dogs and buns and fries and ect., Emily is buying the pizza dough and pizza cheese for me.

Wow, the second trip bus is here already, not a good time to write...