panic cleaning for nothing!!!!

Ashley with the five youngest....they were all ready to see Gramma...but it was extremely windy and rainy, and she was very tired. So she called and said she would come another day. I cleaned for nothing!

Actually, it was a good incentive. I packed away boots and mittens, since May is next week. I paired up shoes and sandals and threw away some hopeless ones. I swept and moopped and dusted and straightened...cleaned the fronts of the appliances...it looked nice in here. Notice the past tense.

The thing is, all afternoon, I wanted to go to the pool. I just longed for it. It is relaxing, and good excercise, and I wanted to go. Thinking Gramma was coming still, I decided to go anyway. I secretly asked Suzanne, Sonja, and Jon, then told the little girls where we were going and that I would take them another day....off we went, feeling more than a little bit guilty...but it was so much fun! I like talking to those three while we swim....we were home by 6:15...Paul was leaving for a board meeting, Sam and Margaret and Kathryn and Evelyn were leaving for soccer practice, and I still had to make dinner. Boxed macaroni and cheese (I cheated and had a little bit...horrible but so good), broccoli, spinach, and chicken. There was only Mirielle, Ashley, Mali, Suzanne, Sonja, Jonathan, Char, Camille, and I for dinner. Aaron was working, and Joseph was doing homework.

Today I have to take Charlotte Claire to Kindergarten Registration. Paul says it is sad, says I should at least homeschool for kindergarten. hmm.....she is so excited though. She thinks school is going to be fun.

This weekend we are celebrating Sonja's birthday, on Friday to Saturday with a sleepover. Then on Sunday after church (and an activity club party), we shall have Jon's party. The next weekend is our church soccer weekend, where we will be busy watching the games AND running the grill/candy store. Then there is a church conference, then my niece is getting married and I am making the cupcakes for the wedding (200 cupcakes plus a small cake for the top)....one good thing: cupcakes don't scare me so much anymore. There is still one left in the kitchen...I had one half of one the other night, and it was enough. Wait, is this ME speaking? wow. I still love things like that, I just love wanting to get into shape MORE. So with each temptation, I have to have that vision, that goal in mind. Just like our spiritual life.

Dinner time is the hardest for me. I have put time and effort into the meal, and I want to eat it. I try to pile my plate with salad and greens and totally skip the rice or potato or bread, but sometimes I have a little taste. What I need to do though is fill my plate, and not have seconds. I haven't been eating anything after dinner at all. When I am tempted to look around for something, I go and count up my calories for the day, and decide not to eat more.

If I am obsessed, that is just the way it has to be for now. I cannot just go on with life and expect this weight just to fall off on it's own accord. No, this is war! I am learning to eat and enjoy it, but not eat for the fun of it.

Anyway, enough of this for today. We are stuck in the rain here in central New York state. Rain, day after day...this morning it is foggy out there. It was totally cool when I took Rosie out into it. It is supposed to get very warm today and tomorrow, almost 80, but with thunderstorms. I just want some sunshine to bask in....

Camille is cuddled up to me now, she needs a bath. Rosie had a bath yesterday....I washed her face and neck and ears with lavender baby shampoo, she actually smells good. I wish she would stay nice and clean.

I wish the house would stay nice and clean, too. There are three guitars in the living room right now. Paul and Mirielle and Joe play, and sometimes Margaret, though she mostly plays piano. Aaron came home from work at the grocery store and left his shirt and tie in the chair. Someone was looking at a National Geographic map, it is on the couch. A pencil here, a sock there....nice.

But today is another day. I shall make the most of it.