ahh, another monday morning...

Sometimes the mundane-ness of life can fool me into thinking I will be here forever and ever. When people get diagnosed with terminal illnesses, they often start trying to live life to the fullest, be extra kind, not waste moments. But we ALL have a terminal illness, in a sense. Our days are numbered. So...this morning, as I survey my kingdom from my comfy chair, I sigh with blah-ness, because...I have done all this before. Day after day, and especially Monday after Monday. The new couch-clothes monster, the dishes stacked up, the floors that ever need sweeping and mopping. The remnants of a cozy weekend in the form of fleecy blankets on the couches, the toys and books scattered....but this is MY JOB!! It is MY LIFE!! Can I finish grumbling about it for once and for all, and just be thankful that today, on this cold windy Monday morning, I am still alive and well?

It IS cold out there. I took Rosie out, and brr!!! We took the cheat-y short version of our walk this morning. She kept looking up at me, like she was asking what this cold wind was all about. She forgot such things existed in those glorious days of warmth we have had.

Yesterday...chilly and rainy, damp. The kind of day to curl up in front of the fireplace, if one has a fireplace. Paul decided to go the big mall in the suburbs to pick up his new glasses. He invited the little kids and I to go with him. I asked him if we could just take a quick run into Price Chopper too, to get some of the chicken they have on sale. So, off we went. We got to talk in the minivan, which is always a treat. Anyway, we got the glasses (I let Char and Camille each try on two pair of glasses, they looked so cute! Camille thought she looked so cute she tried to convince us that her eyes hurt and she couldn't see. Jon held up two fingers and asked her how many fingers he was holding up...she squinted and said, "Three?"...she is too smart.)

So. We got into Price-Chopper. Jonathan got one of those car-car carts to push the princesses in, then they decided they wanted to walk and help Mama, ha, and my phone rang. It was Mirielle, calling from the Dome in Syracuse, we had forgotten to sign a permission slip for Samuel to work at the lacrosse game, a church fundraiser. So we put back the broccoli I had just bagged up, and off we went to the Dome.

We decided not to go back to the grocery store, it was too far away and not really necessary. Home. Yay, Abigail was here! And, she wanted to go grocery shopping. So off I went with Abigail, all the way back down to Price-Chopper....

Paul made dinner while we were gone so we came home to chicken breast and roasted red potatoes, corn, and the broccoli I had gotten on my second Price-Chopper trip.

Ashley heard from Benjamin yesterday. I won't say where he was or where he is going, mostly because I am not exactly sure of his destination, but his mission was changed, which freaks me out a little bit. He was supposed to stay on base with the mortars, but that is not what is happening now. I know this isn't a tropical vacation for him, but jeepers, it is hard.

Tomorrow is my second weekly weigh-in for Phase Two of my weight loss try...it would be nice if I could remember how much I was last week! I guess I should be writing stuff down more. I was the lowest ever yesterday, but it inched up a little this morning, which seems to be the norm for me. Down a little up a little, with frustrating slowness, so gradual...but at least I am going in the right direction, down! Both Saturday and Sunday I did my long walks, but no other exercise, except for shopping. Today, back to the grindstone. blah. I feel so much more energetic being back into eating better and exercising though. It is a good feeling to have that muscle soreness, and that firmness that comes from working out. I had hoped to be much lighter by now, but it is what it is, and there ain't nothing I can do about it. I can only work on NOW, not yesterday.

Here's the thing: I eat my oatmeal with peanutbutter at 7:30-8:00-ish. Then I don't eat anything until at least noon. I am not hungry before then anyway, but the Old Me would just eat when I felt like it. If I want something now, I just look at the clock, and if it is before twelve, I just wait. Then I eat something healthy, like a pile of raw spinach with toasted almonds and maybe a pear or some cucumbers sliced on it. Or an apple and some almonds. Or a scrambled egg and half a grapefruit. Then in the afternoon, I almost always have a yogurt with my coffee, a light yogurt. Then dinner, which almost never includes simple carbs, though I did have a really tiny red skinned potato last night with my chicken and big pile of broccoli. I don't eat bread, but sometimes I will have the tiny end piece. I don't eat corn. I don't eat pasta or noodles. If I am really hungry, I will make a hot bowl of spinach with lemon-pepper on it, just to fill up. Then in the evening, I try not to have anything, which doesn't always work. Last night I had Swiss chocolate from Wegman's, the dark with almonds. Oh yum. I had it right after dinner, hoping that would help not raise my blood sugar too much. I am a scientist as well as a doctor. ha.

Anyway, the Not Eat 'Til Noon thing helps me not just mindlessly snack, which is my favorite thing, which I do miss. I think about everything I put into my mouth these days. And yes, I did have ONE cupcake on Saturday. I meant to have one bite, but I should know myself better by now. They are now all gone, those evil cupcakes, yay! I am not making any more of those for a long long time. Unless anyone asks me to. Wouldn't it be fun to have a cupcake business? Baking and frosting every day?

Well, I hate to end this fun and exciting post, but Miss Camille has eaten her toast with butter and jam (oh, I wanted to eat some of it!), and her slice of cranberry bagel bread, and drank her milk, and she wants more breakfast. I think what she really wants is her Mama's attention. It is quite and lonely here with all the college kids gone, the school kids gone, Joseph went to work, Paul went to work...