summer 2011

summer 2011

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Paul and I, all 16 kids and Ashley, Benjamin's wife...Christmas 2012

Friday, December 17, 2021

the weather outside is delightful, but in here, my house is frightful...

 ...but since you all love me so, let it go, let it go, let it go!

That's not how it goes.  I know.  Does anyone else walk around the house singing?  Real words, made up words, there's a song for every situation.  Sometimes I but the H out of my kids by singing all responses.  The bad thing is that I know darn well that I cannot sing well, but I no longer let that stop me.  

Today I am going out and about with Sonja and a few of her friends, they are buying food for a very fun girls' party, and I am buying some gifts for a small activity club party next week.  I have a few other gifts to get, but mostly, I am done.  Mostly.  Most of what has arrived here via delivery, or that I have bought is wrapped.  I am itching to get started on Christmas baking, week, so it'll be fresh for Christmas.  This weekend, a big batch of fudge, for our Christmas concert at church on Sunday.  

Sometimes just a word can make me so nostalgic I could cry.  Today's word was pram suit.  When Emily was born, in January of 1985, someone gifted me a 6-12 month sized pram suit.  Back then, I had no infant car seat, just an infant-to-toddler model... (car seats were brand spanking new to the parenting world.)  Ours was a big honking vinyl covered contraption, complete with the padded armrest thingy in the front.  Tiny newborn Emily just swam in that thing, just like she swam in the pram suit.  I was 19 years old, we had HUGE college loans, and Paul had a rather low paying job, so we didn't even consider for one minute going out and buying a smaller one.  We used what we had.  I just remember though, putting her in that and rolling up the sleeves, and her being so small and cuddly....we had to carry her in the stores because the car seat was huge, we didn't bring it out of the car, back then.  

Why is this sad?  Not because it was too big, but because once upon a time, Emily was so small.  I was so young.  I treasured her.  I treasured all of my babies.  I loved them so much it hurt.  It was my life's work, to sacrifice and give and nurture and comfort and scold and praise and feed and clean and cuddle them.  As they've grown, I've come to see things that are valuable to children:  attention, positive attention of course, to know that they are indeed special, to be listened to, to know they are wanted and loved.  These things were sometimes challenging to me during those crazy busy years.  My head was spinning, and the one thing I would question:  do they each KNOW how much they mean to me?

Now they're growing up, the youngest is 14, and I still wonder that...I hope they're not dwelling on the things I forgot, like their snack days or to pick them up after school (that was ONE TIME!).  As Christmas approaches, the the pile of gifts under the tree swells and multiplies, I hope that they each know that I'd give them the very MOON, if I could afford to.  (but you know, 16 + 7 (spouses) + 10 (grand kids) multiplied by say...$25, that equals $825....and the ones at home, I spent a heck of a lot more than that all the kids' parties and gifts for church, and and's a lot.  I know that money doesn't buy happiness, but it sure does buy good Christmas gifts, ha.  And what better way to say I LOVE YOU than something thoughtful and nice?

I did change course in that rant, I sure did.  I was all sniffy and teary eyed about how quickly the years pass, landed on GIFT GIVING.  

Here's something good:  my sister is having a visit from her daughter and son-in-law, who reside up in Canada, she's seeing grandchildren she hasn't seen in TWO YEARS.  That is way way way too long, for living four hours away!  It's criminal!

Today, I'll skip my Covid rant, but not without mentioning the crimes against humanity itself, committed by those in power, by limiting, dismissing, and vilifying early treatment methods, in order to present only one solution.  This is something real that has happened, and it has caused death and suffering.  If you want to go ahead and believe that your government wants what's best for you without interest in their own power and advancement, go right ahead, I'll still be your friend.  

I hope you all have a very good and blessed weekend....


Carol said...

It is so hard in the busyness of being a parent to realize that the most important thing is time with them and to treasure it. Now being a grandparent, I realize that many of the small things that we did was so much more important than the big things. A trip to Niagara Falls that we literally did not have the money for and so we took sandwiches and drinks with us for the trip and they still talk about it today! The must have gifts for Christmas have all been tossed aside and most are non memorable, but the small picnics and playing in the creek are what is still spoken of today.

Mari said...

My kids were born in that same time, and I know what you mean. My granddaughter turned one today - she's our daughters first, and she was telling me how she's not ready for this first year to be done. You know the saying - "the days are long, the years are short". Good memories!