summer 2011

summer 2011

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Thursday, March 12, 2020

here in california...

Well, true to what I had hoped, the sun has been shining, and I have been sitting in it. That's a craving I get in central New York's long wintertime, that feeling of sun warming my skin. Not just my face while the rest of me is bundled up, no sir.

The pool is gorgeous but still quite cold, but we did get into the hot tub yesterday, with some chips and salsa and a Margarita. Kathryn is having a relaxing time too, baby Achilles took a nice nap, so she got some sun. It's fantastic to spend time with Miss Suzanne too. I'll have to get better pics. I just hate to be "that person", who starts snapping pics when people are relaxing, ha.

Riley made homemade chicken pot pie for dinner, oh my goodness, then deep fried churros. We started this puzzle:

Today it's going to be nice out again, I love it.

But I do miss home. I talked to three of my girls at home yesterday, and to Paul last night. Colleges in NY are canceling classes, the school sent a notice that they're planning to send kids home with Chromebooks soon to do online school. It's a bit disturbing, life as we know it is changing rapidly, whether we feel threatened by this virus or not.

I do not like knowing there is suffering coming. I get sad if all the cupcakes get eaten and one happy, expecting child dances in and finds out they're all gone. I always want to have something to give, and to share with everyone. My recurrent nightmare through the years has been having unexpected company, like a whole house full, and : no food to give them. In the dream, I repeatedly open the 'fridge and freezer, and there's like one bag of corn, one pack of hot dogs, not enough of anything to feed everyone. Now I picture my kids, my grown up kids, not stocking up, not taking things seriously, and landing at my house, and my nightmare coming true.

So last night I ordered a big bag of dog chow, a bag of cat food, a bag of flour, some rice, and a big bag of M&M's. We're all set, ha. One cannot order toilet paper, it seems to be out of stock. I can just picture myself rationing it...

People have gone through all sorts of trials and tribulations all throughout history. I think we Americans have been rather insulated, living comfortably padded existences, for the most part. Now the uncertainty, and on such a HUGE scale, is almost overwhelming. But it keeps coming to me, "..the very hairs of your head are numbered...". (Matthew)

My belief is that God is always there for us, waiting for us to turn to Him, and when we do, well, we still might suffer, but there is a purpose for it. We know that He sends all things for our very best, weighed and measured, and we trust that He will do a work in us. So maybe we need these things to happen, so we can wake up.

I'm pretty sure none of us wants to be in the 20% who get really really sick with this virus. I know I don't! The thought of feeling suffocated, of BEING suffocated, struggling to breathe, no thank you! But as I used to say to my mom, who was on kidney dialysis three times a week for NINE YEAS, "what's the worse thing that can happen? You can die, and like it or not, we're ALL going to die." No, we don't want to think about that. But it WILL happen, and when it does, guess what? We each get to stand before Him, and does that thought make your knees knock in fear? Maybe it's time to start thinking about our purpose here on earth, and using the time to get oil in our lamps.

Sorry if that's harsh, but honestly, I'm not sure how people can function without trusting God with all of their hearts. I find myself slipping into fear that almost turns to terror, thinking about what's happening in Italy, and what could happen here, and I have to tell myself NO, God did NOT give us a spirit of fear, and to STOP. His word, his promises, they don't just cease to exist when crazy things happen.

Well, I did not mean to write a downer of a post this fine morning, but hey, I am just trying to keep it real. I just want to comfort you that if you're tempted to be scared, that's fine and normal. But. The good part is that we are NOT debtors to our flesh, we do not have to just be pushed around by it, we can take up a fight and not give into sin.

1 comment:

Linda M. Conley said...

No downer, I completely understand what you are saying, friend. AND I am so jealous...its not cold here in western NY (55*) but it is cloudy.

My professor (the Directed Study professor) just got back from CA, he had to get his daughter, USC is closing due to the virus...and yes, indeed, SUNY/CUNY is as's sad, truly it is. My college career went from going out with a bang to a thud, sigh.

Signs of changing times, my friend.