poor me...

I am up three pounds from four or five days ago. How can that possibly be? When I bought the scale, Mirielle warned me that she didn't want to hear my tales of woe when the numbers bummed me out. Anyway, I felt like crying this morning....those numbers should be creeping down, not UP!

But then I started thinking....about what I have eaten. And I guess this is serious stuff, can't just sneak a bite of this and a taste of that and not expect it to count. I have gotten myself in a place where if I eat that popcorn or a few crackers, it counts double or something. I have to remember that I do not lose an ounce for anything I don't eat, yet I do gain them for things I do eat....I do not want to be so obsessed, but if this is going to work for me I have to be extremely radical.

The part that frustrates me is that I have looked up how many calories I should be taking in according to height, weight, age, activity level...and I am well within those numbers. I SHOULD be losing a pound or two a week. blah.

So more fruits and veggies for me, smaller portions, more strictness, no skipping workouts...blah, just wake me up when these next forty pounds are gone.

And, I spilled some of my blueberry oatmeal on my nice pink shirt.

And, my foot hurts. When I walk, the side of my foot is squished against my sneaker, and it is getting worse. This just started a few weeks ago, my sneakers were always fine. blah, they are wide-width Nikes, comfy everywhere else. If I spring for a new pair, how will I know if they will be any better?

And, my knees crackle and crunch when I bend them....Paul looked up some exercises to help, as he suffers the same thing. I have yet to try them. I just feel this need to hurry and lose this weight before my knees get worse and I have to ride in one of those electric carts in Walmart.

And, since I left at 10:30 yesterday morning to take Charlotte Claire to the dr. for that swollen gland, my house is...well, it needs work. Because my sister texted me when I was in the dr. waiting room and said she was in the small city with her daughter Suze, who is expecting the twins, and little Will, Suze's two year old. Now Jonathan was with me since he had a fever the day before, and Sonja was with me too because...well, because. So we met her at the different McDonalds on the other side of the city, which has a different playground....the kids had fun playing with Will, except for that Sonja "hogged" him, according to Jonathan. They played while we had coffee and salads and I had a fruit and yogurt parfait and tried to keep my paws off their fries. And this is a grand example of my biggest Character Flaw, I will choose fun and friends and coffee in a heartbeat, knowing I have things to do and places to go...then later when the house is still in it's Morning State in the afternoon when I get home with tired kids and groceries, I say, "Well, I WAS gone all day..."

(Charlotte Claire had a throat culture, the dr. wasn't as alarmed at the huge bump in front of her ear as I was.)

Jonathan is home again today because he says he doesn't feel well, but I wonder about that...he was fine yesterday. Sonja is the only one going on the bus, and isn't too happy about it.

So I cannot go to the pool with these two home (Char is home because I haven't had the throat culture back yet...better be safe than sorry)

So...poor me. Not really, I have a good life. And, today is supposed to be nice and sunny. I do like cloudy weather, but today some sun sounds nice. I shall go out on the deck and try to get some color on my cheeks. The ones on my face, Cheryl.

Yesterday I bought a few hundred dollars worth of candy for this weekend's church conference candy store. I also bought things for here...the best deal: there was a coupon in BJ's for $11 off if one purchased five breakfast items, specific items were pictured. Imagine my surprise when I realized the Thomas's English Muffins were only $2.89, and they were included! Now eleven dollars divided by five is $2.20, so that makes each 9-pack of muffins SEVENTY CENTS. There were whole grain, and cinnamon raisin. Let's just say we have muffins in the freezer.

I have more shopping to do for the church grill...perhaps I will go this evening with a few of the older kids. Not that it wasn't fun with the four youngest yesterday...but fun doesn't always get things done. ha, that isn't MY motto.

There is a growing pile of bedding to be washed, placed so beautifully in the laundry room doorway. When we had so many little ones a few years back, that pile would usually be a mountain. I longed for a second washing machine, but here I am still alive with only one. The mountain is usually just a molehill these days...

Paul and I can't get the idea of another trip to Jamaica out of our heads. The Dominican Republic was nice, but not as nice as Jamaica. I told him I would try my hardest to be wiser with the money. I shall try to be a better coupon shopper and not buy things we don't need. And I will get all my stuff up on ebay so I can make a little money instead of just spending it all. Anyway, we might try to go early next year...

Our youngest child is almost four, and we only have five kids aged ten and under now, but still...we have five teenagers...and Evelyn, who is twelve but has acted like a teenager for two or three years now...and then the five kids who are in their twenties, three of them still live home....there is always so much going on, that is my point. Everyone has things to tell Mom and Dad, and we have things we help them with and take care of and listen to and it all adds up to that we don't get much time together. Sometimes we stay up so late it is almost early, just to have a few hours to talk.

Then, after 26 years of marriage, we discovered why people like vacations so much. Day after day of peacefulness and relaxation...and we re-discovered why we like each other so much. So it isn't JUST that we like to go and be waited on and eat good things and sit in the sun....we have really good reasons!

Yes, here I sit, dreaming about Jamaica...I need to get busy with some things around here to make life smoother. Socks, for example. Washing, matching. blah. Summer is so nice, very few socks.

(one of my reasons for being so bummed about my weight is that I have been thinking along the lines of: if I lose two pounds a week for X number of weeks, I can lose X number of pounds if we go to Jamaica in February...well, if I GAIN three pounds a week, I don't even want to go. blah.)

I feel better not that I have written my Poor Me post. Because I realize that I am richly blessed and have nothing to grump about.