life goes on

On Saturday morning, I took some pictures of things that make me happy. The little girls, the flowers on the sides of the road, the Bad Dog...I was determined to have a happy day.

And I did. I went with Abigail to get her bloodwork done. But first I dropped off my prescription...then, the lab was closed early because of the hurricaine. Since she had fasted, we stopped at a bakery in the small city, shared a peanut butter chocolate donut. It was a long donut, filled with white cream and topped with peanut butter, then chocolate frosting, then crushed peanuts...oh heavenlyness. Then a rasberry danish...it was SO good. I only had about a fifth of each one, super good...then we went to...

1. Kohls. We had a ten dollar Kohl's cash coupon, plus a fifteen percent discount card. I got some 75 dollar running shoes for Mirielle for 15 bucks, plus Nike sneakers for Marg, sandals for Mirielle, really nice sneakers for Jon (regularly $45), sandals for Suzanne, Sonja, and Charlotte Claire, jean shorts for Samuel (his only request for school), two shirts for Joseph, two for Samuel, nice long shorts for Suzanne and Sonja, and a skirt for Charlotte Claire. All for one hundred dollars.

2. Big Lots. I spent too much money on frivolous things like bandaids and half price potato chips and body wash and some cranberry juice...then at the register, found out I got a 20% off coupon, did I want to use it today? Certainly.

3. Back to the drugstore in the small town on the way home to pick up my 'script. Nope, they didn't have it.

4. Home.

5. Later, tried again for the medicine. Walmart didn't have it.

6. Walgreens was closed. Rite-Aid was closed.

7. Stopped at TimHortens. Why did they charge me only $4.99 for a large coffee, a medium ice lemonade for Jon, a large rasberry tea for Abigail, and ten Timbits? I didn't ask.

8. Walmart for ice cream...and hot fudge, and whipped cream.

9. Home, where Paul had grilled chicken and veggies outside....

After all that, I stayed up too late, finally cried at two in the morning when everyone else was fast asleep...then...blah, Mali had an asthma attack while with some friends, they took her to the hospital in the big city. I got the call at four am, the heart-stopping, "Do you have a daughter named Mali, Mam?" phone call. I will spare the details, but I had to go up to the E.R. after one hour of sleep...

So much for resting up. But God IS good, and we can bear much more than we think we can. And there is so much to learn in each situation. God wants us to gain wisdom and mercy in our journey here. I have found when I am at the very end of my rope, when I have no more stamina, no more natural patience left, then God can strengthen and teach me.

I talked to my son Benjamin this morning. His month in the California desert is winding down, he has his phone back. He wanted to console me about losing the baby, and he reminded me that God has a reason for everything. I assured him that I do know this, and that I am not going to go off the deep end about this, but I really am sad. Every time I think of that beating heart, and remember the baby is gone, it hurts. But I cannot possibly ever in a million years articulate how totally encouraging and exciting it is to be able to talk to my son about how good God is. Ben has had his own trials this past month, surviving on 3 and four hour nights'sleep, sleeping on the ground in the desert, being with guys who were tired and sick of everything...yet he himself prayed and endured, and found he could be happy because he really felt God was there with him. I can't explain how good it is that though Ben is sad with me, he is also being grounded in the knowledge that come what may, we are being looked after.

We found out some excellent news this morning: my sister Cheryl has seven daughters. Two are married, one daughter is expecting her second child, the other is expecting her second AND THIRD! TWINS! My sister is getting twin grandchildren! A boy and a girl!!! All three grandchildren are due around the same time, in late January or so. Now, admittedly, this made my heart hurt, and I am a tiny bit jealous...but I am so very happy for my niece! Hey, she could give me one! ha.

So, today I am tired out. I need to really lie low today, the kids are all reminding me that this is their last week of summer, but I simply cannot do anything today. Evelyn made me a second cup of coffee with real whipped cream, super yummy. I am just glad there are no donuts in the house! I don't think I could say NO right now.