morning blues...

I didn't start this day out crying...but then I checked facebook and my dear daughter Emily left a poem there for me that she thought I would like...and I did, but it made me cry. It is called "The Miscarriage", by Amit Majmudar. I guess you can say it Spoke To Me. I never wanted to end my baby career with a miscarriage......it was two years ago now, but that poem brought back that empty feeling. Those were dark days, losing my father and my brother and then that baby.

But there is no reason to dwell on the past, and in sad things. There are too many things to be glad about....easy to say now that I have had a good cry.

Yesterday's shopping excursion with the two little girls was quite an adventure. First I had to get them ready and bring them out. I had them sit in the minivan while I went back in for their Barbies, which they had forgotten. By the time I was heading back out the door, one of them was honking the van horn and I could hear shrieks of laughter. rrr. I brought them the dolls and told them it was NOT NICE to the neighbors to honk like that. Then I got the car seats from the big van....and oops, forgot to look where I was walking while carrying that giant car seat, and woosh, I almost fell after stepping suddenly in the huge mud rut from where I got the big van stuck in the yard last week...the rain had nicely filled it with water....oh, muddy boots! Then getting the carseats buckled into the backseat of the minivan....it's a good thing Charlotte Claire knows how to reach a buckle and hold it for me....I put the girls in the way-back because the middle seats are bucket seats.....they can't share dolls so nicely there.....

They were actually good in the store. Their dolls danced on the shelves while they played and sang......it went so well I decided to stop at the dollar store, too. Camille had to go pee as soon as we got in there, and of course there are NO public bathrooms there....so we hurried through....not before getting Camille some bubble gum and Charlotte Claire some lollipops....sometimes I just hate myself. I don't really want them to have that stuff....Camille was really good though, she had only one piece on the way home, just like I told her. But later...she got a piece stuck to her neck...on the back, and front, and some in her hair....I don't know how this happened, but it was difficult to remove....I rubbed lotion on it, then washed it with a cloth, over and over until it finally all came off. I told her No More Bubble Gum. blah.

As I attempted to start making dinner, I got a call from Ashley, who had taken the blue car up to the gas station to get air in the tires, and generally make sure it was running okay because she starts her new job today. Seems she had locked the keys in it. Ooops. The funny part was that she had taken Rosie with her, so there she was, at the gas station in the rain, with the dog locked in the car....I hopped into the minivan and went down there...we went over to the garage in town and the guy there came over and unlocked it for us....we gave him a twenty, and we were on our way....I must say though, it was tense there for a few minutes, with me wondering if Rosie was going to bite that nice man's hand off when he was opening the door....

The car started fine this morning, and Ashley has started her new job in town at the gas station/eatery. I promised her I would not bring Jon to visit her at work until she is trained and used to the job. And that we would behave ourselves. I am glad she found work so close to home. It will be good for her to keep busy, to get her mind off being away from Benjamin. She can't be with him until at least July, and I am sure that seems like forever and a day to her.

Paul had to go to a board meeting at church last night, so I was on my own for dinner and homework and getting them to bed, again...he was in Boston last week and the week before.....I always ask the older kids to help me help them with their homework...then I remembered one of the wet beds hadn't been changed, then the stories and teethbrushing....blah, by the time I sat down and put my feet up, I could have fallen asleep right away...but the night wasn't over yet...there was Aaron and Mali and Mirielle and Kathryn to talk to .....

We are trying to plan our camping trip for the summer...Adirondacks! Oh, it is so beautiful up there!

Then, once again, morning came too soon!!