oh, the agonizing pain....

Last night, I had what I think was a gallbladder attack. It started out so suddenly, like a punch in the gut...then I realized the pain was over on the right side, under the ribcage...it hurt. Then it didn't so much hurt as KILL. It was horrible. I could not get comfy, I couldn't sleep...Aaron was the only one up when I decided to google the symptoms. He helped me, and since we are both doctors, we decided it was the gallbladder. (one of the things I read: in Med school, students are taught the potential canidates are the 5 f's: fat, female, forty, fair, and fertile. ouch.) (yes, one who has lost a lot of weight, and who has born many children were also listed in a different article). Once we determined I wasn't in danger of dying imminently, although I think Nursing Student Aaron was all for bringing me to the hospital, even though he was in the middle of making half-moon cookies, I rocked in my chair for a while until the pain subsided enough that I found myself dozing. Joseph so valiantly volunteered to get the kids off to school for me...which he did. (Can I call the school and tell the teachers that whatever Charlotte Claire has on was NOT my fault?)....Joe went back to bed and Aaron got up with Camille...when I wandered out here at 10:00 am, Camille was having second breakfast of eggs and bacon and orange slices, and a half-moon cookie.

So. Here I am, fighting with everything that is in me to pick up that phone and call my nice young dr. who doesn't look old enough to be a dr. Because I hate calling and I hate going. But then there is the specter of that attack...what if it happens again? The pain was so intense I would have jumped in front of a train to ease it. Not kidding. I told Aaron as it started to subside, "I will never complain about anything else again in my life." I learned many lessons last night. Pain is a wonderful teacher. I had mercy on everyone in the world who is suffering, and I was close to God. Aaron said we have built in mechanisms to make the memory of the intensity of pain fade, but I would rather like to remember the sheer suffering of it all. Makes today seem bright and wonderful and trial free! Except for that possibility of it happening again...

So I will probably call Dr. Handsome sometime today. Wait, did I just call him that? What if he reads this? I am totally kidding! I didn't even notice he was good looking! I really don't care either, just a random observation.

ha. Anyway, Aaron has now gone back to bed, or just to his room for some peace and quiet from Miss Camille, who involves everyone in the room in her pretend play. She got a new dolly from Target yesterday afternoon, and a little stroller and cradle. She is all about playing Mama this morning. She has the comforter from her bed spread out on the floor, and her Pillowpet, and lots of dolly clothes. She is talking to no one, now that she is her own little world, no one except for people I cannot see.

Another thing: I will never eat McDonald's food again. Ever. There, now that I said that I have to keep it. We stopped because I had Kathryn, Evelyn, Suzanne, and Camille with me on our little shopping expedition. They really like the McCafe drinks, and I had a buy one get one free coupon. And I figured that if they each had something from the dollar menu, we didn't have to go home and get things out for dinner, since I knew they had already eaten at home...so...I had a McChicken from the dollar menu, no mayo, no bun. Just the chicken. It was greasy, but I was hungry, blah. I think that was the trigger. I had not even one of Camille's fries, just the chicken. Never again. Well, maybe a parfait...but no sandwiches from there, ever.

Our shopping expedition. blah. My phone was on vibrate, Evelyn stuck it into her purse. So we didn't hear Joseph calling us repeatedly as we drove the forty minutes to the suburbs to Target. Calling us to tell us that he STILL had my credit card from when he had to gas up to take the girls to the airport the other night! rrr. When we parked the car at Target, I opened my wallet just to check....a habit I have gotten into, which Paul mentioned is flawed since I should do it at home BEFORE I leave the house, which is true, because NO CREDIT CARD. I looked in my checkbook, ONE check. I needed groceries too, remember. And I didn't want to drive all the way home and back, it was a school night. I had these three girls, 13 and 12 and teh, who wanted to look at clothes in Target with their Christmas money...so Target it was, with our one check.

They found some jeans, I found one half-price shirt, Camille got some boots, we got miniblinds for the girls' room, I got some sweet baby boy things for my niece Katie's baby shower, a few half-price candies that I will not even have one of, and the dolly for Camille. (it is a sweet little baby doll, we got one for Charlotte Claire too...I have a weakness for baby dolls...)...we also picked up eggs and milk and bread and coffee filters, so it wasn't totally bad that we didn't choose the grocery store...

Paul didn't quite get my reasoning when I came in the door laden with Target bags.

So..why do I hesitate to call Dr. Handsome? Well, for one, money. Our insurance stinks. We have to pay the first $2000 out of pocket. Then twenty percent of the next five or seven thousand. Dr. fee, then if he wants a sono done, ca-ching! We need to fill our oil tank to heat the house, that is like $500. And so on. I am not complaining, just explaining my hesitancy. I also hate going to the dr. hate hate hate.

Maybe if there wasn't flourescent lighting in the examining rooms. Being fat is one thing, but having it all highlighted with blotches.

Anyway, today is a good day. I am happy to be feeling better, and happy to be motivated to avoid greasy food. And I am seriously considering actually picking up that phone to call the dr.