For the past few days I have been wondering about how it is around here, the quarreling and bickering between some of the kids, and the head-butting that seems to go on between myself and some of my girls. I don't like it. I don't like it one little bit.
So today I had to do some driving...Paul and all the older ones were gone. I had to take Sam to his friend's house, 9 miles there and 9 miles home. Then Kathryn went to HER friend's house, ten miles each way. So I had a chance to do some thinking......
Part of my plan was to talk to the kids about thinking before they speak, forgiving, holding their tongues, and just plain enduring temptation to get the last word or be right. So I made a nice dinner for the ten of us (bacon-wrapped bread-crumbed chicken breast, wafflefries, and corn)...with lots of candles on the table, and there was a good spirit. I think they listened to what I had to say. I also talked to one particular child with whom I seem to get into these little things....I told her that I love her, and hate arguing with her, and that I know God can do miracles, and I know God answers prayers, and that I am praying for peace between us, and she seemed genuinely pleased with this.
Because seriously: I have a sinful nature. Despite the fact that I want to be good, there it is, that sin in me....(Romans 7:21, "I find a law that evil is present in me, the one who wills to do good..") So in my driving/quiet time today, I thought and prayed and prayed some more. It is interesting to be the mom, the one who teaches and enforces and above all, IS A GOOD EXAMPLE, when one feels so poor and totally unfit for the job. I am thinking that the GOOD EXAMPLE part it the most important part, and when the pressure is on, the most difficult to do....I am thankful for the pressure. I am thankful that I know exactly where I stand, because I know that the poor in spirit are blessed, and that God gives grace to the humble. God knows where my heart is and what I long for.....it doesn't matter in the least if someone else thinks I am a good mother. Because when I live with that realization that He SEES me, He KNOWS me, it really puts me in my place....ouch! But that is a good thing.
And I am full of hope. God doesn't just give out the children, then turn away from us. No, He will help those who seek Him.
Now Miss Camille wants me to tuck her in....
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5 comments:
Thanks for sharing your heart!
God will bless you for wanting to do the right thing; he knows how we are, he made us! How glad I am that He sees the children of God through Christ, who has been made to be our perfection!
God bless and keep you always!
You are such a good mom. What a blessing your children have been given. To have a mom that prays for them, loves them and seeks God's will concerning them. You are always an inspiration to me. I know you are not perfect:), none of us are, but you always strive to do what God wants you to do. You are a great example to not only your kids, but this blogging friend:)
Blessings,
Kim Chrisman
That seems like a very good idea, to set up the right atmosphere to be able to talk. It's so difficult to get out of the bad cycle of getting annoyed at each other...
I have been married only 2 years, but one thing I learned is to live with this prayer:
" Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
Amen. "
It is really hard sometimes to get over my little frustrations of feeling not loved and instead of pouting I go toward my husband an d do something nice for him..
But I don't know if that can work with children. Sometimes going towards them and doing something nice can be seen as aggression!
I hope it gets better for you all.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts so honestly. I needed to hear this today. I wish you luck!
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