quiet down time

As I've said before, I think I appreciate leisure time more than a lot of people do. There are very few times around here that nothing is going on. Sometimes when I am reading something, or helping a child with homework, I tune things out so well, the other kids have to yell MOMMY several times before they break through to me.....it's a sanity saver. If I stop my thought train for every single interuption, I'd go crazy. Like this morning, we were trying to get I don't know how many kids out the door, I had to grab my coffee and my bagel to eat in the van, and I was looking around checking what we might've forgot to grab, and racking my brain for what I had to remember, and Kathryn was going out the door with me. She must've realized we were the only ones left in the house, and thought she had me alone, what a good opportunity to tell me about something that happened at school the other day....I felt awful saying it, but I had to tell her to tell me her story later...

Anyway, here I sit, everyone's in bed, or studying in their rooms....and I am here in the livingroom all alone. Wow, silence sounds nice! But my mother used to tell me quite often that when I was all alone someday, I'd miss all this. She would have nothing to do and nobody there to talk to , and wish she could trade places with me....

Sometimes I have to talk myself into thankfulness. And contentment. I can get ideas about the way I would like things, and look around me, and start really grumbling. It's good to be awake to this sort of thing and catch it early on. Like my house: my livingroom is really comfortable and functional. The furniture is new, last summer, the end tables are old, bought before I got married, the lamps are sort of new but both crooked lampshades from kids crashing into them...the carpet is a very nice shade of blue, but 16 years old....the walls are more dinged up than I'd like, painted about 2 or 3 years ago. And we have a mini trampoline in here, and of course the baby swing, and the "roundy-round seat", commonly known as an exersaucer, a red Bumbleride carriage, a big bouncy spring horse, a Little Tikes slide, a Little Tikes kitchen, and the bin of toy food and dishes, two dollhouses, a plastic 3 drawer bin full of dollhouse stuff, one huge bin of dollhouse stuff, a laundry basket full of trucks, a bin full of trucks and train track, the two computers, the piano, the sewingmachine and table, a few ride-ons.....Oh, we clean up here and vacuum everyday, but the stuff we have! We have a Little Tikes "raincar", commonly known as the Cozy Coupe, in the kitchen. And two Sit-n-Spins"...well, you get the idea. Kids live here, quite comfortably....when we moved in here 16 years ago from the mobile home, with 5 kids, I said, "No toys in the livingroom!" Well now, isn't that funny. When you walk down our hallway to the bathroom, you'll probably trip on the John Deer Gator ride-on, or the Little Tikes shopping cart....or the basket of play clothes the 4 little ones can't fit in their room... But you see, I don't really need a bigger house, or less stuff (the kids wouldn't like that), what I need is to be content with things the way they are. Of course, it is good to have a bit of discontent when things get messy, or when there are crumbs or sticky stuff, because that makes me get moving to clean it up. But basically, I need to count my blessings.

One thing I've noticed is that grumbling and complaining cannot co-exist with thankfulness, so I will count some of the things I am thankful for.

1. My husband. He is a good responsible provider, tenderhearted, and in my opinion, very handsome. I do not deserve him. But I do love him like crazy, and we have so much fun together still.

2. My house. I remember when we were building this, I was estatic. We wouldn't have this house if it weren't for my brothers, who sacrificed so much time away from their own families to help my husband build it. None of them are professionals, just amateurs building after work and on weekends....so when I start thinking of the addition we NEED, I try to remember to be thankful...

3. Did I really put the house second? The kids should be second. They frustrate me, and try me to my limits, but the hugs, and the compliments (my little girls thing I'm beautiful, ha!), the blessing they are to me is too vast to list here.

4. I have a sleep number bed, and I'm so very tired....I can't count any more blessings tonight. But: I have to be honest - All the thankfulness that I have is directed toward God, as He is in charge of everything. My husband is a good man because of Him, and I have my children because He has given them to me. If I have any patience or any wisdom, it is given from God. On my own, I can do nothing. I have given my life to Him, and He has blessed me.