What's not to celebrate? Candy, dressing up, and romping around the sidewalks on a cold dark afternoon! Jonathan has high hopes, he says he will need some extra bags for when his candy bag gets too full.
At school, there is a Costume Parade. Sonja, Jonathan, and Charlotte Claire did not like the idea of dressing up and marching around, so I told them I would pick them up before the parade starts. Then as they ate breakfast, Char started developing a stuffy nose...she just didn't think she could go to school...real or just apprehensive about a different school day, I don't know. But we couldn't convince her to go, she just stuck to her guns and said she didn't feel well. Camille is thrilled to have her here, but it ruins my plans to go to the pool today...
I don't think the school officials would look too kindly on Charlotte Claire being at the pool with me when she is supposed to be in room #8.
Anyway, today shall be fun. Paul isn't really big on Halloween, but doesn't mind if we go out Trick Or Treating. We might just go to Chili's too, kids 12 and under eat free today...two kids per adult, but I have six kids 12 and under, I only need three over twelve to manage that...myself, and two more...no problem there.
It will be cold out there on the sidewalks, the high today is 50, but right now it is only 30. It will get colder as the sun goes down...so we have the mittens out.
So..how is life going? This is IT, this is life. No guarantees, just today, just now. I am finding many interesting things in this journey...like how to be free from people. I need my own connection with God, so that if others are down, I don't need to be down too. If I am not getting any thanks or honor or respect, that is okay, I get mine from Him. Easier said than done, but it is a work in progress.
Also, the Can't Please Everyone thing is alive and well...(You can please some of the people some of the time, but not all of the people all of the time...)This morning I made pancakes before my walk, and the first thing I heard was from Aaron, "Mom, we are going to smell like fried food!" Well, too bad, Mister. Some of the kids love when I cook breakfast for them.
I have wet bedding to put into the wash, and various other things to work on, like sweeping and cleaning the bathroom...
Candy...I do not eat candy anymore. Am I really typing this? ME? The Snicker-holic? Some people like chocolate, some people like gummy stuff, some like sour stuff....or caramel-y stuff...I like it all! Licorice, taffy, candy corn, marshmallows...the only thing that is yuck to me is a Pixie Stick, pure sugar, blah. But I just plain don't eat it anymore. I haven't eaten any all weekend, despite that the kids got lots yesterday at church, and there was some at the party on Saturday. These next few weeks will be tempting, but I shall just not eat any. Now, this does NOT include my dark chocolate chips. But I know these chips have 5 calories each, and I count how many I eat...planned and managed, but thoroughly enjoyed. My conscience simply wouldn't let me eat a candy bar at this point, and I hope it never will.
Because I have gotten a small taste of what it is like to have energy again, what it is like to move and feel good. I am not there yet, and have much more to lose, but I am determined to see this thing through.
Bread, rolls, crackers...I don't eat them. Except for the rare piece of whole grain bread or oat bread for lunch.
Pizza crust...I only have a small small piece of pizza, and fill up on chicken or other protein and salad or veggies. It is SO HARD TO DO, because who doesn't just love pizza?
Pasta. I do not eat pasta. At all. I have green beans with sauce and meatballs.
Cereal. Nope, only my oats.
Pancakes? ha. Of course not.
Potato chips? ha.
Pretzels? Not even.
Ice cream? Once in a while, it is my indulgence.
I did have that lemon cake on Saturday night, which was so so good....yesterday there it was again....I resisted and resisted, then took a taste...oh, yum. So I sent the rest of it home with Kim, she likes lemon stuff.
There is a half a pumpkin muffin still out there in the box. If someone doesn't eat it soon, I shall throw it away. I want to eat it. Maybe just one bite.
Will this ever end? Yes, everything will, someday. But until that day, I think it will just be my cross to bear.
And now I shall go put some pee pee bedding into the washing machine....
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2 comments:
Thinking of you while you battle the food being in the house and not eating it. It's a battle for me too. I have always had to watch what I eat and not eat at night etc etc so as not to gain weight and then with the pregnancies it just added more weight to me. I ate like a normal person this weekend and I literally gained 2 pounds-so, 1 pound a day! Just from eating 3 meals a day and 1 piece of a desert each day and just from eating normal stuff and not my usual
fruit and veggies. I hope I can control myself after trick or treating like you.
How in the world do you eat at Chilis for $34 with all those people?
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