I deleted yesterday's post. I realized as I was getting ready to go out and about yesterday that I probably gave a really wrong impression. I do not appreciate finding my son's friend sleeping on my couch, do not condone "drinking". And just to clarify things, my son Benjamin is a beautiful boy, I love him dearly, but he has chosen to live his life much differently than we would like for him. His choices are not always wise, he seems to flounder and suffer, and my personal opinion is that he needs to turn to God, but of course no one can make anyone do that. We have walked the fine line of accepting him and loving him and helping him get a start in life, while maintaining a home that is peaceful and a good place for our other children. Benjamin is shipping out with the Army next month, he is almost 22 years old, and he is a good kid. A good kid, but he has his trials....
Joseph starts his job today. He is working for our niece's husband, I am not sure exactly what he will do. He is nineteen years old, but I still reminded him to make sure he listens to what people are saying to them....around here he has this habit of looking interested when I talk to him, than saying, "What did you just say?" I cannot be too hard on him for THAT one, though....I can tune out the best of them.
The kids are getting ready for school, and Camille is up, and wants to cuddle. Perhaps I will get a chance to write later.....
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I just wanted to say that I read an article a few months ago that was directed at parents who are dealing with kids who choose to "walk the difficult path". The article was based of the story in the New Testament where Jesus cures the woman who sneaks up and touches the hem of His garment. She is healed just by touching the very edge of His clothing.
The author says that as long as parents are praying for their kids and asking Jesus to heal and help them, those kids are like the woman who touched Jesus' clothes. They are still "in contact" with and in the Presence of God through the intercession of their parents... even if they, themselves, are behaving otherwise.
This gave me hope for a lot of reasons, but mostly because I am the mother of a teen who is giving us a hard time and I'm sure some of his younger siblings will also try the same thing.
I just keep saying to myself these 2 things over and over: "Jesus, I trust in You!" and "Pray and have hope!".
You are doing an awesome job and I so admire you!!
I did not read your yesterday's post, but I can relate to your words. Our children pose the biggest potential for our own growth as God uses them to shed light on the dark areas of our own hearts and to teach us a bit of how much He loves and cares for us. I am hurting this week. My son and daughter in law are hurting. My husband is hurting and other of my children hurt as well. Sometimes I wish the growing lessons didn't have to hurt quite so much.
I suppose I was one of the lucky ones who got to read yesterday's post before it was deleted. In no way did I think it sounded as though you were condoning any of the behavior you woke up to yesterday.
Your posts are REAL and just like life, sometimes that means things aren't as pleasant as we would like them to be. I LOVE your posts and wouldn't change (or delete!) a thing.
My oldest son tends to tune out what people say to him as well (and so do I)...I wonder though if it has to do with living with a lot of noise and chaos and learning to tune certain things out so as not to go crazy? LOL!
As for your other son, he is an adult. We can't control what they do, we can just try to guide them, pray for them, and hope that they follow a good path. My oldest is almost an adult, and I think this is going to be the toughest part of parenting: watching them make dumb mistakes and allowing them to learn their lessons.
Long time lurker, first time commenting. First I want to say I love your parenting style, and I wished I had all the children that you do. I probably wouldn't even be posting, but had to when you said you deleted yesterdays post. You are a good person/mom, and shouldn't feel bad about your post from yesterday. I didn't think there was anything wrong with it. If you forbid your son's friend to stay overnight, and something happened to him like a car accident, you wouldn't be able to live with yourself. And wouldn't you want one of your children to stay at their friend's house if they weren't in a position to drive home? Actually Benjamin and his friend were very wise. God was watching over them, and brought them to your home safely. You have 13 more 21 year olds, and they will all be different. If none of them do what Benjamin has done you will be lucky but the odds are, they may do stuff that Benjamin has never done, and you will be easier as the younger ones turn 21. I was only blessed with one, but my 21 year old daughter knows that she can bring her friends home, and I won't judge. Don't get me wrong I don't have a flop house, and it doesn't happen on a regular basis, but on the rare occasion I do have an open door policy, since my daughter's friends are like my own children.
I am having internet problems, so I hope this isn't coming through multiple times...
I missed it too... :( It would be very hard to have a child go a different way than you would hope for them, but the verse in Proverbs. Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it. Trust that he will come back to the place that he needs to be. He will probably have scars from it all, but sometimes that is what it takes. I know, for me though, I wouldn't want a wayward child in the military. Too much crud there to tempt him to stay. I grew up in a military family and so did my husband, but I am really trying to sway my oldest away from it. Just my opinion...not a judgement.
Wow...I read my last post and a couple of things I notice was 1.)I need more caffeine in order to make a coherant sentence, and 2.) I should expound a little more. My point about the military is this...There is alcohol, pornography, gangs, cigarettes, etc everywhere you turn. If that is a lifestyle that is appealing, it will just stay that. ...appealing. That is all I meant. I know bad kids have come clean due to the strict military way also, but I don't understand how. Anyway, just my .02...probably only worth that much. LOL!
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