Oh, how I love this time of night, all the little ones tucked into bed....I am still reeling from the day....it isn't all the specific things that happen, but the dealings with the certain kids that can wear one out. Charlotte Claire is quite high maintenance at this time in her two year old life, and so is Miss Camille. But sometimes it's the older ones who really drain me. My 19 year old son...he's a good kid, but not so great with his finances....he's a student, and works, and doesn't get enough sleep. He's always a day late and a dollar short....I just want him to get his act together, do well in school, and manage his money better. I mean, he had a cell phone, with a huge payment, and he somehow ran over his phone, and still pays the payment....it just seems like all these things happen to him...this boy was my absolutely adorable little boy. He was Mr. Helpful when he was little. He could pick up and vacuum when he was three years old. Not because I made him, all you social services workers out there, because he wanted to. He loved his Tonka trucks, the ones that had boats with trailers that hitched up....and tractors and backhoes....I watched basketball and football with him...oh, he's still alive and well, but he runs in and out of here, grabbing some food with him....He has grown up, but I feel I haven't instilled enough sense into him somehow....I fell like I am just dreading a phone call that he's been in a terrible accident....he has already been in two life-threatening accidents. When he was 10 years old, my husband took him on a boys camp out....and I knew when they pulled out of the driveway in that little red Toyota pickup that something bad was going to happen...I told them repeatedly when they were leaving to BE CAREFUL. To make a long story short, he fell of the front of the pontoon boat, went under it as it continued to go forward, and hit the propeller....the driver thought the kids were kidding that Ben was hit, and kept going. One of the boys jumped in and pulled him onto the boat....he was totally ripped up...they had to meet the ambulance from a boat....he ended up with 106 stitches, and his hip was just mangled...he was extremely lucky that the propeller hit that hip bone, and not is stomach....he was in an Adirondack hospital, almost 5 hours away.....he had a fever....I was due for baby #11 in a few weeks....what a summer that was....he did fully recover, though his hip will always be a bit messed up. Then he had a four wheeler accident, in which his brakes failed and he hit a tree branch, which went right into his leg....the infection started immediately, and he had to have surgery....he was in the hospital for a week...that was 3 summers ago....so he's ruined two family vacations now! Really, I just love him so much. If love could make him do well and make the right decisions, he would be just fine. He has had a decent upbringing, and many people that care for him and pray for him....
Then, I have a daughter, I won't even state her age, because she wouldn't like it, but she is young. And she is beautiful, and very smart. She plays the piano, and the sax, and is a year ahead in band. But, she just slams around here! She has a hard time seeing herself, always blames her actions on the others. Sam just has to say that boys are better than girls, and she is flying off the handle...she thinks everyone is against her. She likes to get the last word, and if she doesn't, she puts her hands over her ears and hums really loudly...but when she wants to be, she is such a sweet girl. She has a wicked sense of humor, and really likes to have a good time. She's not a teenager yet, but seems like one. We have asked all the other kids to please not tease her, even a little, so we can have more peace here. And I have tried to talk to her about her behavior - tried not to let her blame others....even if she doesn't own up to her angry behavior there will be consequences....but in all this, I need to still love her. Still be soft-hearted toward her. It is interesting, the soul churns. I am pretty weak, I don't like to dole out punishments, but I sincerely love her, and I know children need limits and expectations to live up to. I don't always know what to do, but God gives wisdom....each child, each situation is different....but one thing I need, is to keep calm and stay in patience...then God can help me.
And, I have gone on and on and on....time for bed. The day has been full enough. I need to go talk to God.
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2 comments:
So, you do have those days! I understand some of what you are saying, although you likely have double because you have double the number of offspring. My number 2 son gave us a run! I think he was born a teenager, none of the others came that way. Sweet and soft on the inside but a tough crusty outer shell... well, it looked tough anyway. When he was in his upper teens I found that only prayer seemed to change his situation and sometimes he would say, "Have you been praying for me Mom? Cause I can feel it." God has worked wondrously in his life and I am still in awe.
Oh yeah, I do. My Ben is the same, he is tender on the inside, but he smokes, and has girlfriend trouble...and car trouble. I suspect that God allows things to go rough for him...so he'll turn to Him. I keep praying for him!
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