weight loss success story

Strong winds and thunderstorms are predicted, so we cancelled. We are postponing for a day or two. Joseph and Sam were all dressed and ready to go, why do I feel bad? Moms just feel guilty about everything.

I am thinking of taking them on a little outing today before the storms move in. Perhaps down to one of the Finger Lakes, stopping at the cemetery to visit Robert's grave. My mother's mother is buried in a cemetery close to there too, I haven't been there in years. It is eerie to look at her gravestone, her name was my name, Della Marie. To see your name written there on a gravestone is a pretty good reminder that our days are numbered.

We need to live with that knowledge in the forefront of our mind, that our days are numbered. We WILL stand before God one of these days. I realized yesterday while cooking on the grill that I am still SO impatient. It was easy in days gone by to blame it on having so many little ones and needing to hurry to get to the baby, ect...but the fact is, I am impatient. I am demanding. I get irritated and offended so easily. When shall I be free of these things? There is much to work on here, even in these peaceful days of summertime.

I miss my Benjamin. Very very much. I had a dream about him the other night, that he gave me a big hug, and it made me cry. He is big and strong and muscular now, and is being trained to go to war, but he is still soft-hearted and sweet. He told me he bought some of that ready-to-eat chicken at Walmart the other day, and saw the potato "wedgies" I used to buy for the kids, and he missed home and me so much...wah.

Our house is going downhill, in the housekeeping department. I swept the living room yesterday, but not under the furniture or in the corners...I swept AROUND the dollhouse stuff....the girls get out towels and blankets and attatch them to their own ponytails and to their dolls hair to make LONG HAIR. So I find these blankets all strung together with hair elastics... Anyway, we clean up the counters and clean the floors and keep the kitchen table cleaned off...just the bare minimum. We seem to spend all of our time outside. Now that I am living my New Lifestyle, I am more active. Although I wouldn't mind if I were blessed with just one more baby to rock and cuddle...or put in a front carrier. Twins would be nice. One for me, one for the kids to share. ha.

Speaking of my New Lifestyle: I have now lost 30 pounds! I have my new scale, which I am ashamed to say I get on like four times a day, I weighed myself this morning and was 31 pounds lighter than my first weigh-in three months ago, but I take a pound off because I weigh more in the afternoon. And my that first appointment was in the afternoon, the appointment about my heartburn which is now long gone, the appointment in which my blood pressure was too high, the appointment which changed my life.

I am still determined to see this through. I want to be a Weight Loss Success Story. I don't want to be that Poor Lady Who Lost 30 Pounds and Gained It All Back and More. I read too much online, too many contradictions. Conventional wisdom that says creating a calorie deficit is the key is now being challenged. No matter the calorie content, foods that raise the insulin level need to be eliminated, ect. Makes sense. I try to balance out my grapes with almonds, my peaches with some peanuts. I have pretty much replaced lunch with a few little snacks of nuts and berries, feel like a bear. For dinner I eat chicken or beef and instead of rice or potatoes, two veggies. In the evenings I tend to gravitate towards chocolate chips and peanuts. And I still have an ice cream cone here and there.

We are officially going to the park. The kids are ready to go...